


How about those spooky spindly shadowy sinister senoritas?

by Kaktus_nsfw



Category: Original Work
Genre: Childhood Friends, F/M, Human, Interspecies Relationship(s), Masturbation, Monsters, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:40:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 80,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28076361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaktus_nsfw/pseuds/Kaktus_nsfw
Summary: Leo has settled into his life comfortably. A good job, a good house, a nice town. There's always something to keep him occupied and the future looks bright. However, one night changes everything when an old friend comes back into his life. Problem is, she isn't the nicest houseguest and furthermore? He isn't even sure what she is.
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Male Character
Comments: 11
Kudos: 91





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First and foremost, I would like to mention this is based on the character made by the talented artist, Napalm Express. They've worked with me very closely in making sure everything is accurate to how they would like the character portrayed and is mainly how I've been able to work on this for so long.  
> Check them out here!  
> https://twitter.com/NaPalm_Express
> 
> Normally I wouldn't post a WIP like this, however pastebin has recently been cracking down on "adult" pastes, thus I figure it would be best to post it here and other places. Currently it only contains small references to adult content but will possibly include more intimate content later. Coming in at about 50,000 words (and more to come), it's probably fitting it go on a proper readable website rather than a code dumping site.
> 
> Also, I do know I need to do some formatting. Don't mind my mindless disregard for emdashes and smart parentheses just yet.
> 
> Originally the name was a placeholder, but it's starting to grow on me. It might just stay when it's done.
> 
> Just added proper chapters, do let me know how they feel and if I should reevaluate their lengths.
> 
> Thanks for reading, and do be sure to criticize this as harshly as you please.

“The reports aren't necessary, Mr. Davis,” a voice on the phone said.

“I understand, Sir, but I intend to make sure my work is up to standard.”

“Mr. Davis.” There was a sigh. “Leo. I'd find it hard to believe your work was ever not up to qualifications.”

“Thank you, Sir,” Leo replied.

A pause halted the conversation. “Have a good night, Leo,” the voice said in resignation.

“Likewise, Sir. Goodbye.” Leo placed his phone in the cupholder next to his seat and slumped back. Another day finished, exactly on time. He continued on his silent drive home. The sunset cascaded through the forested trees, providing comfortable cruising light. It wouldn't be long before he'd be back in the comfort of bed.

The winding road lead him past more trees, by a couple of homes, over a short bridge, and finally into his extended driveway. The path veered off into more clustered trees, with only a small opening for his car to get through. The road went up before dipping back down, stopping right next to his home. Leo set the car in park and rubbed his eyes, then went through a mental list to make sure he hadn't forgotten anything. Satisfied with himself, he picked up the leather case from the passenger seat and his phone, and stepped out of the car.

Instantly the entirety of the forest hit Leo's senses. It was a familiar sensation. The birds chirping in the distance, joined by a cacophony of insects as the wind blew through the trees. It was a comforting sense of life. He took a deep breath before setting off for his front door. Leo looked down to wipe his feet on the door mat, noticing it was off center. He pushed it back into place as he cleaned himself off, then stepped inside.

The front door closed, sending an echo all throughout the house. Maybe carpet flooring would have been better, Leo thought to himself. Carefully, he set aside his business shoes along with his case on the table. He moved from the foyer and looked over at the kitchen. All six of the dining chairs were neatly tucked away under the table, untouched. Leo's attention shifted over to the fridge. He shook his head. Not hungry at the moment. 

Leo continued to his bedroom, undoing and neatly folding up his tie as he moved. He tossed the garment into a hamper as he entered his bedroom. There was a stuffy, stale feeling to the air, as if he hadn't been there in years. He switched off the fan and pulled his shirt off. It too was folded neatly and tossed into the hamper. Leo sat down on the bed, folding his hands.

What was on tomorrow's agenda? There had been any new calls about the merger. All filing on excess stock had been finished. His daily report was already filed out. Ah... Tomorrow was Saturday. Leo looked at the wall, noting the spackling on its surface. Then there was nothing to do. He stared for a moment longer before he shifted onto his back, settling on his bed. His hand automatically hovered over the night stand, where the remote was, as he had always done. Might as well, he figured. Leo picked up the remote and turned on the television. 

Maybe it was time to retire for the night? Leo glanced out the window. The sun had set, but its lingering glow was still present, peeking through the trees. Not yet, that might throw off his entire schedule. Leo continued to stare at the television, occasionally flicking the channel. He silently hoped for his phone to make some sort of noise, giving him something to do, but it didn't come. Nothing around the house required his attention either. Everything was as presentable as it could be. For absolutely nobody. He looked around his room for any distractions before settling on the empty space next to him.

He didn't really need a queen sized bed, did he?  
_

After a premade dinner and a shower, Leo was back in his bed waiting for ten P.M. on the dot. The light outside had all but disappeared, leaving only the blue hue of moonlight to flitter through the leaves. A faint scratching coming from the walls interrupted his waiting. He perked up and listened for the sound. There it was again. A damned animal better not have gotten stuck in the walls again. Leo stood up and walked out into the living room, hunting down the source of the noise.

The scratches became prolonged, dragging each one out. Then a wave of them. Leo shook his head. Now it was a whole infestation. He knelt down near the front door, and gently knocked on the wall. The scratching immediately stopped. That did the tri— A loud bang sounded back, causing his nerves to jump. He stood up and looked out the window. Was it something outside?

The porch and treeline near the front of the house made the window a deep, inky black. He leaned over and turned on the porch light.

A sinister grin from a black blob greeted him back. Leo froze. His mind couldn't make out much aside from a strained sneer and two, wide eyes that pierced through his heart. It let out a stuttering groan similar to a pained animal, and banged on the wall again. Too much stress. This was just too, too much stress raring its ugly head. He shut his eyes and turned off the porch light. With a deep breath he swiveled around on the spot and walked away.

Another bang made it clear that the thing wasn't going away. Leo wasn't going to let delusions get the better of him. “Leo!” the thing called out happily. No. No, just go away. “Leo Lion!” He froze. Fear was overridden by something else. He tightened his eyes as he tried to focus on that sensation. Nostalgia? Familiarity in that voice. That bubbly, all too young voice. He shook his head. “Where ya going?” That wasn't— “Scaredy cat as usual?” Bang. That wasn't possible.

"Open the door! I'm freezing out here!" Bang. Leo balled his hands into fists. How was she back? He had to check, make sure she was actually there. Leo opened his eyes, bringing him back to the house. Gathering his nerves, he walked back to the light and placed his hand over the light switch. "You don't look a day over forty, ya know?" the darkness said. Flick. There she was, staring him down, unblinking. The light barely reflected off her night black fur. She placed a hand on the window, showing off her long, spindly fingers tipped with threatening claws.

Leo stared, and stared, and stared. "Take a photograph, it'll last longer," she said, flashing her white ivory. Mindlessly, he put a hand up to the window. She wasn't real. She couldn't be real. All these years of wondering. There wasn't a chance she was real. And yet... "Well? Done admiring?" She placed a hand in front of his, those long digits extending past his own.

"M--Missy?" he said. The word still felt alien to him.

"Ding, ding, ding, ding!" she said, tapping her fingers in unison with her teasing. "You got it!" Her expression flattened. "So are you gonna let me in or what?" Leo examined her closely, trying to find any faults in the illusion. But there was none. There was none, and that frightened him. His mind screamed in defiance, don't ever let that creature near you. That pit in his chest told him she was comforting, almost familial.

The man swallowed and stepped over to the door. Missy's smile returned instantly, her form disappearing from the window. He unlocked the door before stepping back. The handle jiggled violently, then came to a halt. "A little help?" she said through the door. Leo relented, pulling the door inward a small amount. Fingers crept around the door and pushed it forward, revealing the creature in the flesh. She stepped inside and kicked the door shut. A part of Leo wanted to complain about her crude behavior, but he kept his mouth shut.

"Wow! Look at this place! A whole house to yourself, huh?" she said, looking around the dark room.

"Is it really you?" Leo asked firmly, as if a delusion would deny itself.

"Of course it's me. I'm the most me there is. You seen any other mes around?" she replied, walking around the room. "If you do, tell them off for me." She plopped down onto a couch. It was hard to make out at this light, but it was clear she started lounging. "So how've you been, Leo?"

"Why are you here?" he asked, taking a tentative step forward. "How are you here?"

"I just got here and you're already interrogating me, sheesh." She let out a low guttural yawn. "Aren't you happy to see me?"

"I'm..." Something, alright. It was hard for him to accept she was there at all. "It's been years, Missy." He rubbed his eyes. "I thought you didn't exist." 

"Living proof," she said with a smile, teeth reflecting in the light. Indeed, living proof. He could try to touch her just to make sure, but that wasn't happening. "So is this a good spot to sleep or've you got room in your bed?"

"What?" Leo shook his head. "No, you haven't even answered my questions yet."

"Oh yeah." Missy held up two fingers. "One. The internet exists." Her index finger curled down, leaving the middle one. "And two, I took a very long stroll." Leo glanced back at the door. They were a long way from the old home. Just how far did she travel? "So is this a good spot or what?"

"Why here? Why now?" Leo shot back. "Don't you have anyone else?"

Missy rolled onto her back and stretched. "Man, you just do not let up." She grumbled. "Look, my last guy ducked out. I thought you were cool. Simple as that." Leo's internal thoughts denied her near instantly, but he kept his mouth shut. There was a soft, vulnerable feeling in his heart that felt terrible at the thought of kicking her out. But her? His eyes went across Missy again. She was an imaginary friend. A nightmarish one. She couldn't live here. God knows what she'd do when he was gone, or heaven forbid, while he was home. "You still make that face, huh?"

"You've got nowhere else to go?" Leo said, ignoring her. "Absolutely no one else to turn to?" 

"Nope!" 

Leo pursed his lips and sighed. "No one else? You're not lying?" You have to.

"Not a soul, guy."

Just this once. "You get the night. That's it," he said firmly. Missy sprung from the couch, demented smile still plastered on her face. He pointed at her. "But you don't touch a goddamn thing. Got it?"

The monstress's expression soured for a moment. "Scared? Where's brave Leo?"

"He took a hike when he got a job." The man crossed his arms.

"Sucks." She spun around and looked at the house again. "Nice digs, though. So, what, you some kinda investor or CEO?"

"I'm a—"

"Never mind, it's probably too boring." This was going to be a mistake. She started walking about.

"Where are you going?" Leo said, trailing a safe distance after her.

Missy crooked her neck back at him. "Having a look. God, I'm not gonna piss on the walls." She waved him off. Leo watched her closely. While the ease in his heart told him she was a friend, other parts still screamed to get away. "Doesn't look like you got a taste in decor. But hey, bachelor life." She really was here, wasn't she? 

"Where have you been?" Leo asked all too earnestly. It was hard to think she could stay anywhere.

Missy stopped in her tracks. "In not the best places." She returned to pacing. "This place is turning out pretty good." Leo's mind struggled to come up with anything to say. It was like a mythical beast waltzed into his home. A part of him wanted to cheer at the fact that she wasn't a sign of mental illness, and yet another grappled with the fact that things like her did in fact, exist. 

Most importantly, she was a friend. An old one, in any case.

Missy was a long cry from her younger self, but she was still recognizable. Though now, instead of a worn, girly dress, she was sporting much of nothing at all. Her proportions had grown drastically, including her arms and hands, which now hung down nearly to her knees. Missy's snout had also expanded from a cute nub to a near canine-like protrusion. 

Of course, Missy had also grown into a woman in the process. Fur fortunately hid her indecency, at least directly. Her modest breasts were quite visible on her chest. She was curvier too. A full of head of strangely human hair flowed down from her head. It was longer, curlier, and interestingly more reflective than the rest of her fur.

“Hold on, you've got a whole queen here and I'm taking the couch?” Missy said as they rounded into his room.

“We're not sleeping together, Missy,” he said plainly. For several reasons.

“It's only one night.”

“It's one night, in my house.” He pointed to himself. “Don't like it, you can take up a tree outside.”

She rolled her eyes. “Pshhh, fine. That's how you treat a long lost friend, sure.”

“I barely even know you anymore! Christ, I almost went crazy thinking you were some horrible delusion from trauma!” Leo huffed.

Missy held up her hands. “Damn, dude, and I thought I had issues. No trauma here. I'm real, see?” She extended a hand and prodded him with a clawed finger. He winced at the spindly thing touching him, but he supposed it did help. “I'll take the couch if it means so much to you.” She turned around and walked past Leo, close enough to get a scent off her. Instead of wet dog, she smelled of shampoo and a faint earthy aroma. Someone had to have been helping her.

The two wandered back into the living room, where Missy lay down again. Leo took up a pristine lounging chair nearby. “No free shows,” Missy said. 

Leo shook his head and sighed. “Why'd you come here, Missy? I don't want a cute answer either.”

Missy looked over at the window. “Last one on the list, Leo. Didn't like the other guys.”

“Fucked up that bad?” List?

“We did our share of fucking up, alright? I don't want to talk about it, especially not with the guy who lumped me on a couch.” She turned away. “Good night.”

Leo lingered on her for a moment longer. He opened his mouth to say something else, then shut it tightly. She was really here. He couldn't take the suddenness of the situation, nor its bizarre implications. The man stood up and walked back to his room. He stopped to give her one last look. So much he had to ask. So much he couldn't ask. His hand settled on the door knob, then quietly closed the door.


	2. Chapter 2

Leo awoke as he always did, staring at the ceiling. He rubbed his eyes just as the alarm went off seconds later. With a groan and a stretch, he stood up, then instantly froze. Last night. Did that happen? He rushed over to the door and carefully opened it, just enough for him to peep through. The couch was barely visible, and from what he could tell, no ravenous monsters were sleeping on it.

A white eye slid into view, followed by a row of teeth. “No peep shows.” Leo backed away, shutting the door promptly. Not a dream. He shut his eyes. Not a goddamn dream. He hurriedly got dressed, then stepped back out into the hallway. Missy was there, brushing her hair with — what else — his own brush. She held it awkwardly between her freakish thumb and index finger. “Mornin',” she said, not shifting her attention. She was wearing a bright red shirt that hung loosely over her frame.

“Is that my shirt?” Leo asked annoyedly. “That was supposed to go into the wash today.”

“Who's shirt would it be, Einstein?” She looked over at him. He could see the horribly knotted up mess that was in his brush. “Thought it would be cool if it was dirty, but”—she sighed—“guess not with you!”

Leo huffed. “You had your night, now get out.” He shooed her off. “And leave the shirt.” He pursed his lips. It was hard to fling her out like that, but he knew already she would be trouble.

“Look, Leo, buddy, I've got nowhere else to turn.” She shrugged. “What's one more day?”

“I can't look after you—” Leo sized her up. “Whatever the hell you are.”

“Wolficus Maximus.”

“What?”

Missy continued casually brushing. “That's what we agreed on, remember?” There was a pang of familiarity to the name, something long lost calling out a memory in his mind. “Too cool for that stuff now, I guess.”

Leo focused himself back on the situation. “Just because we were friends as kids doesn't mean we are now.”

“I get it, I get it. I'm just some loser.” Missy set down the brush, still looking into the mirror. “We could be friends again, though, right?”

“It's hard to do that when you've forced this on me. Plus I'd have to feed for two, clothe for two, deal with twice the garbage. Not like you can do anything in turn.”

Missy walked out of the bathroom, stopping just in front of Leo. It occurred to him that she was just a hair taller. “You act like we'd be friends just so I could live here.”

“That's definitely what you were getting at.”

“Yeah! It was! But c'mon, you can't just assume the worst of me.”

“What am I supposed to assume of you? You're a— a— thing.” Leo shrugged with a frown. “Who the hell knows what you do.”

“I was a thing back then too, dick.”

“With a hundred other people to keep you in line.” He crossed his arms.

“Good thing we're not there then, huh?” Missy shot back. The two traded glares at one another until Missy sunk lower to the ground. She had been on her tiptoes the whole time. Her size actually came up to about his chin. "Look, just one more day. I really have nowhere else to go." Missy looked up at him, clearly trying her best puppy eyes.

Leo replied with, "How can I be sure that--" Suddenly, the phone rang. He shut his eyes and calmed himself. "I'll be right back." He rushed back to his bed and picked up his cellphone. "Hello?"

"Mr. Davis, good morning. Sorry to bother you on your day off."

"Not at all, Sir, good morning to you too. Is there something you needed?" Leo glanced over to Missy. She began quietly walking over to him. He gave a firm mouthed 'go away' and a frantic wave of the hand. It didn't deter her.

"I'm afraid I do."

"I'll be on my way," Leo replied instantly, already moving to his dresser.

"Hold on now, relax. You don't even know what it's for," the voice said with a chuckle.

"Oh, Leo!" Missy said, cupping her mouth and turning her head. "You gonna come back to bed, sweety?" Leo shot her a glare.

"Excuse me, Mr. Davis. I wasn't aware you had company."

Leo fervently shook his head and awkwardly laughed. "No, no, no, no, not really. What was it you needed, Sir?"

"Please, don't worry about my sake. You've got a lady present, enjoy your day off." Leo glared at Missy again, which she returned with a smile. "I'll call someone else, it's not a problem."

Leo put on his best businesslike voice. "Sir, I assure you, it won't be an issue. Now what is it you require?"

"Leoooooooooo!" Missy cooed. "I'm getting cooooooooold!"

Leo loudly cleared his throat. "Is it filing work? Calling? Perhaps a technical issue?" he asked. "I'm already on my way."

"I suppose it's farewell work. We need someone to make sure an employee is properly erase from the system for his retirement."

"Got it. See you soon, Sir." Before his superior could even reply, Leo hung up and pocketed his phone. "What the hell were you doing?!" he nearly yelled at Missy.

Missy's ears flattened with a wince. "Getting you out of work, jerk. It's Saturday. No bald, fat guy should pull you in."

"What if I lost my job over that?" He put his hands on his hips.

"Well if you lost your job for something so stupid, you probably shouldn't have the damn job in the first place." Fair enough. Not that he would ever even admit that she was right.

"You've got until I get back to leave." He looked at her shirt. "And take that damn thing off. You look like a druggie."

"You would like me to take it off," Missy said, pulling on the neck of the garment.

Leo held his hands up to stop her, but quickly retracted them. "Don't rip the fabric." He turned back to his dresser and started arranging his work clothes neatly on the bed.

"You seriously going out? I did that whole charade. It's Saturday, dude."

"I got that, 'dude', but there's a job to do."

"No, it's someone else's job to do."

"Not if I get there first."

"Whatever." 

Leo looked to Missy. "Do you mind?" he said, picking up a pair of work pants.

"Mind what?"

"I'm getting dressed, you barn animal."

"So?"

"So I'd like some privacy!"

Missy looked down at herself, then pulled the shirt off. The clothing dangled from her hand. "Oh no, looks like I need some privacy too," she said deadpan.

"I don't have fur, if you hadn't noticed." He set the pants down.

"Looks like you're trying your hardest though," she said with a chuckle, pointing at his arm.

Leo scoffed. "No wonder you got kicked out of your last shelter."

"I left."

"Well do me a favor and do it again."

"I already tried to do you a solid."

"One that doesn't screw with work might help better."

They lapsed into silence. Eventually Missy left the room without a word. Clearly it would take more pushing. That would have to wait. For now, Leo had a job to do, and a creature from the woods wasn't about to stop him.  
_

Phone, keys, wallet, briefcase. Leo repeated the set over and over, confirming he had every item on the list and tapping them respectively as he walked to his car. He looked back to his house, almost expecting it to be torn to shreds in the few seconds he was outside. No sign of structural failure yet. He almost considered making sure the door was locked, though whoever decided to break in honestly deserved to deal with Missy. Maybe she could be a guard dog. Leo stepped inside and turned on the vehicle. She almost had the looks for it. Cuter than a guard dog, perhaps. He blinked. Perhaps.

The engine turned on. Leo was off to work. Again. He tried to keep his thoughts focused on the work ahead to no avail. Thoughts kept wandering right back to Missy walking free in his house. Tearing up the place. Making it dirty. Attracting God only knows what. He sighed. It was hard to separate her from that girl he used to play hide and seek with. He gripped the wheel tighter. Where did she go wrong?

The trip to work had been burned into his mind. His driving was entirely on autopilot while his mind took note of every familiar rock and tree along the forested path. It took some time to actually reach some sign of civilization, with the first vestiges of buildings popping up on the road. First it was the traveler's affair, gas stations and rest stops. Then came the more corporate side of the city, the fast food restaurants, the large office buildings, the large stores.

Leo tapped on the steering wheel as he approached his block of an office building. It was a glass block, but a block nonetheless. Should be a smooth process and another success to add to the list. He turned into the parking garage. Missy flashed through his head again as he came to a stop. "Just let the house be there, please, God," he mumbled to himself. He straightened his tie, stepping out of the car like an office worker should.

The interior of the building was as bland as it had always been. Sure, the ground floor had a grand, echoing reception with an array of elevators, but the meat of the building was a maze of carpet, blank white walls, and repetitive art adjacent to fake plants. Despite its repetitious nature, Leo had burned the layout into his mind. He turned left at a particularly generic painting of a forest, and knocked on his superior's door. Someday, Leo would have a varnished door of his own.

"Come in," a voice said. Leo opened the door, finding his boss stuck to his leather chair as usual, and an older man sat just across from him. "Mr. Davis, glad you could come in on such short... insistent notice." Leo nodded, then gave a wave to the older man, who he recognized as a somewhat familiar coworker. He had graying hair and a smile that would put even Leo's best asskissing grin to shame.

"Glad to be here, Mason, Sir," Leo replied. He closed the door behind him, adopting an upright posture.

"Don't give me that, Leo. It's Saturday." Mr. Mason waved dismissively with a smile. "I'm sure you remember Mr. Irons." He presented the older man.

"Cesar is good for the last day, don't you think?" he replied.

"Of course, good to see you," Leo said, trying to remember exactly where it was he had seen Cesar.

"The last you'll see of me, I hope. Thanks for being a good cubicle neighbor!" Cesar said with a smile. Oh, right.

"I try," Leo said, turning back to Mr. Mason. "And what is it you'll need today?"

"Computer stuff. You know the drill. Regular guy is out today, ill." Yeah, I'll bet. "We just need you to remove Mr. Irons from the system."

"Gently, I hope!" Cesar chimed in. 

Leo gave him a faux smile. "Sure, I'll get right on it. If you'll follow me, Mr. Irons."

Cesar stood up. "You guys have top notch service here," he said jokingly. The two retreated into the hall, where Leo was already planning the route out in his head and walking forward. "Thanks for the help, Leo. I thought about doing this Monday, but I thought it would be a nice surprise for the missus, you know?"

"I can only imagine." Time to rot away then. "What have you got planned for retirement?" Leo said automatically.

"I'm gonna go home and lay down. Just never get up."

"What's the wife going to say about that?" Leo asked with a chuckle.

"Well she'll be right by my side. Gonna need it for winter!" Cesar replied. "So how's life going with your girlfriend?"

"Girlfriend?"

"Oh, sorry, was that a secret? Mr. Mason was telling me how you practically tore yourself free from her. Sounded bad. Work that much better?"

"One, I do not have a girlfriend, and two, I'm happy to work whenever it comes my way." Leo refrained from turning around. He opened a door that led into a sea of empty cubicles. "If I had a girlfriend it wouldn't be her," he mumbled under his breath.

"Probably wouldn't be working so much if you did have a gal." Leo looked back at him incredulously. "Just saying." 

"If there's one thing I've learned in my life, it's that you lose more with a woman," Leo said. A part of him couldn't believe he actually said that out loud. Another part of him nodded along in agreement. It was true with Missy, at least. What could she bring to the table in a relationship? Even in a roommate scenario, she couldn't offer up anything aside from hunting rats.

Cesar shook his head. "You'll find the right one eventually. Give it time." Time was the last thing Leo had, but he decided not to push the topic further. They turned into Cesar's cubicle and Leo sat down as he turned on the computer in front of him. It quickly booted up, bringing him to the desktop.

"You should really get into the habit of locking your computer."

"On my last day?"

"Never mind." He started clicking through the system, removing every bit of personal data from over the years, then moving onto the work website proper. "You mind giving me your employee ID?" Cesar handed over the little card. "Thank you."

"So what's she like?"

"Excuse me?"

"The girl you ran from, what's she like?"

"She's... hardly a girl. I don't really want to talk about it."

"Most you've spoken to me and you don't want to talk about it? Come onnnnn"--a finger prodded at Leo's back--"let me have this one thing. I want to know what kind of girl is attracted to the workhorse."

"She's a friend, if you really have to know. Mooching off me and everything I've earned. Last person kicked her out, I guess." Leo's work slowed down ever so slightly as Missy returned to his thoughts.

"Have to make a living somehow."

"That's not how you make a living. You get a job for that," Leo replied, looking back at the older man.

Cesar shrugged. "Hmph, I'd say putting up with you is a good enough job. Not like you spend it on anything else."

"How would you know?"

"Leo, I've seen you come into the office for the past four years with the same shirt, the same pants, the same phone, the same suitcase, and the same smile. You don't buy a thing." Cesar nodded. "See, told you I was your neighbor."

Leo offered no reply, turning his attention back to the computer. Leo stewed his thoughts, keeping himself from yelling back. "Almost done here, then you'll be off." He tapped away at the keyboard a little harder.

"Give her a chance," Cesar said calmly.

"Don't even give me that," Leo said, trying to steady his voice. "She disappears on me and I'm just supposed to--" He sighed. "Forget it." He hit the enter key, blanking the screen. "You're out. Enjoy your freedom." Leo handed the card back to Cesar.

"Sometimes being a friend is all the work in the world, Leo," Cesar replied. Leo didn't shift from the spot. Being a friend is all Missy can do. Did she follow through? Is she currently following through? Who the hell knew what she was doing right this moment.

"Have a good retirement, Cesar."

"Good luck, Leo." There was a firm pat on his shoulder. "Have a good one." There were muffled footsteps, then silence. Another job well done. Leo blinked, then stood up, heading right back to his boss's office. A firm knock on the varnished wood, and he was allowed back in.

"Mr. Davis, that was surprisingly quick," Mr. Mason said, thumbing through documents.

"Will that be all today, Sir?" Leo asked.

"Unless you can point out any other retirees, yes. Thank you again. Go on home and enjoy your day."

"Thank you." If he could at all. "See you tom-- Well, after tomorrow."

"Likewise, Leo. Relax for once." Mr. Mason waved him off.


	3. Chapter 3

Leo pulled into his home, marveling that the windows were still intact. He turned off the engine, and with prayer, walked up to the porch. Hopefully he still had a bed. He brushed some leaves on the railing before heading on in. The house was cheerily quiet, affording him some calm. His attention snapped to the kitchen. The fridge was ever so slightly open. With a grumble, Leo marched over, shutting it closed. That was when he noticed the crumbs scattered on his table. The mark of a true friend.

A faint sound buzzed from Leo's bedroom. His fantasy shattered. That was it. There was reality calling to him. Leo walked into his room to find a familiar dark character relaxing on his bed, on his computer, with his earbuds, under his sheets-- If he listed any more, he might have an aneurysm. She was facing away from him, not noticing his approach. Though he doubted she would even acknowledge him either way.

"Hey!" he called out. Missy perked up for a moment, but eased back into the bed. Leo moved up to the bed and tapped her on the shoulder. Missy calmly stopped the video, then turned around. There was a pause, then a sly smile.

"So, d'you do what you needed to at work there, Leo?" Missy asked, pulling the earbuds out of her ears. Those were going straight to the trash. Leo was quick to realize the orange crumbs that trailed from her mouth, down her chest, and onto his sheets. Yeah. Mhmm. Perfect.

Leo nodded. "You could say that, yeah." He stared at the picture before him for a moment. "Didn't I ask you to leave before I got back?"

"I didn't know how long that would take. I look like some kinda psychic?"

"No, you look like a leech to me."

"I don't have the teeth for that." Missy hooked a finger into her mouth, pulling back her mouth an absurd amount to reveal all of her sharp ivory.

Leo held a hand up and winced. "Well, I'm back now. Time for you to leave." He pointed.

"You're still on that?" She rolled onto her back. "Where do you expect me to go, Leo? The zoo? Maybe I can live under a bridge like a troll? Scare the local kids for food?"

"Should've thought about that before you screwed up with your other bunkmates, huh?"

Missy frowned, nearly baring her fangs. "That wasn't just me, OK? I already fucking told you." She shifted on the bed. "How about some common decency for a friend?"

"What do you mean for a friend?! Point to the goddamn friend in this picture because I can't find them!" Leo pointed to himself. "I should be crowned a Saint for letting you stay a night!"

"Fine!" Missy shot up, crumbs trailing down her body. "What can I do to make this better? What do I need to do get you off my back?"

"Leave." 

"That's not an option, Leo. I need to do something to live here." Her expression eased off anger and onto annoyance. "What do you need?"

"Do I look like I need anything?" Leo replied.

"A life, Leo."

"Don't act cute."

"So what, I just can't stay? Nothing I can possibly do? I can clean up or something! There has to be one thing."

"I'm perfectly capable of cleaning. I have good hands after all."

"Low blow, prick," Missy said, turning her head. "Look. I need to stay here." Her expression relaxed and she sighed. "If you wanna fuck or something, I'll do it."

Leo jerked back, both insulted by the offer and baffled. "Missy, there's not a chance in hell that's happening."

"What? Are you serious?"

"I've been serious this whole damn time!"

"You get a girl willing to fuck and you don't even jump on the offer. I didn't think you were gay."

Leo shook his head. "Missy. I'm tired of this. I want to lay down. I don't want you here."

Missy crawled over to him and placed her hands on his chest. "I'm good with my mouth, honest!"

"Missy," he said solemnly.

"Leo, come on! Just a few more days!" Missy shook him. Leo looked into her eyes. Those inky black pits stared back at him. In their depths there was a spattering of green. She did have green eyes when she was younger, didn't she? "Leo?" Missy shook him again. "Leo, please!" Leo sighed and placed his hands on her wrists, pulling her distended hands off of him. Look at her. What a mess. Her fur was surprisingly softer than he expected, however.

Leo prepared himself for what he was about to say. Saint? I should be the pope. "Missy. Can I get a promise from you?" he said calmly but firmly. "No jokes. No lies. I need a promise."

Missy looked down at his hands, then back up to him. "What is it?"

"You need to listen to what I say. This is the only way it's going to work."

She furrowed her brow and smiled. "You're gonna make me your sex sl--" Leo frowned. Missy snapped her maw shut. "And? Then I can stay?"

"That's entirely up to how you act." This wasn't going to work at all. "Now, can you please clean this up and get off my bed?"

Missy looked down at herself, then the bed. "Oh. Oh sure thing boss." She turned around and placed her hand on the bed, then started sweeping the crumbs off.

"Stop!" Leo paused to collect himself. "Please use the brush and dustpan in the kitchen." Missy gave a sheepish nod and scampered off. He watched her shift from a crouched gait to a more human one as she left. This was like training a dog, right? A very annoying dog. Leo sat down on his bed and rubbed his eyes. There was a dull bang and a 'Whoopsie!' Did she really still say that? Not like you would know, he told himself. She's been gone for a long time. Too long.

Missy ran back in, almost skipping as she rounded the bed and daintily brushed up her mess. It was sloppy, but it would have to do. There was an odd feeling of exploitation as he realized he was having a naked runaway woman clean up the mess. He'd have to order her clothes. "How's that? Huh? Am I good maid or what?" Missy said.

"Or what," Leo replied. Missy grumbled. "Toss that out." He looked back to the doorway. "You get the couch." There was a clatter. Leo turned around to see what it was, but was instantly smothered in fuzzy fur. An odd bark sounded through him from her.

"Oh wow! See, I knew you were the guy! I knew we'd still be friends! Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is gonna be great!" Leo tapped on her side, causing her to pull back. "What a cool guy, Leo Lion! That's you!" He looked to the ground to find the cleaning implements discard and the crumbs spattered on the floor. Leo pointed at the brush and dustpan. "Oops." Missy cleaned up her second mess.

"Don't screw it up." Leo looked directly into Missy's eyes. "Please."

"Don't worry about it. I got this."

"I need to change."

"Yeah, I was thinking that. You are a little mean."

"Clothes, Missy."

"Oh. Ohhhhhhh." Missy nodded. "Privacy, right. I'll give you that." She totted out of the room, politely closing the door behind her with a smile. Leo collapsed on his bed, trying to ignore the horrible choice he just made. The man rolled onto his side to look at his computer. Still seemed intact at least. Listening to music on Youtube? Really? Leo shut his laptop, then rounded up the earbud cables. Once that was done, he quietly stowed the tainted tech away under his bed and fell back to the bed. He didn't even have the energy to bother undressing. He closed his eyes.  
_

Leo woke up to find his room surprisingly untouched. The light in the room hadn't changed much, so he must've not have been out for too long. He looked over to the door. While his body wanted to move, what could he really do? Missy wasn't someone he wanted to deal with right now, especially since he had just given her free reign to live here. With him. How are you going to whip that carnivore into shape? Treats? Dog whistle? Sex? Leo shook his head. Don't be stupid. He couldn't do that.

It wasn't as though Missy were ugly. She had always been cute in her own way, despite her more... extreme features. It just felt wrong. She was too familiar, not quite family but on the periphery of a big part of his life. It was too big, actually. Leo rubbed his arm. He sat up quickly. Plus, she wasn't human. Who would even have a go at her like that? Well, if she was so easy to offer it, then... The thought annoyed him. Not only that she would offer it, but someone would take it. Better that she was here then, right? Fuck. Maybe it was.

Leo stood up and shuffled over to the door. This was becoming a bad routine. He peeked through to find Missy on the couch, watching television. Her head snapped back at him and she waved. Leo quickly shut the door, along with his eyes. That was going to take some time to get used to. Thank Christ she couldn't use door knobs. So what now? Actually try and be personable or sit in your room and do nothing? Both were terrible options. His stomach rumbled. It dawned on him that he skipped breakfast, lunch, and was now hurtling toward dinner. Reality was always there to push him back into line.

Calmly opening the door, Leo strode out into the hallway. He made sure to close the door. "So you got anything planned for dinner?" Missy said, not turning her attention from the visual drug in front of her. So now she was a mind reader too.

"Not particularly," Leo replied.

"What kinda man are you?"

"A slim one." Leo walked over to the kitchen. He noticed Missy was watching some cheesy action movie from the 90's. Lord above help him if she decided to started mimicking anything she saw on television. Leo opened the fridge to find it surprisingly untouched, though that made sense since most of the easily consumable junk food was stowed away in cabinets. He looked through his array of foods and settled on making a simple sandwich for now. Nothing to fancy lest it catches Missy's attention. Leo set out the ingredients and turned around, nearly jumping out of his skin as he did so. Missy was there, already examining him. "Christ," Leo said, placing a hand on his chest.

"Your hearing is that bad, huh?" Missy replied, looking over at his ingredients.

"Don't give me a heart attack. You're already taking years off my life." Leo shook his head and returned to his meal making.

"What'cha got there?" Missy said, sidling up to him. "Sandwich? Looking good."

"Unless you can make one, you're not getting one."

"Psh, I'm not hungry. Already went through your box of cheezits." Leo shut his eyes and struggled to keep his mouth shut. "Nah, I just wanna see what you're doing," Missy said.

"There's a flatscreen over there you're neglecting." Leo pointed back. He started slathering up the bread with condiments.

"I've seen Escape from New York ten times already, I can deal with it. Cool stereo system by the way. I thought you were a super square, but that's some good gear."

"Yeah?" Leo said mindlessly, focusing on the sweet release of food.

"You're gonna put muenster on that?" Missy asked, her large finger pointing at and coming dangerously close to his food.

"Yes. Yes I am." Leo continued. He nudged the plate away from her. 

Missy leaned in. "Ham too? Haven't you heard of turkey? I know you're not poor. You can afford the stuff."

Leo calmly placed his butter knife down. "Why are you here, exactly?"

"Hey, woah, I was just over here to check on my good friend Leo." She placed his hands on his shoulders. He watched her spindly fingers drape over his chest. "My savior."

"Savior Leo would just like to get a little food right now, OK?" he replied with a half baked smile.

Missy withdrew her hands, holding them up. "Sure, sure, no problem. As you wish, master." Leo's brow twitched, but he didn't want to keep the dialogue going. She walked off and hopped back on the couch. Hop with a capital H, as she slammed back onto it like a child. She could at least act her age. Leo finished up the rest of his meal just as his stomach growled again. He picked up the plate and turned around.

Wait. Where would he eat? The bedroom was out of the question. Crumbs would somehow materialize on the sheets. Living room? His eyes wandered over to Missy, who yawned. With her around? He might lose his appetite. His vision flicked over to the hallway. Bathroom it is, then. Leo chided himself for the stupid joke and walked over to the lounging chair. It was comfortable distance away from the couch, allowing him a modicum of relaxation.

It felt odd to watch TV out in the living room, even odder to have someone else commenting on it. "Just think, this guy was in Overboard," Missy said. Whatever that meant. Leo quietly munched away at his food as he watched action filled nonsense wash over the screen. "You know, the movie where the woman loses her memory?" And munching. "Then he tricks her into thinking she's his wife?" And munching. "You remember, for revenge?" And munching. "God, have you seen anything?"

"This is all garbage," Leo said in-between bites. 

"Nuh-uh," Missy said. She tossed a pillow at him that missed and fell to the floor.

"Pick that up." 

"Ugh. Do you have a single fun bone in your body?" Missy stomped over and swiped up the pillow. She gave him a stare and stomped back.

"I do when I'm not babysitting."

"Didn't we used to watch movies together all the time as kids? Remember? On DVD? I hope you remember that at least."

"I remember how much of a pain it was to watch anything because you'd have to sit through a hundred trailers." Leo leaned back in the chair.

Missy gasped. "That was the best part! You could get excited for so many things!"

"I don't watch movies for trailers, I watch them for movies."

"I bet you go to a movie theater exactly when the showing starts."

Leo looked over at her. "No, I don't. Movie theaters are miserable." His brow furrowed. "Plus, how do you know? Who would let you into a movie theater?"

"Side doors exist, you know."

Leo shook his head. "Figures. That's just like you."

"I would've bought a ticket if I could!" Another pillow flew across the room. "What do you expect me to do, beg on the street? Hello! One ticket to the research lab please!"

"No one would want to examine you, believe me. You'd annoy them to death." He paused. "Pick that up."

Missy strangely crawled over to the pillow, grabbed it, and rested on her knees. "Can't you say one nice thing about me?" she huffed. Leo tilted his head in confusion. "I mean, how am I supposed to be a better person if you keep putting me down, huh?" She hit his leg with the fluffy bedding.

"Easy!" He grabbed his plate off his lap. Leo looked down at her. That was fair, he guessed, but what was he supposed to say? You have surprisingly nice fur for a cryptid? Your teeth could shear through metal? You probably scare children pretty well? "You were a good friend." He frowned, did he say that? Missy's face turned into an excited smile that went a little too far. "Don't take that too seriously."

Missy scooted closer. "Go on, say more."

"That's all I've got," Leo said before taking another bite of sandwich.

"No fair!" Missy's expression soured. "I need at least one for the present!"

"Missy, let me ask you something."

"Shoot."

"When's the last time you did something good for someone else?"

"I cleaned--"

Leo held up his hand. "Without them asking you to do it."

Missy frowned and pulled the pillow to her chest. "You just want me to do stuff for you."

"No, but I do think it's fair in your position. What can I expect out of this relationship?"

Missy's demented smile quickly returned and she leaned forward. "So I'm like your wife now, right? Could you get me an apron at least?" She clasped her hands together and mock swooned. "I'll get your scrambled eggs in the morning and send you off with a kiss. Mwah. Just like when we played house!"

"You don't strike me as the marrying type, Missy," Leo replied. He was going to add 'worn out down there' too, but figured she didn't deserve that much of an insult. Still, he had to admit the faint memory of playing with plastic utensils with her was a fairly happy one. Unfortunately it made the current Missy seem all the worse.

"Who knows what kind of type I am? Heck if I know either." Missy shrugged, turning her attention back to the television. "It'd be nice to find out." Leo decided not to direct her back to the couch. The poor upholstery had already taken on its fair share of fur for the day.

Leo quietly finished off his food and promptly cleaned the dish afterward. Missy was still stuck to the television. Well, it seemed TV did have its benefits. Thank you, automated babysitter. Leo slunk off back into the hallway, past his bedroom, and into what was originally a guest room. Now it was more of an exercise room, with weights, an all too fancy stationary bicycle, and other miscellaneous junk that he could fit in. He took a moment to appreciate all the things his job could buy him, then moseyed on over to the bicycle.

A loud, televised explosion rang out in the other room. Leo shook his head. He briefly considered closing the door, but who knows what she'd get up to without supervision. He took a rag and wiped down the seat, then shrugged and wiped down the rest of the bike too. Nice and clean. Stepping over the thing, he parked himself on the seat and started mindlessly peddling. There was a screen on the bike that offered him a wealth of options from simulating real trails to monitoring how many calories he burned. None of that mattered, however, and he kept peddling on.

Random gunshots and explosions continued to sound off in the other room. If Leo didn't know any better, he might've assumed a full scale war was going on in the living room. Was the sound system really that loud? It was the first time he had ever heard it from here. The first time he had guests, really. It was a good thing that the closest neighbors were a good half mile away, otherwise there would be little reason not for them to call the police on the sudden shootout across the way. Whatever, as long as she was distracted, it was fine. Just keep peddling.

Leo leaned forward and grabbed onto the handlebars. What to do with her? What was the end goal, really? You can't just fix her and put her back on the streets, Leo thought to himself. Missy was, in short, perfectly suited for staying at home. Could he blame her for being a leech? He nodded. She could be a nice leech. People used them as medicine and even as pets. Missy definitely had no medicinal properties and certainly wasn't a pet.

You could make her better, sure, but you would have to keep her forever or... make her leave again. His grip tightened on the bars. You don't know what kind of deal you just sealed yourself, buddy. The last one to seal the deal at that. No doubt the others were more accepting of her "bartering". Leo's mind cheekily pictured her in a less than proper scenario, legs open. His bicycling sped up.

Missy was at best, a loser friend, and at worst, a very annoying sloth. Sex with either of those was probably second to last on his list, just right above prostitutes. That's not to say she was repulsive, just that she was a detour away from human. A detour with a lot of potholes and tolls on it. Whoever she was staying with before must've been horribly desperate, lonely people. Leo blinked and looked around the room. Isn't that you? No, I'm not desperate. Oh, great, that's miles better.

Leo sighed and slowed down. Only then did he realize that world war three was no longer being held in his living room. "I was wondering what was in here!" Missy said from behind him. His head slouched. "Think we can get some handle doorknobs?" Leo slouched.

"What is it?" he asked, still trooping on. His legs were starting to feel a bit of that burn, or maybe that was just the presence of Missy.

"I'm just hangin' out, catching the scene."

"You found it. Here's the happening place. The exercise room," he said sarcastically. If only this bike actually moved.

Missy walked over to him, hefting up one of his weights. "You know, I didn't realize you exercised. Legit, I thought you sat at a computer all day. The slow dying way."

"Is that a compliment?"

"Uh, sure, yeah." Missy hefted up the weight with an exaggerated strain. It was then that he realized it was a ten pound dumbbell. "You got some tone to you." Her other hand squeezed his arm, much to his disapproval. "Not like the other guys at all."

"You already got the couch, Missy. Not much more I can give," he said, still biking on.

"Ugh." She bent over and set down the dumbbell. "Can you stop assuming I want something from you every time we talk?"

"You came to my house in the middle of the night begging to stay and you haven't given anything in return. What am I supposed to assume?" Leo shrugged and slowed down.

Missy shook her head. "Dude, what am I supposed to give? I already asked if you wanted to fuck, but noooooooo, you're too stuck up for that."

"Well, like I said, I don't need anything, so when you come to me it makes sense you want something."

"What if I just wanna catch up? It's been how many years and here you are with a bike up your ass, ignoring me."

Leo came to a halt. "I barely know you anymore, Missy! It's like you're a completely different person, and I'm just supposed to go along with that? With... whatever you are now?" Missy's eyes slightly widened. He sized her up before quietly returning to his biking.

Missy rounded the bike, crossed her arms, and placed them on the monitor. Her expression became downcast. "I guess we didn't start off right."

Leo looked straight ahead past her. "No, we didn't."

"Is 'I'm an idiot' a good excuse?"

"Not really." He sighed. "This is just like when you left the first time."

"Look"--she cast her eyes away--"I didn't think it would hit you that hard. I was just bored of the place."

There was a long pause until Leo asked, "Bored of me?" He stopped.

"No. Leo, I wanted to check out something new. Away from the town."

"Could've asked. I might've gone with you."

"I need my alone time too. Or did, when I was dumber." She scratched her head.

Leo shook his head. "Whatever. You think it's just fine for you to barge back in and try to be all buddy buddy?"

Missy sighed. "Leo, I still like you. I've always liked you. If I didn't, I wouldn't be here."

"Yeah? You went to the other guys first because you liked me so much, right?" Leo asked. He thought on that for a moment. She really did choose them over him.

"And how was I supposed to get to you first? Out of all of the guys back home, you're the only one who left the whole state." She held up her hand and waved it. "Gone."

Leo looked at her. "Alright." He looked down at the screen in front of him. "Sorry."

Missy pulled back. "Wow."

"Wow what?"

"Never expected you to say that."

"Missy." Leo frowned.

"My bad. You uh, want me to leave now?" Missy asked.

Leo had no response. He wasn't entirely sure what to say.

"I'll be going. Catch me on the couch if you need me, OK?" Missy said, retreating out of his vision.

Leo returned to his biking, a little more vigorously than before.


	4. Chapter 4

The day continued without much incident. Leo finished his exercise and retired to his room with a book to read. Missy was content eating up everything that the television spewed out, that was until, she came knocking upon his door. "Yo, Leo, you still awake?" she asked.

"It's only 6, Missy," he said, turning a page. So that's why they're called sperm whales. Huh. "What do you want?"

"Open the door, let's talk face to face."

Leo rolled his eyes and stood up. He walked over to the door and opened it. "Yes?"

"Hey, cool, what'cha reading?"

"A book on whale pods. Now what is it?"

"Cool, cool," she said, nodding a little too quickly. "Now uh, I know I told you that you shouldn't think I always want something, but, I really need something right now." She shifted on the spot.

Leo turned his head curiously. She was polite to ask for once? "What is it?"

"I need your laptop, super, super quick. Please?" She stepped closer. "Believe me, I just need it."

"Are you alright?"

"Not really, OK? This super sucks right now." She bared her teeth, lips quivering. "I just need it. I'm going to lose it if I don't. I'll give it right back. I promise."

"You mind telling me what you need it for?" Leo asked. He had to know now.

"If I tell you, I might fucking die from embarrassment. Just hand it over."

Leo pursed his lips. "Alright, fine." He turned around, only to be nearly pushed over to the side. Missy absconded with his laptop near instantly, slamming the door after her.

"Don't open that door!" she yelled. Leo annoyedly marched up to the door and quickly stopped. Whatever it was, it must've been important. She didn't toss a snide remark his way, nor a stupid joke. He carefully placed his ear up to the door. "Don't open it!" she yelled again, causing him to instantly back off.

"What for?" he yelled back. God, now he was doing it too.

"Shut up!" There was a cackling growl. The door handle stuck out, begging him to open it. Another pained growl came. No, it was probably for the best that it remained closed. He shuffled back over to his bed and tried to return to reading.

Whales travel all around the world with-- "Augh!" Many whales will exhibit familial-- "Yes!" Ahem. There's heavy evidence to suggest that whales once. A near shriek pierced through the air, causing Leo to nearly drop his book in surprise. It was like a crying fox being stepped on. Leo set his book down and moved back up to the door. Missy suddenly banged on the door. "Alright, you can have it back now."

Leo cautiously opened the door, half expected Missy to be covered in blood. "Here you go," she said, handing over his computer. It seemed to be in one complete piece, which was far more than he expected.

"Thanks." Leo took the laptop back and looked over Missy. Her hair was more ruffled than usual, but otherwise she seemed fine. Maybe breathing a little too quickly. "Everything go--"

"Yes, everything was fine. Go back to your fish book." She pushed the door shut again. Leo looked down at the computer in his hands. It felt filthy now. He had half a guess as to what she used it for. Demented curiosity pushed him back to the bed and sent him exploring through the computer. He glanced into the history and... nothing. Missy was smart enough to delete every trace of evidence off of it. She truly was a modern day monster. Leo shut the thing up and set it aside to be cleaned later. 

Leo glanced back up at the door. That was a little too sudden to be just a flare of arousal. Was she OK? If she wasn't, what was he going to do about it? He didn't need a sick leech, after all. Yes, that was the only reason. Hospitals weren't an option, and he didn't know any actual health professionals. The man got up and peeked through the door again. There was something pathetic about peeping out into the living room like a scared child in his own home. Be an adult. With a preparatory breath, Leo stepped out into the hall and walked over to the couch. Missy was back to lounging, as if nothing ever happened.

"Sup dude?" she said lazily.

"You alright?" Leo asked, focusing on the television. Real mature.

Missy stretched and flicked the channel. "Yeah, bored though. You see this shit on TV? Reruns far as the eye can see."

"What about earlier? With the computer?"

"Dude, you don't ask a girl something like that."

"Something like what?"

Missy sat up. Leo looked at her. "You don't ask a girl about her horny moments."

Leo stifled a laugh. "A girl's what?"

"What are you, twelve? You need a lesson?"

"I guess I do!" Leo said, crossing his arms. It was hard to wipe the amused smile off his face.

"I knew you were a virgin. Look, girls have needs sometimes. Otherwise it starts to hurt."

"Missy, no--" Normal was a bad word. "Human women don't get that."

Missy frowned. "What do you mean?"

"That's not part of human anatomy."

The monster looked away at the television with a frown. "Are you sure about that?"

"Absolutely."

"What about in porn--" Her eyes widened. "Those fucks were lying to me!"

"You think the pizza guy gets paid in sex too?" Missy raised a hand in annoyance.

"Missy flattened her ears. "This is weird." She leaned back. "I thought that was just a thing every girl got."

"What gave you that idea?"

"I don't have much reference, OK?!" Missy said a little too loudly. Leo's smile started to drop. "Fuck. Do you know every single one of them said that was normal?"

"Uh, who said that?" Leo said, sitting down on the arm of the couch. His expression hardened.

Missy tossed an arm up. "All those motherfuckers I stayed with!" She looked back to Leo, teeth starting to bare. "I feel so damned stupid. God, I'd hit them if I could. Fucking... Ugh."

The amusing nature of the situation dropped severely. Leo was almost as annoyed as she was, or so he assumed. He sat down next to her. For once, he actually felt bad. Though for once, this wasn't exactly her fault. "If it makes you feel any better, you can use my laptop to, you know--" He cleared his throat.

Missy inhaled sharply and turned to Leo angrily before dropping the fury. "Thanks." She slumped and rubbed her face. "God, I can't believe they would do that. I mean, yeah, we agreed to do it, but... it feels like they were doing a service." Stop making me feel so bad, damnit. Leo Inched over and carefully patted her on the back. "You're a dick, but at least you're honest," she grumbled. Leo decided to let that comment slide.

"I guess that's something," he said. Leo continued to pat her for quite some time as she moped.

"OK, OK, stop patting me like I'm a damn dog," Missy said as she sat upright. Leo quickly retracted his hand. "Thanks, though."

"Just forget about them. They fucked up and now they don't have you."

Missy smiled. That stupid smug grin. "I'm that desirable, huh?"

Leo sighed. "Let's just say it's a whole hell of a lot more interesting to have whatever you are around. That doesn't change the fact that you're a drain, though."

"An honest dick and a cool leech. We make quite the team," Missy replied, patting his shoulder. Not even in his niceties could he get a single break. "I'm surprised you think I'm that stupid."

Leo pulled back. "What?"

"You know, I had access to the internet. It's not hard to figure out what's human stuff and uh 'me' stuff."

"Are you serious, Missy?" Leo's expression soured.

"What? Gosh, sorry. I thought it would be nice to have some sympathy for once!" Missy said, smiling.

"Whatever, I'm going to make dinner." Leo stood up and walked over to the kitchen. Shouldn't have fucking bothered.

Missy yelled after him, "Can we have pizza?"

"We're having beef stew."

"I don't do liquids," Missy yelled back. She lay back down.

"We are having beef stew." He opened the cupboards and started laying out the ingredients.

"Why don't you just call us a pizza? Twenty minutes or it's free."

"They haven't done that in years, Missy."

"I'm sure the honest dick could scare the pizza boy into it. You sure won't be fucking him, I hope."

"Don't call me that, and sure as hell don't ever suggest that again." Why did you even bother trying to be nice?

"Alright, Leo Lion. Soup it is."

"Stew. There's a complete difference between them."

"No there isn't, don't be stupid. Stew is soup and soup is stew. They're water in bowls with other junk in them."

"Never mind," Leo mumbled. Heat. Water. Stock. Meat and vegetables.

"I'll have that bag of chips instead," Missy said. "Got any salsa?"

"You're having the stew or nothing at all."

"OK, Mom."

It took some time, but Leo got the cooking into gear. As much as he didn't want to admit it, Leo was somewhat excited that someone else would try his cooking for once. Who knew how Missy tasted things, though. For all he knew, she probably had the tongue of a dog and the palate of a opossum. All things considered, it was probably the first time she had anything remotely healthy in years. Another checkmark on the path to sainthood, Leo figured.  
_

Leo set two bowls out on the table. They were filled with a good helping of his own homemade stew. 'Dinner is ready' sounded too casual. "Food," Leo called out, and sure enough, Missy wandered over to the table and placed her hands on it, splaying out those creepy fingers. "Don't do that. Sit down, please." He pointed at an empty chair across from him, where he positioned the bowl.

"Ooh, 'please', that's a new one," Missy said, looking into the bowl. 

"No it isn't." Leo sat down and started eating. Not bad. Probably could've used a bit more salt, but he felt the meat and vegetables turned out perfectly.

Missy looked up at him. "Not gonna say grace?" She dipped a finger into the bowl and sampled it.

"You've never said grace in your life." Not even when the old folks would force you to, he added silently. He briefly imagined Missy back in that crummy seat, sat in front of a helping of potato mash, bib fastened around her neck even though she was nearing ten. Leo's thoughts returned back to reality. She probably needed the bib now more than ever. "Eat." Missy awkwardly grabbed her spoon and dipped it in the bowl. He carefully watched her reaction as she took her first sip.

"Hey, that's not bad." Leo's spirits lifted up. "I'm gonna have more." Missy let the spoon clatter to the table and quickly picked up the bowl and started downing the meal like a delusional frat chugger. Leo's spirits promptly fell down the drain. Missy gargled something incomprehensible from her wild consumption and lowered the bowl back down with a loud 'ah'. "Good stuff. Got anymore?"

"Could you never do that again?" Leo asked, watching what remained of his culinary art glisten down her chin.

Missy smiled. "What's wrong? It just means I loved it."

"Half of it is now in your fur."

"That just means it's stored away for later," Missy replied. Leo couldn't help but wince at that statement.

"Are you going to need a shower?" Leo asked. At first he meant it as an insult, but it quickly turned to a real question.

Missy tilted her head. "Oh yeah, guess I should. Been a while."

"Pick a towel and stick to it. It's yours. Also dry yourself off in the bath before you step out."

"Man, you act like I'm twelve." Not far off, apparently. "I know I agreed to being your slave, but could you ease up?"

"What do you mean, ease up? That's common courtesy! Anyone would do that."

"Hey, watch it, your stew is getting cold." Missy pointed at his bowl. Leo annoyedly took another spoonful. "Do you dry before you get out of the tub?"

"Yes."

"Oh." Missy's expression dropped, as if she really wasn't expecting him to say that. The cheeky grin quickly returned, however. "How about we make a challenge? It's a good one."

Leo considered stopping her right there on the spot, but honestly he wanted to see what dumb thing she would say next on the parade of annoyances. "Shoot," he replied, taking another spoonful.

"OK, so I know how you're a super prude, straight out of Catholic school, right?" Leo furrowed his brow and set down his spoon. "So here's the thing, if I can get you to sleep with me, you stop with the constant rules. That sound good?"

"What makes you think I'd agree to that?"

"Well duh, I'll stop bugging you about stuff if you win!" She started eyeing his bowl, and he quickly returned to eating it.

"I wouldn't trust you to do that."

"Not like it would be a problem because you're not gonna do it anyways, right?" She fluttered her eyes. Unfortunately, instead of looking cute, her wide eyes made it seem like she was getting ready to kill him. "Right?"

Leo shrugged. "Guess you're right."

Missy loudly clapped her hands together. "Right!" Her fingers curled around her palms. Eesh. "This is gonna be fun. Just you wait." Her eyes narrowed. "You're gonna wish you said no."

"No, I don't think I will," Leo said. Missy's eyes flicked to his food again. "You gonna take that shower any time soon?"

The beast snapped away. "Oh right. I should do that." She paused and stared at him before quickly dipping a finger into his bowl, licking the finger, and dashing off. "Bon apetit!" she yelled out. Leo grumbled and stared at the ruined meal. He should've seen that coming. The man tentatively dipped his spoon back in. Did she wash her hands after she was done with... that? He pulled the spoon back up to eye level. God, he hoped she did. He took a bite, not wanting to let good food go to waste. Next time he'd have to make something more solid.

With bated breath, Leo finished the rest of his stew, hoping that he wouldn't get some yet unseen disease alien to mankind. Poor suckers that screwed her probably had no end to whacky diseases, and now she wanted to do the same to him. Who did she think she was? Yeah, I'll get down to fuck you. No idea where you've been for over a decade but it should be cool, right? Sure, I had no plans this afternoon, only mindless sex. Leo placed his bowl in the sink and began to wash it. He supposed it was hard to blame her. It was still glaringly apparent she provided almost nothing meaningful other than a distraction from life's meandering pace. Sex was basically one step further. Still, the fact that she even considered it was--Leo stopped his scrubbing--It was difficult to accept, to say the least.

It was then that Leo realized the shower had shut off and he heard the bathroom door opened. Missy came around the corner and immediately started jabbering again. "Ahh, nothing like a good shower to work out all the bugs out of your fur," Missy said. Leo kept his eyes on the sink, but couldn't help shaking his head. "You think you could get some coconut shampoo?" She tottered a little closer to him. It was at that point he noticed she wrapped a towel around her body, then another one done up in her hair. Seriously?

"Coconut? Why coconut?" Leo asked.

"It's good for the fur and feels great."

Leo glanced over at her, noticing she was still damp. With the water shining off of her, she looked almost oily. "You're getting water all over the floor. Use the hair dryer."

"Uh, hello!" Missy stomped up next to him and waved her distended hands in front of him. "Does it look like I can use a hair dryer, genius?"

"Fine." Leo set the bowl down carefully but firmly. "Fine." He dried his hands. "Fine."

"You broke or something?"

"Let's dry you off before you leave a puddle in your wake."

Missy smiled. "Gee, I thought all girls left a puddle behind when they're with you."

Leo rolled his eyes. "Go."

"Alright, alright, jeez." Leo followed her into the bathroom. Probably the last room he expected to share with her. He dug around in the bathroom cabinet and pulled out a hair dryer, plugging it into the wall soon after. "You know, your hair is shorter than it used to be." Missy ran a finger through his hair. "I kinda liked it longer."

"Nobody else does, so it stays short." Leo flicked the thing on, and it came roaring to life. "Take off the towels so we can get started."

"Gosh, I've been waiting for you to say that," Missy said, fluttering her eyes. She ran her hands down her body, then let the towel slide off of her. "Mmh, that good?" she said, biting her lip.

"You really shouldn't annoy someone with a heavy metal object in their hand."

"Prude." She set the towel on the counter, then put the one on her head next to it. "Ready." Leo nodded and started to dry off Missy. It was surprising how fine and short her fur was, but it managed to cover her entirely. Almost hard to believe she was anything other than fur. A modern day Cousin Itt.

"The heat and power OK?" Leo asked. He grew a little braver and started gently running his fingers across the fur where he dried, making sure not a drop of moisture remained.

"Your hands are OK." Leo didn't bother with a response. "Sorry, yeah. That's good. Been a while since I got a dry, so, thanks. Really."

"You can thank me by behaving." Missy seemed to get the message and shut her maw. Leo continued to dry her. Her fur was a whole hell of a lot softer than he expected for something like her. Something that had massive teeth and large bounding limbs. He let his free hand return to his side as he went over her chest. Definitely didn't need any gags about that. Still, he made sure he was doing a good job and examined her closely for any trace of moisture. That was when he realized even her skin was also a near pitch black. Two nubs peeked out of her endless void of fur as he went over her breasts.

"Easy, that tickles," Missy said, in-between choking groans of what he could only assume was laughter. As casually as he could, Leo shifted the hair dryer away, only briefly lingering on her crotch before shutting the thing off. The bestial woman smoothed out her fur. "Warm and cozy." Leo set the dryer down just as he was assaulted with a gripping hug. A hug that wrapped all the way around him like a straitjacket. "Thanks again, Mr. Lion," she hummed. He was a little too stunned to reply. She pulled loose and watched him.

"You're welcome," he said after some time. Leo put away the dryer. The beast still stood there. "Yes?" Missy didn't budge. She placed a finger on her chin, which looked goofy with her proportions. "Hello?" Missy reached out with her other hand, placing her hand on his scalp and gently rubbing him. He furrowed his brow, completely confused. "What are you doing?" Missy hummed for a moment. She looked as though she were in some sort of trance. This continued on for a moment longer, then she suddenly pulled away causing him to flinch.

"See you later," Missy said, scampering off. The television turned off soon after. Leo looked back and shook his head. Could've been worse, he supposed.


	5. Chapter 5

"OK!" Missy started. "Bedtime!" She was sitting on his bed, holding one of his pillows.

"Right, so head on over to the couch," Leo replied, motioning back at the living room.

"Nope. You already forgot about our deal? I get you to sleep with me! It's part of the challenge, c'mon." She patted the bed down, beckoning him over.

Leo's eyes narrowed. That definitely wasn't part of the challenge, but he wasn't going to bother arguing with her logic. "Fine, but you better take up the couch when you fail."

"Sure, suuuuuuure." Missy nodded slowly. "Will do, buddy. You got it." Leo hesitantly sat down on the side of the bed, taking up as much of the edge as he could. "So how about some TV before bed?"

"Didn't you watch that all day?" Leo asked, pulling the sheets over him. Normally he wouldn't sleep with a shirt on, but he felt vulnerable with Missy in the same bed as him, as embarrassing as that thought was.

"What? You really just lay here"--she lay back and looked up at the ceiling--"and just wait to sleep?" She looked over at him. "Boring, dude. Boring."

"Light from the TV messes with your--"

"Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah."

"Fine, watch your television. Only going to make it harder for you."

Missy gladly flicked on the television. "So, I was thinking," she started. "How about we make it a little more... interesting?"

Leo peeked over at her. "What? What do you mean by that?"

"I was thinking." She scooted over to him. The white of her eyes glinted in the television light. Eesh. "How about, say, at ten, I get thirty minutes to get you to sleep with me."

"And? That only makes it even harder for you, idiot," Leo replied.

Missy waved a hand. "Sure, sure, but I wanted to add another layer to the deal."

"What? I get even more out of this? Perfect." He rolled his eyes.

"Mhmm. You get to do whatever rules you want, but"--she held up a finger--"if I win, I get to sleep in this bed whenever I want." She smiled. "That sound good?"

Leo shrugged. "Sure, but you can't force me."

"Yeah."

"And you can't pull my clothes off."

"Perish the thought."

"And you don't pull out of the deal."

"Me? A coward? That's pretty mean, dude."

"It's a deal then," Leo replied. Missy stuck her hand out for a shake, Leo promptly turned back over. 

An annoyed smack came down on his shoulder. "What's a deal if you don't shake on it?"

"I already gave my word. I won't go back on it."

Missy giggled. "You better," she breathed into his ear, sending chills down his spine.

Leo swatted back at the air. "Don't do that again," he said, rubbing his ear.

"I'm just getting you ready for the full course, dear."

So the pair lay there in bed. Missy was back on her television while Leo stared at the wall, waiting for the clock to hit ten. Occasionally he would sneak a peek at the television out of sheer boredom, but mostly remained stoic in his bored staring. Missy must've had something planned. She was acting far too cocky not to have something up her long, long sleeve. Maybe her monstrous species had some sort of ability to release pheromones. It was an absurd thought, sure, though her entire existence was absurd. She could do anything, and he wouldn't even expect it. Tick tock.

The clock hit ten. Not that Leo knew that, no, instead Missy shouted, "Let's get started!" She shut off the television and rolled up next to him. She was warm and soft, like a fluffy pillow. If anything that made him less aroused.

"Going to have to try harder than that."

"Oh," Missy whispered. "I will, Leo. I will." She wrapped an arm around him, keeping it squarely on his torso. He honestly expected to have to shoo him off of his crotch. She purred, poorly mimicking a cat. Then she let out a groan as she stretched.

"Thirty minutes," Leo said shifting onto his back. He couldn't help but smile at her poor attempts. Probably never had to deal with a guy with his head on straight. Nope, those petty tactics wouldn't work on him. 

"Shh, shh." Missy's arm slowly moved across his chest, her forearm settling on his shoulder, then her hand easing onto his head.

Leo looked at her limb. It was creepier up close. "You have a pretty bad idea of foreplay."

Missy hummed softly. It reverberated through him, surprisingly relaxing him. That's not sexy, though, so he was still winning. Hmph. "You know, Leo, you've got a pretty comfy bed," Missy said. Her words were drawn out and relaxed, like she was just teetering on the edge of reality and dreams. That sounded good. Leo snuggled into his pillow with a nod. Memory foam had its advantages. She yawned. That was a little too hard to resist, so he gave a small yawn of his own. Not long after, she started running her fingers through his hair, playing with every strand. Her fingers were gentler than he imagined. They did look like daggers when viewed from specific angles, so it was hard to picture that she could handle anything carefully. It was... nice. Missy? Nice? He would've laughed had he not been so tired. It must've been a long day.

Missy's velvet hand changed from playing to simply rubbing. Now he was the animal, huh? It didn't feel too bad, he guessed. Missy's head inched closer. Leo could feel her soft, warm breath blow past his neck. "Vargen ylar i nattens skog." What? That sounded ridiculous but-- Leo blinked. His eyes became heavier. It seemed familiar. Missy came closer, her wet nose brushing up against his skin. "Hon vill men kan inte sova," she hummed. What was it? Closer. "Hungern river i henne varga buk." Something a while ago that was... His eyes closed. Missy's nose trailed up his neck, nudging at the edge of his ear. "Och det är kallt i hennes håla." Each word dropped into his body. Every syllable easing his nerves.

"Missy?" Leo whispered.

"Du varg du varg, kom inte hit." Missy pulled him close. "Ungen min får du aldrig."


	6. Chapter 6

Leo awoke to the calm sunlight shimmering in through his curtains. His body, while well rested, felt incredibly heavy. He stretched, trying to get his muscles into gear, but was quickly pulled back in by the embrace of his comforting bed. The man scanned his room, or as much as his heavy eyes would let him. Where was Missy? A better question was, what happened last night? He certainly didn't... Nah, he couldn't have. For once in his life, he pulled his sheets up to his neck. Was his bed always this good?

A curious rattling stirred Leo from his rest. He opened his eyes to find Missy standing in his doorway, wearing that red shirt again. Her hand firmly shoved into a box of cereal. She pulled out a handful of cereal and shoved it into her mouth. "Shleep good?" she said, sending crumbs every which way. Leo only narrowed his eyes and turned away. Not now. He could hear her step closer. "So now that I won the bet." More rattling. "I get the bed too." He could feel the bed sink. Wait, what?

Leo looked back at her. There she was, on his bed, getting crumbs on his sheets. "What do you mean you won? We didn't f--" Ahem. "You didn't sleep with me."

Missy pulled her hand free. "Sure I did." She shoveled more food down her gullet. "I got you to sleep right next to me." She motioned toward the empty side of the bed with the cereal box and smiled. "You slept like a baby. Kinda cute." She smiled. "Best sleep I've had in a while too."

"No." Leo rubbed his eyes. "You meant sex."

"I meant sleep." Missy shrugged.

Leo sat up. "No, Missy, when you said sleep you meant sex."

"If you wanted to fuck, could've just asked."

"Missy."

"Hey dude, just admit you lost." She turned around and crawled over to his side, still clutching that damn box. "Keeping your word and all." She picked out a bit of cereal and slowly put it in her mouth.

"You really are the worst, you know that?" Leo said, shaking his head. No doubt, he did agree to simply 'sleeping' with her. Frankly it was his fault for not realizing it sooner. Missy wouldn't say something so polite. Sleep with. Hah, she would've called it fucking or given it some more colorful euphemism like 'hiding the hotdog'. Missy continued to nibble away at individual grains of cereal. "Not going to drop it, are you?"

"Nope." She snuggled into the pillows. "So you gonna follow through on your word, or pussy out?"

"So we both know you meant something different, but I still have to hold up my end?" At least it was a good sleep.

"Hey, if I lost I would've held up my own end." She patted his shoulder. "Don't be a sore loser. We can fuck some other time, bud."

Leo gritted his teeth. "Don't eat in bed." He considered asking her to take off his shirt too but didn't want an insufferable joke about undressing. He fell back and turned away from her. How could you be so goddamn stupid? He writhed in his idiocy for a little bit longer, still enjoying the lull of sleep he was still in. How was she so good at that? Where was that... whatever she was saying from? He rubbed his eyes again. As good as it was, he couldn't stay in bed all day. Not with Missy lounging in it. He got up, walked over to a rack, and pulled down his towel.

"Want me to join you?" Missy asked.

"No."

"Boring." The television flicked on, and Leo retreated to the bathroom.  
_

Granola bar, check. Binoculars, check. Notepad, check. Some bait, check. Blanket, check. Leo zipped up the bag, slinging it over his shoulder. "I'm going for a walk," Leo called out. He placed his hand on the front door's knob.

"Hey! I'll join you," Missy yelled back. There was the sound of fumbling, then Missy came scampering over to him. "I need some sun on my skin."

"Hold on, what if someone sees you. What are you going to do?" He pointed to himself."More importantly, what am I gonna do?"

"Check these out." Missy wiggled her ears. "I'm gonna hear anyone from a mile away."

"You don't even know where I'm going."

"Huh." She rubbed her chin. "Gee, I guess you'll just be walking into town, right? C'mon dude, I'm not that dumb. Let's screw around in the woods like we used to. It'll be fun!" She patted his arm.

"Whatever. Just bolt if someone comes."

"Aye aye, Sir." Missy mock saluted.

"Do you really have to wear that shirt?"

Missy hooked a finger into the neck of her shirt. "Want me to take it off, huh?"

Leo frowned. Knew it. "Forget it." He opened the door and stepped outside, quickly closing and locking the door behind Missy as she also stepped out. The man turned around and took a moment to appreciate nature. The rustle of the trees as a gentle breeze ran through them. The distant calls of birds. The simple open feeling of being outside.

"Man, it's hot out here." And all of it was gone. Leo sighed and began walking off with Missy in tow. The ground, while still mostly covered in foliage, had slowly given away over the years as he walked this trail. Leo tried to ignore the beast behind him and simply enjoy the sights. "So, hey, I got a question." As much as he could enjoy them.

"What is it?" Leo asked, still marching on.

"Why are you out here?"

"I just wanted to walk."

"No, stupid. Why are you living out here?"

A good question. Why was he out here? He silently looked out at the expanse of forest before him. No doubt he enjoyed it, but it wasn't something he was exactly looking for. "It's just a nice place, I guess."

"That doesn't sound like a 'you' answer, but sure, whatever."

"Why are you out here, then?" Leo replied. He watched a squirrel scurry past. Poor thing must be worried about the horrifying monster.

"For you, of course. Why else? You think I like crossing state lines? Let me tell you, getting a ride from the guy who kicked you out is not easy. Especially not that far."

"So how many handys did it cost, huh?" Leo asked.

"Oh quit it, prick. I'll just say I had a stern word with him. Crumpled just like that."

"You don't seem like a stern person."

"Well I guess we both learned something today."

Leo continued along the makeshift trail, listening to the dead leaves crunching underfoot. He noticed that Missy was relatively silent as she walked along. She was some sort of predatory creature, so it made sense. Having something silently stalk him, however, was somewhat unsettling. Even if Missy would be screwed without him, he had no idea what was going through her head most of the time. Maybe she'd decide to tear out his jugular. He looked back at her. Missy was waving around a stick she picked off the ground. Never mind, she couldn't do that.

"Hey, you mind handing over one of those bars?" Missy suddenly asked.

"What bars?"

"Bro, I can smell them. Just one, c'mon. I'm dying over here."

"You had nearly a whole box of cereal."

"I'm a growing girl."

"Growing pain." Leo reached inside his bag to retrieve a granola bar. He placed it in Missy's greedy outstretched hands.

"Thanks!" Missy tore the packaging open with her teeth and shoved the whole thing into her mouth, swallowing it with one gulp. "Delish." She let the wrapper flutter to the ground.

"Pick that up, Missy. We're not leaving trash behind."

"OK, Smokey Bear." She picked the thing up, crumpling it and handing it over to Leo.

"Smokey Bear is for forest fires."

"Whatever."

The path dipped lower and lower until they came to a stop at a small rest area. It was essentially a patch of dirt that Leo dragged a log onto for a simple bench. He sat down and Missy soon followed, settling in right next to him. "So now that we're going to be sleeping together--" Missy started.

"No, not right now. I don't want to talk. Just enjoy the outside."

"OK, fine, Pocahontas." She would never run out of those. Missy shrugged and looked out at the scenery with a yawn. "This is how you get your kicks, huh?" she mumbled. The trees waved with another breeze. It was a nice day out, honestly. There was a nice nip in the air, keeping things cool. Perhaps a little too cool, but it was good to get a heap of fresh air every now and again. For a moment, all of Leo's troubles disappeared. Well, more like one problem which was sitting next to him. Sleeping together. God, he fucked up. What else was she going to do? Close your eyes-- No, don't do that in front of her. Just relax.

There was a slight rustling in the bushes. Leo looked at it, trying to see what creature lurked within. Then, in a split second, a black blur pounced on the shubbery and tore out whatever was inside. "Christ!" Leo said with a flinch. It was only until Missy was standing in front of him, grouse in mouth that he realized what had happened. "Warn me next time, would you?" Leo said. Missy looked at him, then down at the thing in her jaws. The bird was completely still, blood trickling down its side. 

Missy looked around the forest innocently then shrugged. "Sorry," she said plainly, muffled by the fowl. 

Leo shook his head. He pulled out the blanket, then stood up. "Spit it out," he said, spreading out the blanket. Missy let the grouse fall into the blanket, upon which Leo quickly wrapped it back up. A little big, but it should fit in the pack. "I guess that's dinner."

The beast took her seat and wiped her mouth with her arm. Leo wasted no time starting the trail again once his backpack was situated properly. "Are we going already? Can't we take a longer break?" Leo didn't reply. She could stay if she wanted to. "I'm dying over here!"  
_

Leo continued along the trail. His enjoyment was dampened a small amount. The fresh air started to stale. Why him of all people? Couldn't those losers keep their friend with benefits? Whatever. His spirits started to rise as the foliage gave way to a small, serene lake. The smell of pine cones lingered on the air as they grouped up by the shore. He had always planned to get a small boat out here, but pulling it down, setting up a small dock, and making sure it wasn't stolen were all too much of a hassle. No, it was better he simply looked on in delight. Might be good for fishing, as the still water was dotted with small waves from beneath pecking at the air.

"Hey, jeez, could've waited up!" Missy called out. Just ignore her, she'll shut her trap. "Hey, I'm talking to you." She tapped on his shoulder.

"What is it?" Leo said, tossing a stone out into the lake.

"You alright?" Missy asked. She asked that? 

"I'm fine." For the most part. "You really had to jump on that thing?"

Missy stepped back. "It's not like I'm a-- It's not like I'm normal. You could've guessed that."

"You're smart though, aren't you?" He flung the next stone. It splashed halfway into the lake. "You aren't just an animal."

"Smart has nothing to do with it. I hear, I smell. I've got to do it." There was a pause. "It's like when guys are horny, they just have to jack it, right?"

"Your analogies are terrible." He sighed. "Couldn't you have gone to anyone else?"

"For the last time, Leo. No."

Leo continued to fling rocks into the lake. Nothing else to say. He always suspected that she was a little more feral than she let on. If she couldn't change that, then it was something he'd just have to get used to. She was his problem now anyways. It was almost like he was saving the world in a way. Keeping her from murdering innocent townsfolk. A stupid idea, but it was better than being some moron who was treating a monster as a friend. An old friend.

"It's nice out here," Missy said finally.

"Yeah."

"Kinda reminds me of the forest back home."

"...Yeah."

"I guess it makes sense you would live here."

"Not really."

"What?"

"The town is a few miles out. It takes me an hour to get to work. I'm nothing like the residents. Doesn't make any sense that I'd be out here." He flung another stone. "I could just find a nice park in the city."

"Then why did you?"

"I don't know." Now that Missy was here, he almost felt like he knew why he did. Almost. Maybe he'd never really know. "I don't really care anymore either."

"You wanna head back?" Silence. "Leo?"

Leo threw one last stone and looked back at the trail. "Yeah."

"You really gonna lug that bird around in your pack?"

"Funny question from the girl who killed it. Don't you want to eat it?"

"Not really."

"Well, too bad."


	7. Chapter 7

"Do I really have to do this?" Missy asked, holding up the plucked grouse.

Leo nodded. "You killed it. You prepare it."

"I'm not a cook. What the hell am I supposed to do with this?" She shook the thing around. Good thing it was already cleaned or else there would be a mess of red all over the kitchen.

"You're an adult, it's time you learned."

"Oh, I get it. It's because I'm a girl." Missy set the thing down on a cutting board. "I don't do the whole 'cooking' thing." She splayed out her hands. "See? Completely impossible to use with cooking." She smiled. "So why don't you do it?"

Leo shrugged. "Looks like you've got all the kitchen implements you need with those."

"What?"

"So long as you actually washed your hands, those should be good cutting knives."

Missy quickly pulled her hands behind her back. "No they aren't."

"Just gut the thing and I'll do the rest."

"Ugh, fine." Missy turned back to the fowl and stared at it. "Well?"

"You really don't know anything, huh?"

"No! I told you already!" 

"Fine. Here. Let's start with the head." Leo moved up next to her and ran his finger just below its gullet. "Here. Cut here."

"Ugh, do I have to? This is going to be so gross."

"Should've thought about that before you stuck your teeth in it." Missy groaned. "Now, be careful. Don't want to cut too deep." She cut just below the thing's neck. "Now the neck proper.

"Here?" Missy asked with a wince. She traced a claw across its gullet.

Leo gently grasped her hand and moved it a little lower. "Here." Missy plunged her claw into it. "Carefully. Don't want to cut the crop."

"Blegh." Missy traced her finger around the thing's neck. Leo knew her claws were sharp, but she had almost no trouble getting through the thing's flesh, like she was cutting hot butter. "Is that enough?"

"Yeah, good." Leo unconsciously took her other hand to demonstrate. "Now you wanna pull the whole thing off."

"God, are you serious?"

"How do you think they do it?"

"They put it on a huge conveyor belt and let machines do it. Saw it on TV."

"We don't have a gutting machine. Just pull." Leo gently tugged on her hands in the proper motion. "Like that. It'll pop off." Her hands were as soft as the rest of her. It was with his touching that he realized her fur started to shorten at the fingertips and that her skin was almost as black as her fur. He hastily pulled his hands away.

"Pop? I'm gonna hurl." Missy awkwardly grabbed the thing's neck and gave a firm tug, audibly stressing herself. Indeed, it popped. She yelped and let go of the head, letting it fall onto the floor. The fowl's eyes stared back at her. "Did you hear that? It slapped against the floor. This is so gross."

"Wouldn't have done that if you kept a firm grip on it." Leo picked the thing off the floor and tossed into the garbage. "But hey, it's still in one piece."

"You do this now. My hands are covered in bird grease." Missy held up her claws for emphasis. "Can't we just go get McDonald's? I won't kill anything anymore, please."

"We're not going to let the bird go to waste. You hunt something, you either eat it, wear it, or display it." He walked back up to the grouse. "Now pick."

"Fine, alright, jeez. You really are Pocahontas." She turned back around to the bird. "We're never going on a walk again."

"You're never going on a walk again." He pointed to the tail. "Chop this whole thing off." Missy effortlessly plunged her claw through the thing, lopping it off in one smooth motion. "See, you've already got the hang of it." Hesitantly he grabbed her hands again. "Shove a finger in here."

"In its ass? You sure this is legal?" Missy said with a barking laugh. She sliced into it. "Now what?"

"Now we make a real hole."

"No comment," Missy replied. Leo guided her again until the hole was big enough to shove a hand into.

"Looks like we didn't cut the intestines, now--"

"How the hell did you learn how to do this?" Missy asked.

"I looked it up."

"You go to the store like a normal person, don't you?"

"And a normal person is screwed if the store is closed." He reached into the bird and started pulling the intestines out.

Missy wretched, which sounded like a dog choking on a bone. "Oh my God. Seriously?"

"Seriously." Leo scooped out the guts and set them aside.

"You are not keeping those. Get the fuck out."

"I want to use it as fish bait."

"Fucking hell, and I thought I was the animal." She gagged again. "Alright, we're done now, right? No more of this? I don't want to look at a bird ever again."

"Fine. Wash your hands first."

"Way ahead of you." Missy moved over to the sink and started washing her hands vigorously. Once she had finished and dried off, she gave the grouse one last look, sneered, then walked off. Most of the work was already done, all he needed was to carve up the rest of it. He opened the cutlery drawer. All of his knives seemed so dull in comparison to her claws.  
_

"I'm still up for McDonald's," Missy said, looking down at her plate. "Or Wendy's." She gave it a sniff and a prod.

"That factory junk doesn't compare to fresh fowl," Leo replied, cutting into a seared breast of grouse. "Go on, eat. You caught it after all."

"That was a flinch, bro. I don't just tear things to shreds to eat their guts."

"Guess you're lucky then, because you don't have to eat the guts." He took a bite. Perfect. Perhaps a bit too much salt though.

"I guess you googled how to gut the thing, but how does a desk slave become a cook too?" Missy asked. She tore off aa piece and ate it. "Hey, this is pretty good. Maybe it was worth it."

"I'm not a desk slave," Leo replied. "I help manage internet domains."

Missy propped her head up on the table. "I don't know what that even means."

Leo pointed his fork at her. "It means I help manage websites and make sure they pay to keep them."

"So you're like an internet repo man. Wow, that sounds super futuristic!" He wasn't entirely sure if she was serious or mocking him.

Leo took another bite. "Have you ever had a job?"

"Does it look like I can have a job?" Missy replied. "Would you like fries with that stupid question?"

"You could do online work from home."

"I'm not a U.S. citizen either, you know."

"You were born in the U.S. but-- Yeah, I guess not." What an odd thought. "At least you don't have to pay taxes."

"But on the other hand I can't vote. Tsk, tsk." She started taking larger bites of meat, now holding the whole chunk. "Really though, how did you learn how to cook like this?"

"It's something to do. That's part of life, learning to improve yourself and doing new things."

"You sure?" Missy stared at the meat, then suddenly got that annoying smile. "Did it to get yourself a girl, huh?"

"You're the only person who has eaten my cooking, Missy." It was kinda pathetic when he put it like that.

The smile slowly disappeared. "Well, it's good at least. That's all I can say." She sipped a glass of water. "But if it makes you feel any better, I've never had a partner."

Leo furrowed his brow. "What? That's not what I meant. I've had girlfriends."

"So you're not good at relationships then," Missy said with a tilt of the head.

"I didn't say that either." Leo shook his head.

"I mean, you had many, and now you have none, so."

"Fine, whatever, sure, I'm not good at relationships."

"Sorry." That was a new one. Now he was thinking it.

"It's... fine." She really said sorry? He let the air clear a little. "You've never had a boyfriend-- or I guess, girlfriend too?"

"Just boyfriend. I've had to munch a carpet or two for a couch to crash--"

Leo held up his hand. "You don't need to go that in-depth, Missy. Seriously."

"Really? I thought dudes loved girl on girl stuff."

"Not when we're eating."

"Oh." Missy stuck out her tongue, which was probably supposed to come across as sexual, but its absurd length made it seem more grisly.

"Missy, please. Don't."

"Ugh, alright, fine, fine." She took another bite of grouse. "No, I've never had a boyfriend, but can you blame me? I don't get out much."

Leo shrugged. "Maybe try a mating call."

"Oh haha, very funny. Maybe you should go on tinder, dork."

"What's a tinder?" Leo asked.

"I don't even know how to respond to that, dude."

"I'm just saying, if there's more of you out there, maybe they use a mating call too. Might get lucky is all," Leo said. Hopefully they wouldn't also follow the high school dropout attitude that Missy had. "It's probably easier than romance."

Missy lowered her food. "That's pretty shallow, don't you think?"

"What, and fucking people for a room isn't?"

"That's for survival. If I'm gonna get together with someone, I'm not gonna knock them right off the bat with a 'do you wanna do it?'" Fortunately that already moved Leo himself from the equation. Missy didn't seem like a very happy girlfriend type, so he wasn't sure who would even want to date her. "Believe me, I've thought about this shit."

"Alright, I believe you." Though what were her long term plans? He had already mostly accepted that she wasn't leaving, but he couldn't stay with her forever. Maybe somewhere back in his mind he was hoping there would be a settlement of other gangly monsters, as silly as it was. Though at this point, Missy was... Leo looked at her as she tore apart cooked bird. She was a little too human now, perhaps. Who knew if her peoples had a civilization, let alone a culture.

"Quit looking at me like that. You look like you're gonna eat me."

"Like I'm going to eat you?" Leo laughed. "Which one of us has the knives for nails here?"

"Which one of us expertly knew how to gut a chicken?"

"It's a grouse, and it's not as though I know how to gut whatever you are."

"Wolficus."

"Yeah, yeah, alright. I haven't even thought about that in years."

"Don't want to forget your childhood. Just look how boring adulthood is. You're reeeeeeaaaaaaaally lucky to have me, you know?" She shoved the last of the grouse into her mouth, horking it down like a bird would with a fish.

"Yeah, super lucky. Indeed."

Missy gave a content sigh. "Anyways, I'm off for bed." She leaned forward. "See you there." She stood up and walked off.

"Put your plate in the sink!" Leo called out.

"No more rules, Leo!"

"No more rules," he mocked. That wasn't exactly how the deal went but whatever. Leo took his time with the rest of the meal, not because it was enjoyable, no, but rather he realized his one real refuge had also been claimed by Missy. He sighed and ate the last piece of grouse. At least you didn't die in vain, poor fowl. He took his and Missy's plate to the sink, quickly washed them, and made the slow march back to his room.

"Welcome to my abode, human," Missy said, presenting the bed.

"Are you some kind of monster lurking in a lair now?"

"Sure. This side of the lair is free." She patted it repeatedly. "It's cozy, believe me, I've tested both sides."

"Stick to your side."

"Gosh, it's like we're a real couple now, with sides!"

Leo didn't respond. He just settled into bed and turned away from her. Of course, she was watching television. He regretted ever having put the thing in here. Why did he even get one? Just because everyone else on the planet had one in their room? Maybe he could hang up some fine art instead. That'd give something Missy to gawk at.

"Why not enjoy your time, Leo? You've got work tomorrow," Missy said, poking at his back.

"It's exactly why I need to get my rest."

"You're Mr. Perfect at work, I'm sure you can let up just this once. Relax, guy."

"Nah, I need to keep up the routine." He looked back. "Why do you care anyways?"

"I'm gonna be sharing a bed with you, aren't I? I'd like it to be someone fun. Looks like I got the grinch."

"Oh shut up."

"Why don't you take off your clothes? You look like a doofus sleeping like that." She prodded at him again.

Leo refused to admit his embarrassment. "Alright, fine." He pulled his shirt off, then awkwardly pulled his pants off under the sheets. Leo bundled the two garments together and pushed them out onto the ground. He could collect them for cleaning later.

"Why are you so afraid of taking your clothes off? Look at me, I'm nude twenty four-seven. Don't see me complaining."

"I'll shave you then."

"Come on Leo, we used to bathe together when we were younger."

"I certainly don't remember that."

"Well you better believe it, buddy."

"You've changed since then anyways. It's not the same."

"So have you! It's why I want to get to know you better."

"Do you really?" Leo asked sincerely.

"We're going to be living together, so duh."

"You should know that take up the whole bed while I sleep."

"It's a battle, then."

Leo didn't bother answering. Hopefully not a losing battle. He closed his eyes, blocked out the noise, and tried to sleep.  
_

Leo slowly awoke. Something was off. It was the dead of night and he was still on his side. What was the issue? He slowly turned around to find Missy laying there, loudly snoring in a growly sort of way. Oh, right. It was the first night he had to spend with her. Surely she was much better asleep, but it had been quite some time since Leo had actually shared a bed. Not as though he used the whole thing anyways. He sighed. Despite being hard to make out in this light, he could still pick out some of her cuter features like her curly hair and animalistic snout.

It wasn't really Missy if she wasn't spouting something dumb every second. His gaze lingered on her body. A sense of curiosity swirled around in his mind. What made Missy into the creature before him? Not that he had any choice in the matter, but it made him wonder what had made this mythical creature of the night into a sarcastic and chipper housemate. It wasn't the rambunctious little girl who would wipe ketchup on her dress, or who would jump off trees to chase away cats. It wasn't like Leo knew if any of those memories could even to be trusted, though. She was now a twenty something nobody who spent her time wasting it and getting off.

Leo looked at her for a little longer. There was still that voice in the back of his head wondering if she was real. No doubt it was a shock to have over a decade of denial smack you right back in the face, smiling all the way. He turned over and closed his eyes. What would it have been like if they hadn't parted? Who knew. Missy could be the bad egg and he'd be worse off, or she could have been a decent roommate. Didn't matter anymore.


	8. Chapter 8

Leo awoke properly, just before his alarm went off. He quickly slammed his hand down to shut it off a mere second after it started. Leo got up and stretched, then quickly glanced back to see if Missy was there. Surprisingly she was gone. Certainly she would've had some bad joke prepared. "Was it as good for you as it was for me?" Missy said from the doorway. There it was. Leo looked back at her.

"Good morning to you too, Missy," he said with a frown. "Already got a head start on your lounging for the day?"

"You could say something like that, I guess." She stepped to the side to reveal her hand, which was holding a bowl. "Maybe even better!"

"What's that?" Leo asked incredulously.

"Cereal. What, you thought I could make something else?"

"Just don't eat too much, alright? My shopping list is already filling up." He rubbed his face.

Missy rolled her eyes. "The cereal is for you, dork. I don't even like milk." She walked over and nearly shoved the bowl into his hands. It was cereal alright. Somehow it wasn't completely screwed up either.

Leo furrowed his brow. "Thanks."

"You're very welcome." Missy gave a big grin. "Now I'll get to that lounging." She walked off.

Surely something had to be off about the meal, but Leo wasn't about to deny one of the few gifts he would ever receive from Missy and quickly downed the whole thing. He stood up, remembering the pile of clothes he tossed down and was now standing on. Leo sighed, picked up the clothes, and headed on his way to start his routine. Clothes into closet. Bowl into sink. Dodge Missy in the hallway. Into the bathroom. Quick shave. Shower. Done.

Leo walked back into his bedroom. Missy was naturally there, taking up space on his bed. "Find any good napping spots for today?" he asked, dressing himself for work.

"Yeah, this one." Missy rolled onto her stomach. "You wear a uniform to work? You got like, ten of the same shirt."

"No, it's not a uniform, it just looks presentable." He looked to her. "Stay out of my drawers."

"Aw man, you should've said closet. That would've been so much funnier."

"You gonna stay in bed all day?" Leo asked. On one hand, that sounded like the absolute perfect way to make sure she didn't cause trouble, and on the other hand, he didn't like the idea of her rolling around in his sheets while he was at work.

"What's it to you?" Missy asked.

"It's my house after all. I want to know what the damage is gonna be when I get back." He finished buttoning up his work shirt and adjusting the cuffs.

Missy spread herself out on the bed. "It's my house now too, buddy, why would I want to fuck it up?" she asked.

"You work in mysterious ways, Missy. How would I know?"

"Not that dumb. Now go on and bring home the bacon, big guy. I'll keep the homestead secure." She gave a mock salute and placed a pillow over her head. All he could ask for, really. If only she did that when he was around.

Leo stood up and checked everything he needed was on his person. Perfect. He opened his mouth to say goodbye and paused. That was weird. It felt both wrong to say it, and wrong not to say it. "I'll be back," he said simply.

"Sure thing, Arnie. See ya," Missy said with a wave.

"Don't suffocate under there," he replied. With that, Leo walked off, straight out onto his porch. He firmly shut the door, telling himself he was sealing off a terrible beast from the world. Door locked, handle jiggled to make sure, and done. Onward to work with a prayer.  
_

Despite having worked only a few days ago, it felt like an eternity since Leo had been busy. This could hardly be called work anyways. More like a paid vacation away from Missy, he said to himself with a chuckle. The workload was relatively light, allowing his thoughts to wander as he tapped away at his keyboard. He glanced over at the cubicle wall next to him. Hopefully Mr. Irons was enjoying his fresh retirement. Leo wasn't entirely sure when he'd retire. There was a lot in his career he still had to achieve, and even more things to save away. Save away for a proper family lifestyle at that.

What would Missy do come old age? Leo frowned. She wormed his way into his thoughts too. It wasn't a bad question regardless. Almost impossible to imagine her settling down and finding that special someone, or slowing down to appreciate life at all. Nah, she was perfect at slowing down. In fact she was doing it right now, in his bed, sleeping away the day, and who knows what else. He winced slightly upon thinking about her taking care of her needs in his bed. That would need a deep cleaning that might've been past even his capabilities.

Leo's phone rang, breaking him out of his ridiculous thoughts. Instinctively he reached for the landline in front of him, only to pause and realize it was actually his cellphone. Strange, but maybe the higher ups were having landline issues. "Yes? Leo here," he said.

"Hola señor," a feminine voice replied.

Goddammit. "Missy, why the hell are you calling me?"

"Woah, easy, I was bored, OK?"

"Actually, how are you even calling me?"

"You got Skype on your laptop, dude. Didn't you know?"

"Didn't I already tell you not to touch that?" Leo replied.

"Oh, I'm sorry, is that what Mr. 'I lost the bet' asked?"

"I asked that before I lo-- we made the agreement."

"Yeah well, tough, you can't make me get off it now. You know if any games run on this thing?" Missy asked.

"Hold on, don't just switch up topics like that."

Someone cleared their throat behind Leo. He recognized that assertive windpipe clearing anywhere. Instantly he put the phone in his lap and spun around in his chair. "Yes, Sir?" he said automatically, putting on his best poker face. There was his boss, as he guessed.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, Mr. Davis, but you do know that personal calls aren't to be made on work hours, right?" he asked with a smile, clearly amused by the situation.

"I do apologize, Sir. Something is going on at home. Not a big deal."

"Hello? Hellooooooooooooo?" Missy called out through the phone.

"Oh, it's about your lady," his boss replied. The larger man straightened his tie. "Well, make it quick, then. Wouldn't want to keep her waiting."

His boss wasn't budging. Ugh. Leo picked up the phone. "Missy, just stick to television, we'll talk when I get home, alright?"

There was a long pause. "'Kay." Another pause. "Love you, Leo." He could hear the giggle in her voice.

The man looked up at his boss, who was gesturing with his hands to continue. Fuck, this really was going to happen. "Love you too," he slurred. Leo hung up a split second after Missy burst into laughter. He received a victorious thumbs up from his boss. God, kill him now.

"Went well, I see. Good to see you two making up like that."

"Thanks, Sir," Leo replied, dejected. He wasn't going to hear the end of this at home.

His boss disappeared around the corner, then came right back with an office chair. Oh no. He pushed the chair into the cubicle. God, no. Not right now. He sat down. "I know lady troubles can be tough, but she sounds like a good girl." He clenched his fist to emphasize his point. "Missy, was it? That a nickname? Pretty cute, too," he said.

"No, that's her real name. Or-- Yeah, real name." At least, it was whatever they called her way back home. Leo hadn't the slightest clue if she had some unspeakable guttural name from the depths of hell.

"She's cute, right?" His boss asked, pulling closer.

Leo scratched his neck. "In the same way a puppy is cute, I guess. Sir."

The larger man tilted his head. "Never heard it described like that. She an airhead or something?" He laughed. "Excuse me. Didn't mean to put her down like that."

"No problem, Sir." Leo tried to think of a generic way to put it. "She's more overactive."

"Hey, sounds like you hooked yourself a good one." He nodded. "They're the ones that do the work in bed." The boss straightened up. "Unless you're saving it for marriage." He cleared his throat. "Then, in which case, you're an admirable man, Leo."

"Believe me, Sir. I fully intend to wait until marriage." With someone else. "Anything you needed, Sir?"

"Hold on just a second."--he adjusted himself on the seat--"I know you're modest, but I think it's... important that you get this right. Even if you're saving yourself, it's good you get in there firm." He raised and clenched his fist. "Make an effort."

"I understand, Sir. Really, it's fine."

"Alright, alright. Just wouldn't want you to lose it. I knew a fella-- Jeff, maybe? Or a John-- Anyways, guy spent two years with a girl, then she runs off with another man."

If only, Leo said to himself. "She practically begged me to stay, Sir. I really doubt that's happening."

"Hopefully not a nutcase," he mumbled. "You know each other long?"

"Since... about childhood, Sir." Leo kept glancing to his monitor, hoping his superior would get the message.

"Work can wait a minute. You're already ahead of schedule." He pulled up closer, forcing Leo subtly back. "Leo, you've really scored on this one. She a blonde? Brunette?"

"Black, Sir. Jet black." You know, the kind you can't see at night.

The man eased off and adjusted his suit. "Not exactly exotic, but I'm sure she'll make up for it." He eased off. "Look, you need any help, I'm always available. Any time or place, got it?"

"That won't be necessary, Sir" Leo said with a shake of the head.

"No, really. I mean it. I know you're an up and coming bachelor, but the opposite sex can be harder than you think."

"If you say so, Sir." Not that Leo needed to be told. Though at times it was hard to believe Missy was the opposite sex the way she conducted herself.

"Not sure how many of them you've taken a crack at, but I can tell this one is different."

"More than you would expect, Sir." Leo rubbed his forehead.

"That's the thing you hold close, got it?" He leaned forward again and gave Leo a pat on the shoulder. Probably would've broken had he given it a smidge more force.

"Yes, Sir. Will do." Probably sound advice. Knowing Missy she'd probably ditch him for a phone if possible. "Hope your own marriage is going well."

The boss stood up and adjusted his tie. "They're not all winners, Leo, but you learn to like what you have," he said with a shrug. Awfully vague, but Leo wasn't going to pry. Certainly not now when he was so close to leaving. The boss tucked the chair away and walked off. "Good luck, champ. You'll pull through." He gave that thumbs up again. Leo uneasily returned the gesture with a thumbs up of his own, prompting a laugh from the man. He finally slipped out of sight.

Leo breathed a sigh of relief and quickly silenced his phone, then set it down. After a moment of thinking, he turned off the vibration too. He glanced back just to make sure there wasn't someone judging him. Fortunately not. He returned to his work with far more vigor than before.


	9. Chapter 9

Leo tapped his pockets, then braced himself as he inserted the key into the front door. As he turned the key, the door suddenly swung open to reveal Missy, clad in a faded robe. "Welcome back, lover," she said, stifling her laughs. The key fell to the floor. Leo shooed her inside, shut the door, and picked up his key.

"Really? Did you really have to do that?"

"Hey, I thought it would be a nice way to be greeted," Missy replied.

"No. When you called me?"

"Oh. Well, c'mon dude I told you I was bored." She shrugged. "You were at work so you must've been bored too. I put two together."

"If anything you made me more bored," Leo replied with a shake of the head. He started walking off to his bedroom. Right, it was their bedroom now, and just like any person with a bedroom, Missy already began decorating. Some of his clothes were strewn on the floor. A box of cereal on the bed. Television on. Pristine, just as he had left it. "I see you had your fun. No need to call me." He pointed into the room.

"If it makes you feel any better, those clothes were already dirty."

"And the cereal?"

"I was hungry."

"You had to leave the TV on too? Just in case the bugs in the room got bored?"

"I'll give you ten bucks if there's a bug in this house.

"Clean it up."

"Sorry? Did I hear something? I thought there was some guy who lo--"

Leo snapped his hand shut at the air. "Missy," Leo said firmly and calmly. "Clean it up. I already gave you the bed. You should be happy with it."

Missy turned her head, keeping her gaze on Leo. He could barely see her brow crinkle. "Alright, fine. Sheesh." Missy silently went about her tasks. She turned off the television, picked up all of the scattered clothes, and snacks. There was an amusing factor to making a woodland monster pick up trash. So amusing in fact, that it took Leo some time to realize she hadn't shot any more snarky remarks his way. "There," she said, walking past him to put his clothes back in a hamper.

"Thank you," Leo replied. He undid his tie, and walked in, setting his case down on the bed. He looked back to make sure Missy wasn't looking in, then quickly closed the door to change. Maybe she could be a good roommate yet, he considered. He shook his head. Fat chance. This was probably some sort of rare event. Oh well, at least it was good while it lasted. He changed into more civilian clothes and stepped back out into the living room, but not before stowing away his laptop. Back in the living room, Missy was back to her lounging, staring at the television in front of her. 

Today's work was already long decided ago, from the moment he woke up. He moved into his storage room, retrieved a spick and span toolbox and walked back over to the kitchen. "What'cha doin' over there?" Missy asked, not turning her attention away from the screen.

"Working on the pipes. The sink is draining too slow."

"OK, eagle eye," she replied disinterestedly. Leo turned on the sink and then quickly off. Yep, that was a block alright. "You really need to do that now?"

"Before it becomes a problem, yes." He set down his tools and pulled out a bowl. Kneeling down, he opened the cabinet under the sink, placed the bowl under the pipes, and began to loosen the whole thing. "Losing a sink isn't fun."

"So who was that guy you were talking with at work?"

Leo grunted as he undid a pipe, setting it aside carefully. "If you have to know, that was my boss." Water dripped out, falling into the bowl.

"Your boss let you on your phone at work? What a cool guy."

"He really didn't, not until he realized I was"--he sighed, both in exertion and annoyance--"talking to a girl."

Missy giggled. "He knows you're lonely, huh?"

Leo rolled his eyes. "Something like that. He can be a little too nice." He slipped on some gloves and reached into the pipe, feeling around for a blockage.

"Is that why you said you loved me?" She giggled again. "That was awfully sweet of you!"

"I wasn't about to disappoint him," Leo replied simply. Yeah, something like that. He shifted his attention to another pipe, searching in there too. After a few moments of prodding, a black clump of hair dribbled out into the bowl below. Gee, how did that get there? He was going to have to check the tub too.

"So did you mean it?"

"What?" Leo glanced back to see Missy had turned around in her chair to look at him.

"Did you mean it?" The question lacked that sarcastic bite, but she was still smiling. "Don't keep a lady waiting, c'mon."

"I mean, didn't you just ask why I did it? Isn't that answer enough?" He turned back. She had canine qualities and none of the redeeming factors. "Can't even grab the paper in the morning," he mumbled. It was an odd question though.

"No, it isn't."

"Well let me ask you something then, do you love me?" There's a thinker for you. "Now let me get back to work." He pushed a little more, forcing out more of the hair.

"Sure," Missy said simply.

Leo stopped and shook his head. "You can't just toss love around like that, alright? I'm not one of your house crash buddies." Not entirely, anyways. He still had some level of standards in comparison. 

"Chivalrous, exactly why I love you. And the food. And the house. And the cool stuff."

"Yeah?" That sounded about right for her. "I guess you liked all the other guys like that too?"

"Nah, their houses sucked. Like, three rooms bad. Sometimes two."

"Well. that's what happens when you do nothing all day." Maybe that was too subtle for her.

"What if you're rich, though? Then you really can do nothing all day."

"That just gives you more things to do." More clumps fell out. What the hell was she doing? "How many times have you used the sink?" Leo asked.

"Oh, I got jam in my fur, so I was scrubbing it off at the sink. You'd think it would come out easy, but no!"

"We have a damned tub, you know," Leo said, looking into the bowl.

"Yeah but I'm not gonna take a whole shower to get rid of some gunk. Be real. Dish soap and water, done."

Leo set his tool down and took off his gloves. He briefly rubbed his eyes before standing up. "Missy." He walked over to the couch, rounding the armrest.

"Yeah?" The man swiped the remote control out of her hand. "Hey! Easy! I was using that!"

Leo shut off the television. "How are you this damned inconsiderate? Doesn't anything run through your head before you try it? Anything? At all?"

"It's just a fucking sink."

"Sure it's just a fucking sink now, but how about the next thing you screw up? What about when you break my laptop? Fuck up the fridge?"

Missy stood up, frowning. "You lost the bet, asshole, so shut--"

Leo jabbed a finger at her, instantly shutting her up. "Don't talk to me about a damned bet. You're in my house. You're so goddamned lucky I even let you do that stupid thing and gave my word. What have you done here except mess up my life and screw around?" He stepped closer. Missy slunk back into her chair.

"What the hell do you expect me to do? I can't get a job. I can't do a lot of work! You don't think I feel bad about being a useless piece of shit sometimes?"

"No. No I don't. In fact, I can't imagine the thought has crossed your mind until this very moment, but you could, and hear me out here, bother to be a decent human being."

Missy bared her teeth. "I'm not human, jackass!"

"But you sure do act like them! Look at you on the couch, wearing their clothes, watching their television, eating their food. You sure love the lifestyle, but you can't handle any bit of it when it comes to being a good person."

Missy glanced away and bundled up. Whatever ferocity she had instantly evaporated. "What the fuck is your problem?"

Leo ignored the most rhetorical question he had heard in his entire life. "No wonder you're here. Even after all those pathetic no-lifes fucked you, you still somehow wasted all their goodwill away. Not surprising. I don't know how the hell I've managed to keep myself sane with you around."

"...I thought you liked me at least a little."

"As a matter of fact, no, I don't. Tell me, Missy. Put yourself in my shoes just for a fraction of a second. You work your whole life for a good living and then you find yourself having to deal with someone you hardly know rushing in and being all buddy buddy. Wouldn't like it, would you?"

Missy continued to look away into the distance.

"Look at me." She snapped to him, staring daggers at him. "Wouldn't like it, would you?"

"No, but I wouldn't flip the fuck out like you do!"

"Sure you would, if you had ever bothered to think about how other people feel."

"So what do you want me to do? Shut up? Sit in the corner? Maybe I should just disappear."

"Don't even try to act like that's a bad thing, you know that's exactly what I'd want."

"And sit out in the woods? I'm just supposed survive there?"

"I don't know what the hell you are, but if you're not human you definitely belong out there and not in here. Pick your poison, Missy."

There was a long silence. Leo silently hoped she would agree and give up being a waste of space. Instead, she continued to shift and fidget, occasionally looking up at Leo as if she were praying he'd disappear. She may have had sharp claws and teeth, but they didn't really mean anything, did they? Even if she weren't a tame beast, she probably couldn't have done anything to him seriously. "Well?" he asked.

Missy looked up at him properly. "Fine." She stood up and pulled off the robe, then forcefully tossed it onto the couch. "Fine." She rushed past him and went straight into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. 

"Fine," Leo replied back. He picked up the robe. It was hers now anyways, but it might as well go into the wash. He moved into the hallway, depositing the robe into the hamper. "If you take a shower make sure that drainer is on it. I don't want to have to fix that one too." A deep, guttural growl was the response he got. Figures. Hopefully she wouldn't be in there long. "And dry yourself off in the tub." Leo walked back into the living room. He glanced back at the bathroom door.


	10. Chapter 10

The next few days were considerably softer on Leo's mental health. Missy kept her trap mostly shut and only watched television. Despite that, she still took her spot on the bed, which made for some awkward nights. It was strange having a beast settle into the place where he slept, but only hearing her soft breaths instead of a barrage of jokes was odd. Maybe that was for the better, though. It was easier to sleep at night. No more calls at work either, meaning Leo got away scot-free without having to talk to his superior. Despite all that, there was still something off about the whole thing that Leo couldn't quite put his finger on.

"I'm headed out for work," Leo said, adjusting his suit. He looked back at Missy, who was faced away from him on the bed. Was she... pouting? Was this whole thing to get back at him? Leo thought she might've learned her lesson, realizing she had nothing of value to say whatsoever. Instead, it might've been some childish way to get back at him. "I said, I'm going out."

"I heard you."

"I'd at least like an acknowledgement."

"Fine, here's your acknowledgement," she replied, not moving.

"Can't you bother being polite?"

"Why should the animal be polite?"

Leo rubbed his temple and calmed himself. "Alright, look, do you mind doing something for me today?"

No response. Not even a movement.

"Just take out the trash. That's all you have to do. Take out the bag, and put it in the bin outside. It's right next to the house." He sighed, already imagining her screwing up. "Can you do that?"

No response.

"Missy."

"Alright, fine. I can do that."

"I'd like it if you looked at me when we spoke."

"Why? It's not like you give a shit about me."

Leo clenched his fist and relaxed. "I don't have time for this. Just take out the trash, OK? That's all I ask right now."

"I can do it, now go."

That should keep her occupied for an hour. Could instill a work ethic in her too, if he was extremely lucky. "Wash your hands when you're done," Leo said. 

"I always wash my goddamn hands!"

Leo nodded. Good. "Right. See you later." Off to work. The routine of having Missy at home had become normalized in his mind. He still worried every now and again that Missy might break every single thing in his house with military precision, but the fear had faded. That probably wasn't a good thing, getting used to her like that. It made the whole thing easier, at least. He stepped into his car and started the engine, adjusting his clothing in the process.

Leo settled into his workplace as he always did. Easy workload today, so he could pace himself. He soon found that to be a bad thing, however. His eyes would glance at the landline in front of him, wondering if he should check in on Missy. No, no he couldn't. That would just make her snark about it and nothing would come from it. First she was calling him and now he wants to call her. Not that he could anyways, considering he already hid away his computer. She would probably rummage around the house for it anyways. He set his boundaries and he was certain she'd circumvent them as hard as she could.

"Leo," someone said behind him. He shut his eyes. Just had to happen today too, huh?

"Yes, Sir?" he said, turning around finding his boss in front of his cubicle.

"I'm headed off for lunch, thought you might want to join me."

"Oh, thank you for the offer, Sir. Still not quite my lunchtime though."

"I know that, Leo. Who do you think signs your checks?" he said with a smile. "You were slowing a little, figured you might need a break."

Not a bad prospect. Could be a leg up later on. "Alright. Let me just finish up this write up."

"Nonsense, you can leave it there. Just shut off the monitor and come on," he said with a beckon.  
_

Leo found himself in his Boss's office, quietly chewing at a sandwich he prepared for himself. Slightly more glamorous than a cubicle. Like every other "official" office on the planet, the wall was adorned with all sorts of frames with random tidbits from certificates to pictures of random people shaking hands. The room was a bit stuffy, making it somewhat uncomfortable as he could hear every little chew and swallow in the room. "How's it going with the girl?" Leo's superior asked. The first words said since they entered.

"I can't say it's going great, Sir." Not that Leo even wanted to think about Missy right now. It was a good way to get things off his chest, at least.

"Come on, Leo, we're having lunch. You can drop those titles," the bossman replied, biting into a sloppy sub.

"If you say so... Vernon." The name grinded across his tongue. It was like breaking a taboo.

"That's more like it." Vernon took another bite. "So tell me, what's the issue with your lady friend?"

"She's a little overbearing. Can't really take care of the home, you know?"

"Can't or won't?"

"I guess a mix of both. More won't, though."

"So I'm guessing you feel this is a one sided relationship, right? Not like she can provide anything except love?"

"Something like that, right." Leo wouldn't even want to accept her love. It probably came with some strings attached. Like she'd tear off his limbs after their first kiss or something. That's how animals worked.

"Must be tough, you being the marriage type." Another bite. Leo nearly had a heart attack with each one Vernon took. Mayo threatened to burst out of the bread and dribble down his expensive suit. "You can always teach her. Not a dead end just yet. Missy, right?"

"Frankly she does feel like a dead end. You spend time with the wrong people all your life it tends to affect you."

"Thought you were old friends?"

Leo nodded. "Yeah, but that was ages ago. We haven't spoken since."

"There's always a hint of what they used to be. Nobody changes completely."

Leo laughed. "Well, even then, I wouldn't know her. I hardly remember that time."

"So, Leo." Vernon set his sandwich down. "Why're you with her? This isn't a girlfriend kinda thing, is it?"

"Not really, no." There was clear disappointment in Vernon's expression. "More like a couch crasher."

The larger man picked up a bit. "Nothing stopping you from making it a thing, you know. I know the younger generation talks about that friend zone thing, but that's nonsense." He shrugged and picked up his food again.

"Can't say I want it to be a thing."

Vernon opened his mouth to bite then stopped. He smiled. "OK, so let me get this straight." He held up a hand and started counting. "She won't help around the house." One. "She doesn't do anything for you." Two. "You don't want it to be a thing." Three. "So why are you letting her stay, buddy?"

Leo paused. Was it the goodness of his heart? Being a friend? Loneliness? No, scratch that last one. "She was desperate, and I guess I'm just that kind of sucker. Nowhere else to go."

"Oho? You sure you don't want it to be a thing? Could just toss her out. She's an adult." Yeah, well that was the problem, wasn't it? She wasn't a normal adult.

"Let's just say, due to the circumstances, she can't do that." Leo rubbed his neck.

"She an illegal or something?"

Leo was taken aback, but he supposed it was a valid question considering the circumstances. "No, no, no, she was born here as far as I know."

"Criminal?"

"She's probably broken some law, but I doubt she's been caught for it."

"So what's the big deal then? Boot her if you really don't like her."

"Believe me, I've been thinking about it. She's going to be working around the house today."

"You're still trying?"

Leo's brow furrowed. "Well, yeah. I'd like to give her a shot, at least."

"How many shots have you given her?"

"Way too many." Leo took a bite. Yeah, far, far too many. What were you thinking making a stupid bet like that? Or hell, opening the door for her at all? What's going through your head?

"And... you don't want it to be a thing."

"Right."

"Something about your story doesn't really add up, Leo," he said with a smile.

"I know. I sound like an idiot. I guess I just want to give her a shot because we were friends. Not that I even remember that anyways."

"Maybe you're way nicer than you give yourself credit for." Vernon tilted his head toward Leo. "Just make sure you don't let anyone take advantage of you. Nothing worse than letting goodwill get sapped out of you. You're better than that."

"Oh, no. Of course not. I've managed to wrangle her somewhat."

"So you're saying there's a chance?"

"A chance of what?"

Vernon smiled. "Of you two getting together."

"C'mon, Sir." Leo shook his head. "Vernon. I can put her on a leash but I'd say the damage is done."

"You sure? How long has it been since she moved in?"

"About a week."

"Not sure a week is good enough for that."

"You haven't been living with her."

"No, you're right, I haven't," Vernon said with a shake of the head. "But something tells me this is a once in a life time opportunity." Right, Leo supposed that was true. Unfortunately that only extended to her being some bog monster and not being a sensible person that clicked with him. "You heard about the honeymoon syndrome?"

"Is that a real thing? You sound like you're making it up on the spot."

"It's real." He took a large bite of sub and downed it. "It goes that, when you move in with someone, you start to realize what they're like in private. The honeymoon is over and you realize that they're a lot worse at home."

"I get that 24/7, yeah." Not that she could go into public without a paper bag and a trench coat. "What's your point?"

"Well, you only know her in private, so the only place to go is up, right? Still don't entirely know her yet."

"Maybe she's a little dumber than I expected, but I can't imagine she would actually improve with time. She clogged a whole sink a few days ago. Not even an apology."

Vernon shrugged. "All I'm saying is, you really don't know her yet, and you already have her at her worst."

"Suppose you're right. Don't think I'm gonna have kids with her though," Leo said with a laugh.

"The way I hear it, she doesn't sound the type either."

Leo looked down at his sandwich. Instantly he imagined swaddling some small, furry beast with rows of teeth. Maybe he should go for it. She'd probably scoot the second she could and he turned his back. What a terrible joke. He leaned back in his chair and looked up at the ceiling. Vernon had experience, sure, but he couldn't imagine what Leo was up against. It was possible he was dealing with alien psychology anyways. Could be that she was completely incapable of being a good person. No doubt she was some sort of stalking predator, the kind that didn't need compassion or empathy. Was it her fault, then? Don't even try to make excuses for her. She knew exactly what she was doing.

"She must've taken a lot of your time, huh?" Vernon said suddenly.

"Why do you say that?" Leo asked.

"You look like you're gonna pass out."

"You'd feel the same in my shoes."


	11. Chapter 11

Leo pulled into his driveway with mentally crossed fingers. He stepped out and looked at the disposal bin that sat snugly against his house. Anything could be in there now. From nothing to his entire fridge. Hell hath no wrath like a spiteful woodland creature. Leo stepped out and ambled over to the bin. With a deep breath and a quiet prayer, he peeked in, then fully opened it. There it was, a black trash bag. Never had he ever been so happy to see trash. She was capable of following simple orders without his supervision! Leo smothered his smile and stepped inside.

Missy was on the couch, stuck to her usual spot in her robe again. "I'm back," Leo said.

"I can see that," Missy said flatly. The man checked the kitchen trash. No bag inside but he supposed he didn't ask for that part. "I did your stupid job."

"Now was that so hard?"

"Don't fuck with me. I'm not in the mood."

"I just wanted to say good work."

"What did I just say?"

"I'm congratulating you, easy."

"Do you have to sound like such a prick while you do it?"

"I'm saying you did a good job. Relax a little!"

Missy huffed. That was probably the best response he was going to get from her. Even when he gives her a chance, he gets bitten in return. Leo dressed placed everything back in its proper spot and dressed himself back in civilian clothes. His room was still in order too, so that was a major improvement. Specks of her hair could be seen on the sheets, but as far as he knew, she didn't do that on purpose. He couldn't assume anything when it came to Missy, though. Leo went back out into the living room and started replacing the garbage bag. "You didn't put a bag in here, you know."

"I tried, OK? You should be happy I took out the stupid trash."

You should be happy about a lot of things too, Leo silently replied. He kept his mouth shut, not wanting to damage any possible progress he made with her. One step down, just a near infinite amount more. He shut the bin, then looked around the floor to check for any mess. None, surprisingly, which meant that she hadn't made a mess, or maybe she cleaned up. Leo wasn't sure which of the two was more unbelievable. He sighed. Alright, easy, she made the effort which was a lot more than none at all. Leo quickly changed and went back to the kitchen, where he began examining the windows.

A phone call came in that Leo quickly answered. "Hello?"

"Hey, Leo, it's Vernon. Just forgot to go over something at lunch."

"Yes?"

"You know that domain we opened yesterday? Sorry but you're gonna have to get rid of it."

"Not a problem. It'll be gone by morning," Leo replied.

"You can do it when you get here. No need to be working off the clock," Vernon said.

"It'll be easy. Didn't think it would last long anyways. It had it coming, really."

"Just don't tax yourself on your time off. Need you on your a-game at work."

"Believe me, Sir, I'd be more than glad to do it."

"Alright, see you then."

"Goodbye." Leo stuffed the phone in his pocket and returned to his window scrutinizing.

With Missy's absurd amount of hair clogging the pipes, it was possible she caused some sort of damage, which would most easily appear in a windowsill. He gently ran a finger across the frame. Not wet here. Might not have to tear out all the piping after all. He shifted his attention back to the cabinet under the sink, looking for any stray moisture. That was when he heard a low groan. Leo froze and turned his head to listen. Air in the pipes? He waited. There it was again, but not from the sink. He got up and moved over to the kitchen wall. Another bubbling groan. He was getting closer to the source.

Leo spent several minutes walking up and down the hallway trying to find that misbehaving pipe. Could it be in the ceiling? There shouldn't have been any piping there but he supposed it was possible. He looked up and ambled out into the living room. There it was again. He almost had it. Leo stepped up to the couch. There. Must've been right on the spot. It was then that he realized the noise was coming from below. He glanced down, noticing Missy's mouth move in time with the noise. Damnit, she was fucking with him again. He opened his mouth to chastise her, but quickly shut it once he spotted the noticeably damp patches on her face that reflected back the television light.

Was she... crying? Leo's brow furrowed and he took a step back. She heaved with the noise, which sounded less like sobbing and more like a tortured groan. Immediately alarms went off in his head. She was fucking with you again. What reason would she have to cry anyways? She had it good. Leo shook his head and returned to the sink. At least that ruled out the noise and the need for hundreds of dollars in wall repair. Missy's groan grew louder. There was a shred of sadness prodding at his heart. As if he would feel bad for her. She had started far too many games and he sure as hell wasn't getting caught up in this one.

Leo glanced back, just in time for Missy to grow louder. Though there was always that infinitesimally small chance she wasn't faking it. So what? You should really try and cheer her up? Any problems she was having were strictly of her own design. That's why she was here in the first place after all. Another rattling groan escaped Missy. That noise was unbearable, though, like nails on a chalkboard, or maybe bones on a rusted pipe. He sighed. At least get her to stop. He opened his mouth, but paused in hesitation. Just do it. "You alright? he asked.

"I'm fine!" Missy warbled. Her voice sounded wrong, as if it were peeling away. 

Leo rounded the couch. "Are you sure?"

Missy looked up at him. There was a tinge of red in her eyes, which was a weird contrast to the usually stark white daggers that sat in her head. "You're gonna get rid of me, aren't you?" She barely managed to get out that last word before it bled away into a groan.

"You're still here, aren't you?"

Missy frowned. "I heard you on the fucking phone!"

Leo rubbed his eyes. "That was my boss, Missy. We're getting rid of an unused domain."

"Yeah?! After you said you wanted me to disappear?!"

"Why would I call anyone to tell them that?"

"I don't fucking know, you tell me!" She snarled and shoved her face into her large hands. "I don't know what to do and you're gonna get rid of me!"

That sadness wormed its way back into his thoughts again. You really are being taken advantage of here, you sap. He looked up at the ceiling, trying to figure out how to calm her down. "I was angry, OK? I didn't rally want you to just disappear." He couldn't quite tell if that was a lie. Leo eased onto the armrest. "I know I've been harsh but... but it's really hard to spend time with you." Maybe that wasn't the best way to put it. "I had it pretty good alone. Hard to deal with sudden change like that."

"You just hate me," she said plainly.

"If I hated you, you would already be out." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Look, you did well with the trash, alright?" Not a sentence he expected to ever say. "I meant it." For the most part. "If you keep up the work, I won't ever kick you out. Got it?"

"You still dislike me."

"How else am I supposed to take constant jokes and messing up my house?" He turned more toward her.

"How am I supposed to feel about you being so pissy?"

"OK, OK, I get it. I'll ease up if it makes you feel better, alright?" What next? A firm pat on the back? He winced at the thought. Missy wasn't exactly filthy, but the thought of touching her still made his skin crawl all the same. Missy lurched forward and groaned again. "Calm down." His hand reached out and gently patted her on the back. "I don't hate you and... you're getting better."

"You're just saying that!"

"What am I supposed to do to convince you, then?" Leo replied with a huff.

Missy pulled her head out of her palms, then looked up at him. Crying so vigorously didn't do her any favors for her appearance. Her fur became completely messy. In an instant, she stood up and brought Leo into a forceful hug, still sobbing all the way. His muscles twitched, trying to get away for a brief second before stopping. Should've just kept your trap shut, he chided himself. It wasn't a terrible experience. Missy was still soft, and the close hug only confirmed his suspicions about her fragility. She was like a stuffed toy. A stuffed toy with a broken pull string and voice box. Still, the experience was strange, and indeed she was practically a stranger. His personal space radar fired all the alarms.

The groaning woman hugged him tighter, her spindly fingers pushing into his skin. "Alright, alright," Leo said in defeat. He placed his arms around her, returning a gentle squeeze. Not too harsh, lest he snap her in two. Missy's sobbing died down, but hadn't quite extinguished. Truly a saint. "Is that better?" Only silence. Leo sat there in his awkward couch hug for what felt like an hour, but was probably closer to a minute or two. If this was a trick, he fell for it, hook, line, and sinker.

Missy pulled away and wiped her face. "Better?" Leo asked. Missy nodded with a whimper. "So you're fine now, right?" No response other than a sniffle of the nose. He'd probably have to wash his shirt. Her fur was all matted up from the tears and rubbing. "Go wash--" No, wait, he just fixed the pipes. "Just a second." He went off to grab a face towel, and came back to Missy. He gently grabbed her by the wrist, bringing her over to the kitchen sink. "I'm going to wash you up, OK?" She nodded and rubbed an eye. Leo ran water over the rag, then began cleaning up Missy's mess. "Didn't think you would explode like that."

"It's my last chance, OK?" she said dejectedly. Her voice was returning, which was far better on the ears.

Leo was going to tell her she should've known better, but the truth was, they still hardly knew one another. "Well, like I said, you keep up the good work and everything will be fine. Provided you're good about it."

"What does that mean?"

"You'll know when you break it."

"So you won't even tell me."

Leo held her by the shoulders. "Treat others as you want to be treated, Missy."

"That's rich coming from you," she said with a slight smile. 

"Missy." He returned to his cleaning.

"Alright, I get it." She looked away. "So that was really your boss on the phone?"

"Who else would I call 'Sir?'"

"I dunno, you seem like the kinda guy who would say that to everyone."

"Should I start calling you 'ma'am' then?" Leo replied.

"Fuck no. That would be too weird. That's only for old people."

"You're gonna get there eventually."

"For all you know, I could be immortal," Missy said, smile widening.

"Then"--he stopped to make sure she had been properly cleaned--"God help us all." Leo wiped her eye one last time. "Better now?"

"Yeah... Thanks."

"Good. Toss that robe into the wash. You've been rolling around in it all day."

"Not all day, but OK, fine." She pulled the thing off. "Can I ask you a question?"

"I don't see why not." Leo placed the rag in the sink.

"Why did you let me in?"

Now she was grilling him about it. "I guess I figured you weren't real, so it was fine." He knew that was a lie. "Plus I didn't know you would be staying so long."

"Sometimes I wonder if I'm fake. It's hard to tell when you get one guy to talk to, but at least you let me know I'm real," she said somberly.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I guess you're the only person in my life to really kick me in the ass."

"That explains a lot," Leo replied.

"Hey, I'm trying to find some compliment for you, jerk."

"That was a compliment?" Leo asked with a tilt of the head.

"Well, sorry! What else am I supposed to say?"

"How about thanks for the nice house? Or that I'm a hard worker?"

"I told you that you had a nice house when we reunited." Reunited. That was a funny way to put it.

"I thought that was a joke."

"Oh." Missy glanced away.

"Yeah." Now would be the perfect time for that apology that he deserved.

"Uh, anyways, what's for dinner?" And it didn't come.

Leo balled up the rag and tossed it into the kitchen sink. "Maybe you want to catch tonight's dinner?"

"Ugh, no, I'm just gonna go back to TV, thanks." Missy tottered back to the couch, tossing her robe onto the cushions. Leo sighed. Yeah, it probably would've been for the best if she wasn't real. At least he got a 'thanks', which might as well been the Holy Grail coming from Missy. He stared into the kitchen drain. How long would this really last? If she even changed for the better, would he want her around? Ever? Good joke, as if she even had the capacity to change at all. This was Missy at her worst, if Vernon was correct. She can only go up, right?


	12. Chapter 12

Leo settled in for the night, which meant that he turned onto his side and pulled the covers over his head. Originally he did it to block out Missy and by extension the television but he found it made the bed cohabitation a lot more tolerable in general. It was even comfortable to a degree. Good thing it was getting cold outside otherwise he'd have been sweating horribly. "Hey," a voice interrupted his thoughts, ripping him from sleep's grasp.

"What is it, Missy?" Leo asked, annoyed.

"You wanna do something before bed?" she asked.

"No, I'm in bed, I want to sleep." He flipped onto his side. "Turn that thing off when you're done."

"C'mon, don't you want to watch a movie before bed? When's the last time you even saw a movie, huh?"

Leo might've been upset about that loaded question were it not for the fact that he wasn't actually sure. "I'd just fall asleep anyways."

"Not if it's a good one. I know you watch like, movies from before they invented color or whatever."

Leo sat up, emerging out from the sheets. "And how do you know that?"

"You've got boxes full of old DVDs."

"Didn't I tell you not to rummage through my stuff?"

"Well, yeah, this was... before that."

"Uhuh." He blinked and looked at the television. Like usual, some utter nonsense was playing out on the television, rife with action and death. "You're just gonna watch a movie anyways."

"Yeah, but I thought we'd shake it up. Chat? You know, like people that share a bed would."

"We're not regular people that share a bed." Leo's eyes narrowed. "We shouldn't be doing it at all, but here we are thanks to my stupidity."

Missy crossed her arms. "Isn't it nice to have a warm body next to you?" she said all too seriously.

"Was that a joke?"

"Forget it. All I was thinking was we could have some fun for once."

"I think we have two very different ideas of fun."

"Hey, I did your chicken butchering, you sure thought that was fun. How about we do something that I think is fun for once?"

"I might gain a pound or two." 

Missy frowned. "You don't have to be a dick about this too." 

"Alright, fine," Leo said, rolling his eyes. "Next weekend we'll watch a movie, OK?" Wait, when was that? Today was... Friday, ugh. He rubbed his eyes. Too late to go back now.

"You promise?" Missy asked, instantly brightening up.

"Yes, I promise."

"Maybe I should get it in writing, just to make sure."

"Don't push your luck."

"I'll find us a good movie, don't you worry." Missy patted him on his bare arm, much to his discomfort.

"Are we done here? Can I go to sleep now?"

"Sure, sure." Missy waved her hand at him and turned off the television. "Go on to sleep," she said with an obvious smile in her voice. In the pitch black darkness all he could make out was her reflective eyes. She was weak, but she still had her unsettling moments.

"Thank you."

"You're very welcome." Leo decided not to ask what sort of ridiculous theater presentation she had in mind for the event. He turned away from her and closed his eyes. "You like popcorn, right?"

"I bought it, haven't I?"

"Just checking." There was a pause. "Do we have any snacks for it?"

"Missy," he started, keeping himself on a leash, "think about that in the morning, OK? Preferably to yourself."

"OK, OK, I'm just so excited! It's been a long time since I had a movie night."

Leo decided not to interject with the observation that every single night for her was a movie night. Instead he let her last words hang in the air and he happily fell asleep. As happily as he could have, anyways.  
_

Leo awoke up a little earlier than usual, having torn himself from a dream about being in one of those iron maiden devices. He reached out to shut off the alarm on his phone, and once he did, the nightmare came right back. He looked down to see Missy's arm wrapped around him and tucked under his side. Figures. Leo eased back onto the bed gently so as to not slice himself on her daggers. He glanced back at Missy to make sure she wasn't smiling. She seemed to be completely out. No sneer or devilish smile to torture him with. He gave her offending hand a tug, hoping she would adjust and slip away. Instead, she did the opposite, worming her way further underneath him and bringing him closer. Her snout dug into his back, causing him to flinch. 

As much as Leo didn't want to wake Missy, it seemed as though he had no option. "Missy," he said softly, not wanting to jerk her awake and turn him into sliced cheese. No movement. "Missy." She twitched. "Missy!" he hissed.

"Hmm?" she hummed. She took a deep breath and stretched her legs. "Shouldn't you be at work?" she mumbled.

"Even if I should, I can't move."

"That sounds like a you problem, Lion," she cooed.

"You're holding me in place!" Her arm wriggled in response, sending uneasy chills up his spine. "Yes, that one, good work. Can you move it, please?"

"Just a second," she said, huffing into his back.

"I need to get started on the day and you're really not helping."

"Oh yeah? To do what? Bang on pipes? Clean the walls?"

She was lucky she was half asleep, otherwise he'd have yelled her ears off. "I don't have time for this, just move."

Missy loudly yawned and smacked her lips. "OK, sorry, let me just"--she loudly strained--"move." She pulled her arm free and rolled away. "Have fun."

"Thank you," Leo said with a shake of the head. He got up an worked out some kinks in his back. No doubt laying on a bony arm didn't exactly help his spine. Missy loudly gasp. "What? What is it now?"

"Oh fuck! I'm sorry! I didn't-- Just-- Just stay right there I'll get something for it!"

"What?" Leo replied. He turned to look back at Missy but she had already bolted out of the bed.

"Shit!" There was some fumbling in the bathroom. "I didn't mean it!" Leo furrowed his brow and glanced around the room. It wasn't in any worse condition than it was last night. His eyes flicked to where he had laid on the bed, quickly spotting a small spatter of red on the sheets. Huh? Leo looked down and found the source, a small cut on his side. Even after noticing it, it didn't hurt. Missy burst back into the room, crushing a box of bandages and shakily holding one out. "Sorry! Sorry!" She dropped the box. Leo reached down and snatched it up, and in the process, grabbed her wrist.

"Easy. It's just a small scratch." Missy stared daggers into the wound. "Thanks for the band-aid." Although it was your fault.

"Sorry!"

"I accept your apology, so hush." He took the bandage from her hand and released her wrist. "Be careful with your knives in the future."

"Yes! Sorry!" Missy crossed her arms tightly.

"Just stop saying you're sorry. I get it." At least she seemed legitimately concerned, but concerned for who was the question. He placed a bandage over the cut and smoothed it out. Leo would've much rather just wash it off, but he doubted Missy would be fine with that. "You gored that grouse, aren't you fine with blood?" Leo joked deadpan.

"That's not funny, Leo," Missy said, arms still crossed. She rocked back and forth. "Are we still gonna watch that movie?"

"Unless this scratch does me in."

"Leo!"

"Yes, we are. I already said we would." Leo looked at the splotch on the bed, then back to Missy. "Can you do something for me? Just take off the sheets and put them in the hamper, OK? You can do that, right?"

"Yeah." Missy nodded.

"Don't rip them."

"I won't!" She immediately got to work despite Leo still sitting on the bed. He got up as she yanked on the sheets underneath him. Briefly, he considered monitoring her progress, but figured if she could handle trash, she could handle wrapping up some sheets. Hopefully. He prepared himself for a shower and left the room.

After refreshing himself and confirming the wound in his side was a light scratch, he checked back in on Missy. Surprisingly she did it well, though it was a task any five year old could do. Missy was currently lounging on the bed and running her hand across it. "You're supposed to lay on it only when there's sheets," Leo said.

"It's super soft though."

"Just don't get your fur on it, otherwise it's never coming out."

"I'm not shedding fur for the winter or anything."

"Tell that to the blockage in my sink," Leo replied. Missy huffed and stood up. He went to his dresser and picked out his clothing for the day. It occurred to him that his embarrassment of being in front of Missy had long since faded. He couldn't tell if that was a good or bad thing, but he supposed he'd have to get used to it eventually. "You pick out a movie?"

Missy perked up, eyes widening. "Uh, no, what kinda movie you wanna see?"

Leo furrowed his brow. "You're asking me that now?"

"Sorry, thought you'd get all grumpy if I asked." She looked down at the bandage on his side. "You're OK, right? I didn't cut like, an artery or anything?"

"Considering I'm still standing, I don't think so." He paused. "You do know there aren't any arteries there, right?"

"OK college boy. It's not like I went to school and got straight A's in case you didn't realize."

"You do have a computer with literally limitless knowledge though."

"You told me not to touch that."

Leo smiled and shook his head. "C'mon, Missy, you didn't really listen to me when I said that."

Missy shrugged. "It's boring OK? Not like I could use any of that info anyways when I'm stuck at home."

Leo shrugged back. "Could teach me, you know."

"As if a genius like you needs to be taught anything." Leo wasn't sure if that was asskissing or not. "I'd rather be doing something fun."

Leo shut his dresser and walked away. "Improving yourself is always fun, Missy. At least learn anatomy before you do some real damage." She was using it to take care of her needs anyways, might as well let her do something more productive with it.

"OK, professor!" Missy called out. Not the worst name he's gotten.

Leo walked out into the living room and glanced around for the day's project, or at least distraction. Not going outside, he didn't feel like having fowl for dinner. He wasn't in a particularly exercising mood either, nor did he even want to think if anything needed fixing. Getting riled up over another busted pipe wouldn't suit him this early in the morning. Maybe he should finally go through storage and get rid of all the junk. While sorting through a bunch of plastic tubs didn't sound like anything particularly productive, it was something to at least do and maybe get a new room out of it. He crossed the living room and stepped inside the trove of wasted space.

Despite being an assembly of pointless junk, Leo had still organized it fairly well, or at least to the point where he knew how things were categorized. As expected, though, Missy had already gone through a few of them and didn't bother covering them back up. Must've gotten bored fairly quickly, figures. He stepped over to the piled plastic repositories and peered inside. This was plain junk he had amassed over the years that possibly could've served some future purpose. He started sifting through the thing, setting aside anything that seemed possibly useful, what little there was.


	13. Chapter 13

Box after box, Leo went through and dug up any reusable junk. Wires, batteries, ancient software disks. Though that was just the technology stuff. Then came the more random bits of useless memorabilia like books, VHS tapes, and novelty shirts. "Wow, is that a floppy disk?" Missy said suddenly. Leo turned back to see her shaking the flimsy plastic about. "I haven't seen one of these in years!"

"Put that down," Leo said.

"Do you even have a floppy drive? It must've been like, a century since I've seen one."

"You're gonna break it."

"Oh yeah, I'm sure you definitely need"--she flipped it over and looked at the label--"TurboTax 2002."

Leo shrugged. "You never know what could be useful." He nodded to the door. "Shouldn't you be picking out a movie for us to watch?" He turned back to the piles of junk and continued sifting. "Better be something good."

"It is, don't worry." She gasped and let the disk drop to the ground. "Wow!" She dug into a box and pulled out an action figure of a robot. "Didn't think you'd keep stuff like this. I think I remember this toy."

"It was in the stuff my parents packed. I just never bothered tossing it out." How long ago was that now?

"You can't toss this out." Missy waved the thing in front of him. "This is a... a relic of the past!" she said with a smile.

"Or junk. Where would I even put this?" What was that, a Transformer?

"Do you remember when we'd play with action figures?"

"No." Leo closed the lid on another container.

"Cars?"

"No."

"Climbing trees?" Missy said, exasperated.

"N--" Leo pursed his lips. "I remember you falling from a lot of trees. Not so much climbing them."

"You did a lot of falling too, you know. I can't believe you don't remember the stuff we did together."

Leo shrugged. "Must've not have been that good." He returned to his sorting. Unlabelled CD? Might as well keep that.

"Or maybe you got knocked over the head!" She inched up to him and stared at his head. Fortunately she didn't put her hands on him. "Any bumps?"

"I think I'd remember that." He pulled out a book that Missy quickly snatched up. "Hey!"

"I just wanna take a look, OK? You said it's all junk anyways." Her eyes instantly lit up as she went through it. "Is this a yearbook? I've heard so much about these!" Leo rounded Missy and looked at what she was gawking at. That was a yearbook alright. High school. "Dude, where are you? I wanna see what you looked like." Leo considered snatching it back from her, but that would probably only fuel her eccentricities and make her more curious.

"I don't remember," Leo lied. He went back to the last of the boxes.

"You sure you weren't hit over the head? You don't remember a thing."

"I've got much more important things now. I've got a job. I've got a house. All those things were just stepping stones."

Missy hummed. "Yeah, I'm sure..." She continued flipping through the book. Honestly, Leo's curiosities had also begun stirring. It had been several years since he even thought about high school. Not that it was miserable, but he supposed he had exaggerated expectations from every bit of media he had ever seen about it. He stared at the book for a while. Maybe he had forgotten some things there too. There was a strange draw to looking at it again, but he refused. That was behind him now. He didn't need to reminisce.

"L... L... L... Leo! Leo Davis!" She giggled. "I honestly expected you to look a lot dorkier. No glasses?"

Leo shook his head. "No glasses. Unlike some people, I didn't look at the sun." Leo briefly wondered what Missy would do if she had poor eyesight. Not like she could just stroll into an optician's place and ask for a test. She probably wouldn't look bad in a pair of glasses, though. Hm. "You done gawking?"

"No. I wanna see if there are any other pictures of you."

"Probably not."

"If you say so." She continued flipping. "Was high school fun? Never been."

"It was alright. Felt like a waste of time, but I got it done." He closed the lid on the last of the boxes. The little pile of useful things he amassed was set to the side, so all he had to do now is toss out the boxes. Maybe for another day. Lunch was more on his mind now, having skipped breakfast.

"Were you in a club? That's where you made all your friends, right?"

"I was in the student council, if that counts."

"That's not a club, that's for all the nerds who wanted power over others."

Leo frowned. "I think you've watched too much TV. It was just to get us used to administration positions."

Missy pulled her head out of the book. "We could start a club. That'd make up for not having one in high school, right?"

"A club with two people is hardly a club." Leo shook his head. "What would we do anyways?" He walked back to Missy's side, just in time for a full picture of the school to come into view. Those weren't bad times at all, no. He could almost smell the pine cones and hear the distant yelling of kids doing all sorts of stupid things. Being an adult was better, but he had to admit there was a charm to having little more care in the world than what letter you got on a piece of paper.

"This place doesn't look half bad. If I went to high school I'd definitely want to go here."

"Not sure you'd have the grades for it."

"I would! If I could hold a pencil, anyways."

"Could just dip a claw in ink."

"Gross." Leo snatched the book right back from Missy. "Aw, c'mon, I wanted to see more!"

"You had your fill for the day." Leo eyed the box for a moment before tossing the book in the 'keep' pile. "I'm done with this for the day anyways. Don't you have a movie to start?"

Missy flicked her attention between the boxes and Leo. It couldn't be more painfully apparent how much she wanted to dig. "We're doing that now?"

"Why not? Unless you had something else planned? I doubt it." He nudged the plastic bins back into place along the wall and gathered up what little he took from them. "Get it ready, I'm gonna make lunch."

"Ever heard of pizza?" Missy asked with a tilt of the head.

Leo began to walk out of the room. "The grease is already giving me a heart attack. No, we're not having pizza. I'd rather not torture a poor teenager to come out all this way either," he said. Leo retrieved a plastic bag from the kitchen and set his selection of knick knacks inside, then set them aside next to the couch for later storage. What to make for lunch? 

"I don't want another sandwich," Missy said as she passed the kitchen. "Those things are so hard to grab." That narrowed it down a small amount. He still had some chicken stock leftover. Soup for lunch it is. 

"What'd you pick out?" Leo asked as he started assembling all of the ingredients. Could probably use carrots too, before they go bad. "Not something terribly dumb, I hope." He stopped and looked to one of the cabinets next to the fridge. Maybe they could have something a little better for a movie. After all, what was a flick without some snacks? She deserved at least that, right? Not really, but slurping down a bowl for a movie didn't come across as appealing.

"It's not dumb! I can be sophisticated too, ya know."

"I'll believe you if you actually know how to spell sophisticated." No response. That settles that. "Action? Drama? Romance?"

"Romance? What am I? An overweight woman in her forties?" Leo could see her messing with the TV.

"That's awfully specific," he replied as he reached down. Leo made sure she wasn't looking his way before pulling out a bag of peanut M&M's. Those were better than plain chocolate. Might as well get some popcorn to go with it.

"No, that's just how it is. Look, it'll be a surprise, so you just wait and see, OK? I absolutely promise you won't be disappointed."

"What if I am?"

Missy stopped her fiddling. "Then I guess you're disappointed! Tough!" Yeah, that sounded about right. Tough.  
_

"I knew you were hiding something from me," Missy said as she looked at the bowl of M&M's Leo set out. They were placed right next to a large bowl of popcorn. "I could smell it too."

"What?"

"I've seen you down at least a Kit-Kat or two, but I could never find them." She picked up a chocolate treat with her claws. "I can smell them, though."

"All I have is the M&M's, take it or leave it."

"You're holding out on me!" Missy said with a grin.

"Disappointed? Tough," Leo replied.

"Disappointed? Do you know how funny it is to imagine you wolfing down ten bars of chocolate?" She tittered. "Very."

Leo grabbed some of the chocolate for himself. "That would probably give you diabetes and then kill you a few minutes later."

"It's good to know you're human."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Leo asked, munching down on one of the treats.

"Nothing, nothing." Missy shook her head and carefully plucked out another M&M. Leo figured the only reason she didn't try and snag the whole bowl was due to her large hands. Good thinking on his part to pick out a smaller one. "I think I'd like a Kit-Kat more."

Leo shrugged. "Got none."

"Anyone ever tell you that you're a bad liar?"

"People only tell that to liars."

"So you're saying you ate them all?" Missy took another M&M and leaned toward Leo. "That would be a sight to behold."

Leo shook his head "Is that a USB in the television?"

"Well yeah, how else was I supposed to get the movie on there?"

"I thought you were going to use one of those free streaming things."

Missy cocked her head and clutched the remote to her chest. "This is free. No worries." Leo narrowed his eyes. "Honest."

"Really hope you didn't do anything you'll regret."

"You really sound like a villain sometimes, you know?"

"I'd like to know which of the two of us is a villain, honestly." He popped another chocolate. "So get it started before I regret ever having bought this thing."

"Right! Right." Missy hit play and set the remote down. Her excitement was tempered but still present as she leaned forward and clasped her hands together, eyes wide. That was the kind of look a predator would give before devouring some helpless prey, and with her, it probably wasn't far off. Leo turned his attention back to the screen. He furrowed his brow once he saw what he could only assume was Japanese text fill the screen before being hit by a monstrous roar. "Classic!" Missy said, giddiness overflowing. Before long, an absurd title sequence played out in which it almost seemed like the bizarre alien lettering was fighting with itself. Then generic white English lettering was laid atop the mess. Godzilla-something-something-something or other. He probably should've seen that coming. Missy turned to him. "Classic, right?"

"Sure. Arguably." Leo gave a hesitant nod. Watching men in poorly ventilated rubber suits punching each other wasn't exactly his idea of a fun afternoon, but he supposed there could've been far worse choices Missy could have taken. Not that he could actually think of anything worse.

"You've seen Godzilla, haven't you?"

"I might've seen one on DVD ages ago," Leo said with a bemused shrug. "The... one in New York or something."

"That doesn't count!" Missy snapped. "Don't ever bring that one up again."

"Alright." Not wanting to probe on the absurd reaction, Leo returned his attention to the television where droll human characters kicked off the plot. "I thought this was about a lizard," Leo said.

"You need a human connection before you can start to see the monster, OK? It's not as cool if he just starts punching buildings."

Leo opted to shut up and watch the ridiculous plot play out. Not that he was all that caught up on it. Subtitles certainly weren't his forte and he found himself slightly lagging behind on what they were saying. Eventually that human stuff dropped and the titular monster made its appearance. That wasn't a bad effect, he figured. Clearly someone in an ill-fitting lizard outfit, but he supposed it had its charm. It even had an animatronic mouth that moved, giving it at least some believability, as silly as it was. Missy was completely enamored with every second of it, though Leo noted that occasionally she would catch herself and relax. 

"There's two of them?" Leo asked as another rubbery menace made its way onto the silver screen. "Isn't there enough space taken up by one mutant lizard already?"

"G-man needs a rival to pummel. That's how it goes."

"I don't remember there being another one in--"

"That one doesn't count, I told you!"

"Alright..." She hadn't even downed as many M&M's as he expected. "At least eat while you watch. I set those out for you too. The popcorn is getting cold too."

"Yeah, yeah." Missy plucked out more candy and dug out some popcorn, loudly smacking her lips as she downed them. That was about as good as he'd get, Leo supposed. "Isn't this cool? The effects still hold up." She looked back at him, clearly gauging his reaction. Not as though there was much depth to be found here. The greener one punched the smaller, pinkish one and that was apparently a bad thing, though he could've sworn the titular character was supposed to be rooted for, at least somewhat. "Eh? Eh?"

"You do know these are men in suits, right?"

Missy's expression dropped. "You're a man in a suit sometimes, does that make you any less cool?"

Leo was almost baffled by her response. "Is that a rhetorical question?"

Missy turned her attention back to the television screen. She was getting a little too into the battle, occasionally clawing at the air when one of them would strike the other. For better or worse, she was completely hypnotized by it. The thought was odd, but Leo found some slight jealousy in her enthusiasm. While there was slight amusement in the idea of two giant monsters giving themselves bruises, he probably couldn't even work up the energy to actually invest himself so deeply into it. This was almost like seeing a fan at a sport event getting rowdy over which colored team pushed the ball in whatever arbitrary way, which he didn't understand the excitement for either. He silently munched away at his chocolate, trying to extract the same amount of enjoyment Missy was neck-deep in.

"Radiation blast!" The screen lit up with a blue beam, which only enticed Missy further. She still flicked her attention back to Leo every now and again. He wasn't sure if he should feign some sort of interest so as to placate her or just sit there and hope reptile bile pulled her attention away. At the very least he was getting into it a bit more, though no real thanks to monster punch ups. The human characters, while somewhat shallow, still had some reasonable goals he could root for in his own way. What better a hero than one who still goes to work when monstrous armageddon is lurking right around the corner? It was also quite a neat juxtaposition when they used differing sets to imply a grander set of scale. For all its silliness, there was an extreme craftsmanship to the whole production.

Before long, there were even more monsters joining the punch up. A horned rat thing, a butterfly, a huge three headed dragon thing. Admittedly there was an amusing factor to the movie one-upping itself like that. "I thought the Godzilla was a good guy," Leo said.

Missy started explaining without glancing away from the screen, "Not this one. He's a very angry blob of souls and has to fight these three guardians and--"

Leo held up a hand. "Alright, I think I get the picture." Not even a little bit. Leo couldn't help but smile at her burst of an explanation. It was good to have her energy directed at something that wasn't anything that belonged to him. 

After many more scenes of monster brutality and the murder of innocents, the movie climaxed with something about a submarine and an explosive device, finally destroying the lizard. An awfully gruesome end that thoroughly surprised him. Cue credits. Instantly, Missy snapped to him, eyes still wide. "So? Was it good or what?" Leo fought the urge to reply with 'or what'. "Classic, right?" She tilted her head. "Better than the American one."

Leo nodded. "I guess I can agree on that point."

"You have to. It's fact." She scooted over to Leo. "So which one was your favorite?"

"One what?"

"You know, monster! The stars of the show!"

The man looked back to the screen and shrugged. "I don't know. What about the three headed one that sounded like it was being strangled?" Something like a Chinese dragon or other. Looked a little goofy with its wings. "That one was kind of cool. Shooting... lightning?"

"Good choice," Missy said with a nod and a tap of the chin. "Did you like the movie?" The honesty in her expression was surprising. 

"I guess. I liked the sets--"

"I know, right?" Missy leaned in closer. "Did you know if they screw up a shot they have to build the whole thing over again? Isn't that crazy?!"

"Huh." Leo looked back to the screen. "That's pretty impressive."

Missy pulled back slightly. "Yeah?"

"Yeah, I mean, that's a lot of detail to go into them."

"You don't think it's stupid or silly or a waste of time?"

"No."

"...You wanna watch another movie then?" Leo immediately pulled out his phone to check the time. It was only 12? Felt a lot later than that. Maybe he should put a clock up in the living room. He looked back to Missy, who had crossed her arms and was looking intently at him. Was there something else he had to do on the schedule? He placed a hand on his chin in wonder. There was still the matter of the rain gutters he could clean out. "Hmm?" She tapped her fingers on her arms.

"You didn't pick out another movie, did you?"

"We can always check and see what catches your eye. Right?" She uncrossed her arms. "Right?"

If there was nothing else he could be doing then... He supposed it would be fine. Still, a nagging voice at the back of the head told him he was wasting his time. Leo pursed his lips. "Alright, fine."

Missy tugged on his pants. "C'mon then. I have the laptop set up in the bedroom."

"You can move it, you know. Just bring it out here."

"The internet connection is the best in there." Somehow, Leo doubted that, but he had never actually bothered to run any tests like that. Leo decided just to go with her charade and followed her into his bedroom. Missy made sure to pull out the USB from the TV before leaving. Indeed, the laptop was set up in the middle of the bed. Missy immediately pounced on the mattress and settled in front of the computer. She patted on his side of the bed. His side of the bed? Ugh, that's what it was now, huh? He sat down and looked to the screen. "Look, there's a whole list of everything you could ever want."

Leo immediately picked up on a keyword 'Torrent'. "Missy, this is illegal," he said, pointing to the screen.

"Nuh-uh! It's legally grey. I looked it up."

"Did you really? I don't think the ISP would be too happy about it either. Let's just use one of those free streaming things."

"Oh yeah, pfft, like they're really gonna trade your cash for integrity." Missy patted his leg. "It's fine. Mr. ISP man isn't going to knock on your door and kick you in the dick. They haven't ever bothered my last roommates."

"Alright, fine, but if I get a letter you're not downloading a thing ever again, got it?"

"Sure, sure." Missy nodded. "You won't get a better selection anywhere else!" She shifted the computer to face him. "Anything from Airplane to... some movie that starts with a Z."

"You should have narrowed it down. Now it's hard to think of a movie I'd want to watch."

"You have to make everything a challenge, huh?"

"It's my specialty." Leo watched Missy carefully scroll down with the laptop's touch pad. At least she was being careful with it, but eventually he shooed her hand away and started scrolling for her. "Just pick out something before I get bored, OK?"

"The Dark Crys-- No, no that's just muppets. Uhh... What about another Godzilla, huh?"

"No, I've had enough lizard in my diet today, thanks."

"Alright, keep scrolling. We'll find something." Leo quickly lost interest in the screen, instead turning his attention to the hallway and wondering all the better things he could be doing right now. Like cleaning the toilet, for one. "How's about Star Wars?"

"You mean Star Trek?"

"No, I meant Star Wars. You know, the not boring one, where stuff actually happens in it and people don't talk for ten hours."

"I'm not getting into that." Leo shook his head.

"Good, because I'll probably fall asleep if you do."

After scrolling, and scrolling, and more scrolling, and more movies Leo hadn't ever heard of, Missy finally said, "Uh-oh."

"Uh-oh? What do you mean uh-oh?" Leo snapped back to the laptop screen. "What?"

"It's... it's not scrolling." Indeed, it wasn't, regardless of what Leo tried.

"Alright, maybe the page locked up." He clicked on the taskbar below. Nothing. He clicked on the little X to close out the window. Nothing. He sighed and began clicking all over the screen in frustration. Then, as if to answer his question, the computer switched to a blue screen with an obnoxious frowny face. Fucking Windows. "Goddamnit."

"Sorry, I didn't think--" Leo loudly clasped his hand shut. Idiot, shouldn't have agreed to this. Trying to keep his cool, Leo forcibly restarted the thing and started it up in safe mode. He wished he had bothered to read up on computer safety properly. His antivirus appeared to be working, or at least from what he could tell after it took a minute to bring its menu up. He huffed and opened up the task bar to no avail. Could've been a virus. It probably was a virus. Or the thing was just old and Missy messing with it finally put it over the edge, which was still his fault either way. For the most part.

"I probably needed to replace this thing anyways," Leo said. That didn't ease him one bit. He shut the thing and pushed it away.

"...You're not angry then?"

"I'm pissed, but not at you."

"Phew." Missy shut her mouth and looked around the room. "Do you still wanna watch another movie? We could use one of those free things," she said, rubbing her arm. Leo was about to deny her. Seemed absolutely ridiculous now, but frankly his computer kicking the bucket killed any enthusiasm for housework.

Leo looked to the television screen. "Alright fine, just one more. Get the remote."

"You got it, boss!"


	14. Chapter 14

Leo found himself laying in bed after another long day. This day, however, felt particularly and tortuously prolonged. Maybe it was because he had actually agreed to watching another movie with Missy after the first two. What was he thinking? The whole day was whittled away, giving him little time to go over and organize his collection of lures. Whatever, all that mattered now was that she wasn't watching television all night, bringing him some peace, or it would matter if he could get to sleep.

"Psst, hey," Missy whispered. "You awake?"

Leo stared up at the ceiling. "Yes." Even if he shouldn't be.

"How?"

"What do you mean 'how'?"

"You're usually out like a light in a few minutes."

That was a good question. "Probably because I still feel like I should be doing something. I wasted my time watching movies instead."

"I thought you had fun."

Leo mulled over that for a second. It wasn't like it was a painful experience. "Maybe."

"So what's the problem?"

"The problem is it wasn't productive."

"You need to relax once in a while."

"That's how I relax."

"You wanna know how I relax?"

"You rot in bed and watch television?"

"Sometimes." Missy rolled over to Leo's side. "And sometimes I get a little touch, down there."

Leo turned onto his side, away from Missy. "Why are you bringing this up?"

"I was just thinking, maaaaaybe we could both do something productive!"

He draped an arm over his eyes. "Missy, the last thing I want to do is touch you."

"That's not what you said when we were slicing that chicken." She patted his back. "I mean, I used those hands to--"

"Don't. Don't say it."

Missy chuckled. "Alright, alright, sorry." She scooted away. "It was just too easy." Leo breathed a sigh of relief and closed his eyes. The thought of getting away from here as fast as possible helped to speed along his trip to dreamland. "It's kinda hard with the claw--"

"Missy!"

"OK, OK." There was a long pause. Leo thought he might actually be free for a moment. "Can I ask you a question?" He wasn't.

"What is it?"

"Do you do that?"

"What?" Leo asked.

"You know, jerk off?" Leo forced his arm into his face more. "I remember I could smell it a lot on the last guys I lived with, but you've got nothing." Gross.

"You asked your question, Missy. Good night." Didn't say she'd get an answer.

Missy hummed. "Alright. Good night."  
_

"Hey, Leo, wake up," an annoying voice urged. Leo opened his eyes to that familiar wall and realized it was gonna be another slow day. A few seconds later his alarm went off. A black, gangly hand reached over him to shut it off. "Leo, it's morning now."

"I can see that." Leo rubbed his eyes. "What do you want, Missy?"

"I thought we'd watch a movie with breakfast!" She placed a hand on his shoulder and gently shook him. "Whaddya say?"

"With breakfast? Missy, I'd be done eating before the movie is even halfway done." He sat up with a groan. Leo's head was pounding. Must've had a terrible night. That was probably true, knowing Missy. He looked back to see Missy with that trademark wicked smile and already swaddled in his old robe. "How long have you been up?"

"At least a few hours now. You know, you don't snore. It's weird. I thought all guys snored, but like, when I was watching you, you were entirely quiet."

Leo turned away. No wonder his head was throbbing. His instincts were probably screaming for him to run far, far away. "Don't watch me while I sleep. Thanks."

"Well what else did you want me to do? I didn't wanna turn on the TV and interrupt your dreams." She crawled over and sat down next to Leo. "So, what do you say to another movie?"

"Why do you want to watch another movie? Aren't you sick of them?" Leo stretched and twisted his back, wincing upon hearing a particularly loud crack. He wasn't working that hard, was he? Not working hard enough, more like. "You watch them every single night."

"Nope! Not last night!"

"Well, every other night." He stood up and went through the motions of the day. "Look, you can watch a movie if you want but I'm tired of them for now, alright?"

"I just uh, wanted to do something together."

Leo turned to look at her again. "What?"

"What?"

"You want to do something with me?" He furrowed his brow. "What's the catch?"

"C'mon, no catch. I just figure, ya know, old friends, livin' together, probably forever, I thought it'd be good if we did stuff together!" She tilted her head and shrugged.

Leo decided not to shatter her dreams of leeching off of him forever. "We have to do something we both like, Missy."

"Not true, couples do things one them don't like."

"I can see the mistake now, Missy. We're not a couple." He glanced at the bed. Well, despite literally all the evidence saying otherwise. Leo pointed at himself. "I'm a guy." He pointed to Missy. "You're a monster." He then pointed up. "We live under a roof."

"So that's it then, you don't like me because I'm not human, huh?" She raised her hands and bared her teeth. "Rawr."

"That's not it." Leo tossed a towel over his shoulder and shook his head. "You really have a long way to go, Missy." That was as lightly as he could put it.

Missy lowered her arms. "So you're saying I have a chance, huh?" She nibbled on a claw. "That's good to hear."

"When hell freezes over, give me a call, OK?" Leo walked out into the hallway.

"Should be easy! Being a monster, I have an express HOT-line to Satan."

"Work on your jokes too while you're at it." Into the bathroom.

"Oh, c'mon, Lion! That was a good one!" And shut the bathroom door. Soon there was a knock on the door. "Hey, Leo, I got an idea."

Leo peeled that bandage off from the day before and tossed it out. "What is it Missy?" He almost expected the wound to keep bleeding. Probably some weird monster thing she had, but no, it had healed nicely.

"Look, I was browsing the internet yesterday and found this really, really, really cool video."

"Yeah?" He wiped down where the cut was.

"OK, no, it was actually super boring, but I think it would be fun if we did it together!" She tapped on the door.

"Is it something you think is fun or are you just screwing around?"

"It'll be fun. You know how your computer sucks now?"

"Because of you? Yeah, go on."

"Ugh, well, I was thinking we could make a computer! You know, like LEGO."

Leo splashed water on his face to really wake himself up. "Missy, I'm gonna guess you don't actually know the first thing about making a computer. Is that right?"

"Well duh, but we can look it up. Like you said"--she cleared her throat and put on a stupid mocking voice--"the Internet has limitless knowledge."

"No, I said the computer has limitless knowledge."

"Same thing."

"Where are you gonna use the internet now?"

"Your phone. Where else?"

"I'm not letting you touch my phone."

"C'mon, we could learn together then." There was a pause. "You did want me to improve myself, right? What better way than to learn how to do something like that?"

"Because one, I really don't think you're gonna follow through with it, and two, I've got better things I could be doing."

"It'll still be your computer, and c'mon, you can just stop if I don't 'follow through' with it." Leo supposed she was right there. The work computer did do just about everything he needed, but it would be good to do something from home once in a while, especially if something came up. Not to mention he actually did occasionally like to watch a video or two on it. "I'd like an answer this year, please!"

"Alright, fine, but this is entirely on you." And his hard earned cash for the rest. Shouldn't cause too much of a dent. He hoped.

"Cool, cool! I'm thinking we--"

"Not now, Missy, I need to take a shower."

"Oh, yeah, OK."  
_

After refreshing himself with a warm shower, Leo redressed and braced himself for the monster outside the door. He opened the door, and yep, she was there. "So like I was saying, we could find out the parts we need, watch the videos, and then assemble it!" 

"Couldn't you have picked a better time to talk about this?" Leo asked as he headed back to his room.

"It's not like you're busy doing anything now, right? I thought I'd catch you early before you start feeding the birds or hammering the walls or whatever." She rushed over to his side as he put on his pants. "Hey! We could start right now!" Leo pulled away.

"Shouldn't you be figuring out what the best position to sleep in is?"

Missy frowned. "No, that's boring."

"Why do you really want to do this, Missy? If it's gonna be my computer I really rather you didn't touch it at all." He slipped on a shirt and straightened it out. "You just want another thing to mess with, right? I'm right, aren't I?"

"Can't I just want to do something with a friend?" she replied simply.

Leo considered her words for a moment. The way she said that didn't sit right with him. It sounded honest for one, or at least lacked any obvious trickery, which unsettled him somewhat. "You think it's going to be fun?"

"Anything is fun with friends, isn't it?"

Hm. "Well, you could always help me around the house. Should be fun, right?" He raised his eyebrows.

Missy held up a finger. "Let me put a huge asterisk on that."

"Yeah, I thought so." He looked down at the ground, then back up to Missy. "Not gonna back out on this?"

"Nope." Missy vigorously shook her head.

Leo sighed. This was either the start of something good, or absolutely terrible. He reached into his pocket and fished out his phone. Missy's eyes instantly lit up. He held it out, then pulled it back as Missy swiped at it. "You don't do anything except figure out how to put a computer together, alright?" Leo rolled his eyes. "I know you're going to screw around anyways. Just don't mess with any of my stuff, and the second I get a phone call, you bring it right back to me. Got it?"

Missy nodded and held out her hands.

"Got it?" Leo said again.

"Yes, yes, I got it!" Leo placed the device in her hands. She held onto it tightly and looked up at Leo. "Aren't you gonna help me with it, though?"

"I need to do at least one thing around the house or I'm gonna lose it." He shrugged. "Plus, I'll make sure you actually stick to it without me." Not that he exactly knew what went into a computer himself, but if she actually bothered to do the research, he could learn a thing or two from her. That'll be the day, huh?

"I'm not gonna let you down!"

"We'll see," Leo replied. Missy scampered off and hopped onto the bed. Leo watched her get to work. He expected her to struggle with the phone, and was promptly surprised to see her easily navigate it. No doubt she had years of experience wasting time on those little bricks. She had placed it in front of her, holding it steady with one hand while diligently swiping away at it with the other. Leo gave a silent prayer, then went off on his task for the day. It was going to be a little bit harder to do knowing he actually willingly gave an expensive object to Missy.


	15. Chapter 15

Leo spent his time fretting over his ruined laptop in the living room. First he ran through the usual corporate list of fixes. Turning it off and on? Nope. Safe mode? Nothing. Shaking it vigorously? Maybe it helped his nerves, but it did nothing to bring the thing back up to speed. He turned on the television for some background noise. Staring at this screen started to wear on him. He looked back at his bedroom, hoping he didn't just toss away a good five hundred bucks by letting a beast of the night hold onto his phone. Don't focus on that, just focus on... the other thing that she broke. To be fair, he did agree to letting her use it. For the most part.

Every so often, Leo could hear Missy watching something. It was completely up in the air if it was actually educational. He shook his head and forced himself back onto the laptop. There had to be something he could do to fix it. He was a handiman, he could fix it. Somehow. Missy giggled in the background. OK, that was enough, he had to check in on her. Leo closed the laptop and walked back into his bedroom.

Missy hadn't budged from her spot, still staring at that phone in her hands. "So? Figure it out yet?" Leo said, arms crossed.

The monstress looked up at him. "Not yet. There's a lotta parts that go into it."

"What was so funny?"

Missy smiled and held up the phone. "These guys look like huge dorks." Yeah, that sounded like something she would laugh at. 

Leo went over and sat down next to her. "Learn anything other than that?" Had his prayers come through?

"I know we need some main parts. Simple stuff. Harddrive, motherboard, CPU, RAM, ca--"

"Do you know how to put it all together?"

"Easy, I'm getting there." Missy rolled her eyes. "Don't expect me to learn everything in an hour. These guys go on and on about the dumbest things."

"I imagine they're going on and on about the things you should be learning about."

"Nah. They just say stuff like how the first commercially available stick of RAM was sold by Intel and only had one kibit of capacity in the year 1970."

Leo furrowed his brow. "Uhuh." He couldn't choose whether he was more baffled by what she was saying or by her having bothered to memorize something so specific without missing a beat. "And how does that help us?"

"It doesn't! That's why it's dumb." She rolled over onto her back, snuggling up next to his leg. "I wasn't even alive in 1970 and the computers back then were only like, spreadsheet machines."

"Hey, you learned something though, right?" Mission success.

Missy narrowed her eyes. "And what am I supposed to do with that junk? Go on Jeopardy?"

"If you can, sure, but don't you feel better just knowing something?" Leo gave a hint of a smile to accentuate his point.

"I'd feel better knowing what goes on in your head." Missy reached out and tapped Leo on the nose. Kinda creepy seeing her stretch out like that, which contrasted against her curly hair splayed out on the bed. The sunlight hit it just right to make it glimmer a little. "Don't stare. You're scaring me."

"I thought you had crumbs on your face." Leo turned his attention to the phone, plucking it from her hand. At least she seemed to be doing her job. "How much is it going to cost overall? That's the really important part."

"That depends on how good of a computer you want." She looked around the room. "Hey, what do you even care how much it costs? Look at this house! I bet your paychecks have so many zeroes."

Leo sighed. "Even if I got paid a lot--"

"You do!"

"I would still want to be as economical as possible with my purchase. That's how you manage money." He looked back down at Missy. "That's how I even have this house."

Missy stretched and groaned. "Well, don't look at me. I don't touch money."

"With good reason."

"No. I just can't make money." She stuck out her tongue. "Unless..."

"Unless what?" That couldn't be good.

"Unless you gave me an allowance!" Her face instantly lit up. "How about it, Leo?"

"Step back for a second." He held up a hand. "Where would you use money?"

Missy shrugged. "I dunno. To be honest I just like the idea. Like in those heist movies when they get the cash and toss it everywhere like confetti. That looks fun."

"I'm not letting you do that with cash. Do you know how filthy the stuff is?"

"What are you, my mom?"

"Apparently if you're asking for an allowance from me."

Missy opened her mouth then paused. "Yeah, well, I could still buy stuff online, right?"

"Not with hard cash you're not." Leo shook his head.

She waved her hand around. "OK, OK, OK, how about I have an online allowance then?"

Leo knew she wasn't going to drop this, despite his exasperation. "And how would that work?" he asked, rubbing his temple.

"You just tell me how much cash I have, then I can use that much to buy something." Her smile widened. "I would work for it," she cooed.

"You already have a free house, free food, and a free bed, on top of free entertainment. You should be working for those first." Surely there had to be some sort of tax cut he could get for harboring such a rare animal? At least a little? He supposed his house would have to be classified as a zoo first.

"Oh please? Just a tiny bit. A tiny, tiny bit. I want to buy one thing and say I earned it. That's it."

"Later, Missy. We're getting off track here." Leo turned his attention back to the phone. "What about tools. Do we need anything specific or are we going to have to buy more things on top of the parts?"

"Aside from thermal goop, we should be fine. I think you have screwdrivers, right?"

"Yes. Yes I do." She actually bothered to learn her stuff. It was still presented in her horribly dismissive tone that made it feel like she was five seconds away from either falling asleep or ready to move onto the next shiny thing that caught her attention. Now she just had to put it into practice. "You're going to have to find other sources to confirm this stuff. You know that, right?"

"What? Why? The fat guys laid out everything. Literally. They tore a poor computer to shreds." She tapped on the side of the phone. "I saw the whole surgery."

"And you're sure they didn't skip anything?"

"Not unless they ate a piece." Missy nuzzled her head into Leo's pant leg. She was going to tear his clothes eventually, he just knew it. "Anyways, I did my stuff. What's for lunch?"

"Your 'stuff' isn't done yet, but maybe you want to catch lunch?"

Missy pouted. "Quit it. I swear I still smell its guts sometimes. Just order us some Chinese or something."

"We're not out of food so I'm not letting it go to waste." Leo pocketed the phone. "You mind pulling your face off my leg?" Missy obeyed. Leo then sighed for what was about to escape his lips. He had said it before, but only as a polite automatic response or a way to soothe her nerves. "Thanks for actually doing this." Missy turned her head and narrowed her eyes. "What?"

"Where's my real Leo, huh?" She tapped the back of her hand on his arm. "You're not one of those body snatchers, are ya?" Leo rolled his eyes. "Alright, you're welcome." Leo almost felt like saying another thanks just for that response. Missy dropped the suspicious look. "You know, you could thank me with some takeout," she said, raising her eyebrows.

"It's some kind of divine miracle you're as thin as you are, Missy." Leo nodded.

"Why, thank you. I think. Does that meaen you're ordering?"

"No." Leo stood up and headed for the kitchen. "By the way, put that robe in the wash once in a while."

"What, and lose your scent?" Missy replied.  
_

"Do you really have to watch this while we eat?" Leo said, pointing at the television screen. Missy had set it to some terribly miserable real life crime show. She sat nearby in the lounging chair while he took the couch.

"It's the only thing on television right now, OK?" Missy tore a bite out of her beef sandwich. He really had to get more ingredients. "Unless you want to talk, huh?" she said with a slight giggle.

"I don't think we have a single thing to talk about." Leo glanced over at his laptop. He could "talk" about how many things she somehow managed to ruin over her stay, but that would probably kill his appetite.

"We could talk like normal people. Exchange likes. Ask questions."

"Are we normal people?"

"We can pretend to be," Missy said with a shrug. "Don't you want to ask me questions?"

"What would you know that I wouldn't?"

"You're saying that to the only Wolficus you've ever seen? Really?"

"Missy, I already know who you are. You being... whatever you are doesn't really change that."

The dark lady let out a low guttural groan that sounded like someone being strangled. Obviously she took much delight in her more alien nature at times. "You suuuuure?"

"Unless you can tell me where we can buy you clothes, no, I'm not that interested."

"Don't you like your ladies showing a little skin?" She looked down at herself. "Fur?"

Leo took a bite of his meal. "It just makes you look like a slob."

"I don't really like clothes. I think for you it'd be like, wearing clothes on your clothes. Wouldn't that be dumb?"

Leo nodded at her. "What's the robe for, then?"

"It's cozy." She snuggled up against the fabric. "Not tight either."

"You used to wear a dress way back when. Why not something like that?"

Missy gasped and smiled. "You remember!" Did she really have to do that? "I only wore the dress 'cause the old folks thought it was 'proper'."

"I thought you liked it."

"It was good for wiping my mouth."

"Yeah, I'll bet..." Leo shook his head. 

Missy leaned forward. "What about other questions, got anymore?"

"What? Why?"

"We were having a conversation! Like regular talky humans would."

"So you're a human then, you admit it."

"Oh shut up." She swallowed the rest of her sandwich in one, horribly gruesome bite. "Maybe I wanna be human, but until I can walk around without a care in the world, you better believe I'm pure Wolficus."

Leo leaned back in his chair. "How did we even come up with that stupid name?" he mumbled.

"I think we got a taxonomy book and made it up."

"I'm surprised you even know what taxonomy is." There was the faintest memory of something approaching that. Sitting in some dusty living room, looking over a huge book with a lot of words. Missy couldn't read at the time, so he had to do it for her. It was actually fun sounding those words out and trying to guess what they meant.

"Oh yeah, smart guy? Why not come up with a new one, then?"

"Alegeinos Carnivora sound good?" Leo finished up the last of his meal. He was surprised he even remembered some of that.

"What does that mean?" Missy asked.

"You'll figure it out."

"If it's something bad I'll cry!" Whether that was a joking threat or not, Leo still didn't like the sound of it.

"You'll be fine." Leo stood up and retrieved their plates.

"I coulda done that."

"Sure you could, but you wouldn't." Leo set the plates down in the sink and walked past Missy.

"Where ya goin'?" Missy asked.

"Going to clean up the exercise room."

"Hey, wait, why don't we try talking like regular people would for a little longer?" She stood up from her chair. "Wouldn't that be nice?" Leo cocked his head. "Oh don't give me that look."

"What look?" Leo asked with a shrug.

"The 'oh, I bet she's up to something again that dirty scoundrel', look." 

"I guess you got me there, but can you really blame me?"

Missy fell back into her chair. "No... I guess not, but still! It's more fun than cleaning, right?" As she said that, a recreation of someone getting shot in a crime scene showed on the television. "Right?"

Leo supposed he had nothing to lose from it. This was another opportunity to help her change for the better, so he might as well take it. "OK, alright, we can talk." He rounded the couch and sat down. "What do we talk about?"

Missy instantly got up and plopped down next to him on the now all-too-small sofa. "I got a question for you."

"It's not a stupid one, right?"

"No."

"Then go ahead."

"And you have to answer this time."

Leo nodded. "Alright, go."

"Why don't you remember the stuff we used to do?" She quickly held up a hand. Now she was doing it to him. "I know, you said, they sucked or whatever, but really, why?" That was a tough question. Leo remembered scraps. Bits and pieces of the stupid stuff they'd get up to, along with some of the other kids who apparently grew up to be losers.

"It just happens as you get older, I guess." Leo scooted away from her. That wasn't quite it either, was it? There was indeed a bit of spotty memory loss as you got older, but... whole chunks? He sighed. Not that it mattered, of course.

"I still remember the stuff we did. It was like yesterday, if uh, we were both midgets."

"How much has happened since then, though?" Leo had to clarify so it didn't come across as an insult. "I mean, has anything really shaken up your life?"

Missy looked to the television screen. "I guess not." She shrugged after some staring. "You can probably guess why." Yeah, he could. As much as Missy was a pain, there were some things she really couldn't help. Leo might've lost his mind if he was forced to stay in one house for most of his life, even with the odd trip to the outdoors. "Does that mean you forgot your promise?" Oh God, what now?

"Promise? Missy, I wasn't even a teenager yet." Leo shook his head. "Any promises I made were by a stupid kid who thought Santa existed."

"Hey, I'm here. Santa could be real too," Missy replied with a smile. That did bring into question a whole wealth of his beliefs, actually. She was right. If she was real, anything could be on the table at all. The thought unsettled him. "But you forgot the promise."

"What promise, Missy?"

Missy clasped her hands together and swooned. "To marry me when we got older." That stupid smile stuck to her face so there was a fair chance she was lying. Well, there was a fair chance she was lying anyways.

"Like I said, a kid. I am not following through with it." There had to be some sort of law against that.

"What about keeping your word, huh?"

"Don't."

"Alright, alright." She turned more toward him. "It was fun, though. When we would go outside and pretend all sorts of things. Do you at least remember every Friday we'd go to Ms. Swanson's for a freshly baked pie?"

Swanson was a name that rang somewhere in the back of Leo's head. Associated with a tomb of a house packed to the gills with ancient decorations that made it incredibly stuffy. "She was your mom, right?" Leo asked.

"I mean, yeah, she took care of me and..." Missy trailed off and twiddled her thumbs. "Not really my mom, anyways." Leo briefly wondered if that's why she left. No doubt Ms. Swanson was already up there in terms of age by the time they were creeping into their teens. Who else would she have really turned to? "You have to remember the pies though!"

"Sounds familiar. I remember the broken grandfather clock in the kitchen." The one that never moved but still rang every time on cue. "The one you'd always copy the tone of." Damn, that was annoying.

"Bing bong! See, I knew you'd remember the good stuff eventually. Now we just need to work on that ring."

Leo didn't goad on her stupidity. "Anything else? I'm not really in the mood to reminisce."

"What are you in the mood for? Oh! I know, how about you tell me all about work?" She bumped her elbow into his side. "I know you're a working man."

"Don't do that." Her arm swiftly retracted. "You already told me that my work sounds boring. What changed your mind?"

"Nothing, I guess, just thought you might wanna talk about it. I never had a real job, could be interesting."

"I'm sure all those idiots you used to hang out with all had jobs, didn't they?" 

"OK, yeah, they had jobs but like, fuckin', I don't think gas station attendant is all that interesting." Missy shrugged. "Depressing if you ask me. Super depressing. Same as fast food chef."

Leo furrowed his brow. "None of them did anything else?"

"Times are tough."

"How would you even know that?" Leo replied.

"I read stuff." She tilted her head and smiled. "You're not like them, of course. At least not the house."

"Yeah, I figured that much." And thank the heavens for that. There was something to be said about Missy of all people finding someone else to be depressing and pathetic. He supposed he should be happy she was here with him and not there, but there was still the whole dead weight part of the arrangement. "I'm guessing they did a whole lot of lounging around when they got home too?"

"That and complaining." Familiar. "Oh, and a lot of takeout food." Missy sighed. "I miss that stuff. The fast food."

"Don't you like any home-cooked meal at all? That fast food stuff is addictive, you know."

"I know, right? I couldn't get enough of the stuff!"

"No, Missy, it's legitimately addictive."

"I'm just gonna pretend I didn't hear that. I don't want to be a junkie, no thank you." She tapped her chin. "Why don't you try making burgers and french fries, huh?"

Leo rubbed his neck. The proximity was getting to him, strangely enough. "I don't have a grill for that."

"So? You got pans to cook meat on," Missy replied.

"Grilled burgers are the best way to go about it, that's all there is to it."

"I guess I shoulda expected that from the chef." Missy eased off of him. "Don't you wanna try fast food sometimes though? Like, ever?"

"It's cheaper to make what I want," Leo replied. He nodded. "And I don't have to worry about having a heart attack either."

"It's fine if I have a heart attack. I have three of them," she replied smugly.

"You do not," Leo said, ecasperated.

"Oh yeah, how can you tell?"

"It would be in your pulse, Missy."

She stuck out her chest. "Go on, have a listen." 

Without breaking eye contact, Leo picked up her hand by the wrist and pressed firmly against her fur. She had an elevated pulse from what he could tell, but it was definitely just an average circulation as far as he knew. "No, you don't." He dropped her hand.

"It's no fun if you do it like that. Maybe I don't have three, but I bet I'm super resilient stuff like that!"

Leo propped his head up on the arm of the couch. "And how do you figure that?" He was truly curious how far her eccentricities could go.

"I'm made to eat all sorts of gross stuff out in nature, right? Not like weak humans who cook everything." Missy snapped her teeth at the air. "Logic."

"If you're made to eat stuff in nature, then you're sure as hell not equipped to eat half of the chemicals that go into fast food." He rubbed his eyes. "That's logic."

"Gosh, it sounds like I'm gonna die. The last of my species. Gone," she said dramatically.

"It hasn't killed you yet, so you must be tougher than the average Wolficus." Did he say that? Whatever. "You know what I mean. Anyways, you don't know you're the last so don't say that either."

"Can't I just be a little special?" Leo looked to her. That was a joke, right?

"Missy, how are you not special? You are the walking embodiment of every single cryptid hunter on this planet's dream." More like worst nightmare, all things considered. Yeah, we found this rare specimen never seen before. Sentient. Walks upright. Tool manipulating hands. Oh, what's that? It eats pizza and watches TV? Oh.

"Like you said, there could be more. Billions?" She nodded. "Maybe billions more of me!" God, no, please. "Wouldn't that be cool?"

"Yeah, that'd be... that'd be swell. Where are they, though? They'd have eaten the world's supply of candy by now. Someone would miss that, I'd think."

"Underground?"

"Let me ask you a question. Have you felt like burrowing any holes recently?"

"Uh, no?"

"Then they're probably not underground."

"We could be in caves."

"Do you want to live in a cave?"

"Hell no. That would be super gross and probably scary."

"So caves are also a no," Leo replied. He really should be doing something else right now, but he knew Missy would take this skeleton of a conversation to wherever he was going too. He should've invested in headphones at some point.

"I'm uh... Domesticated. So it's not like I would know, duh." Missy rolled her eyes. "We could be super, super advanced. Like, you know how everyone says the Egyptians were aliens? Actually that's us. Yep. I bet there's a whole lot of us in some special city." Although the way she used 'domesticated' made her seem more like a dog than something civilized.

"I don't even want to think about the logistics of that, but doesn't being domesticated make you unique then? There you go." He held a hand out to her. "You're unique. Enjoy."

Missy's happy expression dropped, replaced with wonderment. "Yeah, I guess." She placed a finger on her chin. "You think there's maybe some people like us? Old buddies. Living in the same house. Having fun?"

"I guess it's not completely impossible." There was some comfort in the thought that he wasn't the only one going through this. "That begs the question why nobody has ratted them out yet."

"Like I said, friends. You wouldn't tell on me, would you?"

Leo looked down at his lap. "No. I wouldn't, but not everyone would be so nice."

"I'm glad I have you then, at least. Don't tell the other guys but I think they'd probably sell me off for a lotta cash."

"They would've done it when they kicked you out, wouldn't they?"

"Not when I show them these!" She raised her hands and flexed her fingers. They would be stupid enough to fall for those, yeah. "And maybe I said I'd get some of my Wolficus buddies to tear them up if they said anything. That helped." Missy put on a soft smile and shrugged. "You gotta do everything to survive, you know?"

"As long as you didn't actually do anything I guess there was no real harm in it." Aside from sleeping with one eye open for the rest of their lives. "I hope you didn't actually tell them you were coming to me."

"Don't worry about it. I just tracked you down on my own and had them drive me nearby."

Leo furrowed his brow. "And how did you manage that?"

Missy pulled her head back. "Took a long time. A lot of wishing, hoping, and sensing." Her smile faded away. "I think we're connected, you know?" She pointed between them. "I mean, how else did I get here? It's a long way from home. I felt it, sorta." Missy having some sort of natural homing mechanism was frankly a scary thought, and he wouldn't put it past her. He still had his doubts.

Leo straightened out his posture. "That's nice. I guess."

"Didn't you feel it?" Missy asked. "Like, when I first got here? That pop in your head?" The first night almost seemed like a blur. A terrible nightmare was what it should have been. She was a whole lot more frightening then, and a hammer to his quiet life. It was a pop alright. "I felt it."

"You could say there was something like that. More of a bang."

"You can't say it like that." Missy grimaced. "Do you know how hard it is to not make a joke about that?" She shook her head. "Never mind. I got another question," she said, smile returning as quickly as it left.

"Alright. Not a stupid one."

"No, not stupid, it's important to me." Missy just had to lean closer to him. "Did you think about me? You know, after we were apart?" She pulled her legs up onto the couch. "OK, it's kinda dumb, but I just have to know."

"I don't think you're going to like the answer, Missy."

"Just tell me, Leo."

He shrugged. "Alright. I did. A little bit, but only wondering if you were real or not. Some people said they had no memory of you." Leo partially expected her to throw a fit if he didn't have her in his thoughts and prayers 24/7.

Missy had no response at first, but eventually gave a sigh of relief. "At least you thought of me. That's good enough. Though I can't believe some losers forgot me." She tossed up her hands. "You'd think the whole monster thing would be enough, but I guess not."

"I wouldn't take it personally. You're hard to believe." Not even he was sure if that was a compliment.

Missy bounced on the couch, sending her frizzy hair every which way. "Aren't I just?"

"Alright, relax, you're not a Grey alien or Bigfoot."

"Of course not. Those guys are so boring. Who even cares about little green men? Yeah, so smart traveling across space but they don't even wear pants. Bigfoot is just a cave man." Missy pushed out her chest and smiled a little too proudly. "I am the true queen of the cryptid world that everyone should know and hunt."

Leo straightened up. "You haven't told anyone, have you? I know you go online. Please tell me you didn't."

"I didn't!" The monstress shook her head. "I mean, I wanted to. It's hard being so cool and not telling anyone, you know?" She tilted her head to the side. "Even if I did, what would be the problem? Not like anyone would believe me."

"That's the worst part. Someone would, and then they'd obsess over you, and they would find you."

"Sheesh, they must be jealous of you, huh?"

"You have to promise me you won't do that, OK? I don't need an insane person at my door, alright?"

"You would protect me, wouldn't you?" Missy asked.

"Missy, promise me," Leo urged.

Missy put a hand over her chest and held the other up. "OK, I promise not to attract insane people to our door, and I will not become queen of the cryptids. That good?" 

"It'll have to do for now, I guess. Seriously, do not mess with people online, you're only asking for trouble if you do." Leo sighed, already imagining hundreds of internet creeps working together to figure out where a picture of Missy making a stupid face was taken based on twelve pixels of a tree. "Just don't do it."

Missy sized him up subtly, or what Leo assumed was subtly. She didn't move her head to do it but her dishplate eyes certainly did. "You got it, Leo. No internet strangers for me." She lowered her voice and continued, "I guess that only leaves you as the only person I can talk to."

"If it keeps us safe, then so be it," Leo replied.

"Hey, that reminds me, you got any friends at work?"

"That's the one place you're not supposed to make friends."

"Isn't that the other way around?"

"No."

"You sound like you're friends with the bossguy." Missy stifled a laugh, much to Leo's chagrin. "The one you said--"

"Yes, him. I guess we're acquaintances, nothing really more than that. Work only."

"Well, uh, OK, what about outside of work?" Missy asked. Leo thought about the question. He didn't really have any, did he? Not like anyone he would willingly hang out with anyways. Missy leaned to the side, drawing his attention. "Hm?"

"None, really, but what's the issue with that?"

"I didn't say there was an issue." Damnit. "But hey, you've got one friend." Missy tapped on her chest.

"Yeah, alright, if you say so." Leo rubbed his forehead. He wanted to launch into a diatribe about how much of a friend she's been exactly, but they were working on it. Things would get better. "We done with this conversation or is there antyhing else you want to grill me about?"

"Hmm, I guess I've gotten all the deets I wanted for now."

"The what?"

"Deets. Details. C'mon, Leo, we live in the future, get with the times."

"I've never even heard that slang."

"I know, I know, you only hear about 401ks and offloading foreign market stocks, but we can work on that."


	16. Chapter 16

How many nights had it been now? Leo settled into bed next to Missy once again. It had become routine. Normal. Annoying, but normal. Missy hadn't even left the TV on, so he wasn't under the sheets either. It felt odd to sleep without the constant hum of the television and Missy shifting next to him. "Not going to watch anything?" Leo asked as he stared up at the ceiling.

"Thought you hated it."

"I guess."

"You wanna watch one?"

Leo blinked, not even feeling that welcoming tug of sleep on his eyelids. "Not really." This didn't feel right. Was Missy somehow tossing out his whole sleep schedule? 

"Not gonna sleep?"

"Don't feel like it."

"You did some work around the house, shouldn't you be all tired now?"

"I thought I would be."

There was a long silence between them. Missy, naturally, took hold of the reins. "So what should we do now?" she asked, turning toward him. There was some uneasiness that Leo couldn't quite place. Like a subtle sense of embarrassment knocking at the back of his head. "You wanna talk again?"

"Isn't it weird to talk to someone in bed?" Leo replied. More like weird to talk to someone in the same bed if they weren't screwing one another. He briefly wondered why that social taboo was present before dumping the idea.

"What are we doing right now, huh? Sounds like talking to me." She scooted up onto his pillow, her head dangerously close to his own. "I could sing you that lullaby again."

"No." Leo paused. "Thanks. I'm fine." Not that it was a terrible idea, just that the way Missy described it last time as 'sleeping' with her pained him. Nor could he actually admit to needing her help in some way. That was either the male in him talking or the overwhelming embarrassment.

"Uh, I was kinda thinking we could trade," Missy said in a near whisper.

"Is something wrong, Missy? You're a little off."

"It's part of the trade." Missy growled, causing Leo to scoot away from her. Oh no. "I scratch your itch, you scratch mine."

It all clicked into place. "No." Leo shook his head. "No, no, no, I am not doing that. I'm sorry, Missy, no."

"Leo, c'mon. I broke your fucking computer." She sighed. "No, I didn't, but you know what I mean. I can't use it."

"You have an imagination, Missy." Leo turned away. He must've been making an impression on the bed by now. "You don't need a computer for that."

"I do. I do. I really do." Her hand wrapped around his arm, fingers draping down onto his chest. "Do you know how hard it is to do with these hands? The porn does most of the job." Her grip tightened. "I just need someone else's touch. Just this once." She let out another low groan.

Leo wriggled his arm, causing Missy to loosen up. "I have my phone, you can use that." He really wanted to tell her off but he supposed she couldn't help this one little bestial tick of hers. Leo picked up his phone and held it back for her.

"I don't want to use the phone. I want a touch. That's it! Just one little touch!" Missy shook him firmly.

Leo retracted his offer, setting his phone back down. "I'm sorry. I can't."

Missy pulled herself closer. "Why not? I thought we were friends. Once. Just once."

"Friends don't jerk each other off."

"I'd do that for you," Missy instantly replied.

"For the last time, no."

"I know. You're used to humans. I'm not human though, reality check." There was a hint of despair to her voice that made her requests all the more odd. She really wasn't faking it.

Leo shut his eyes. "Does it hurt?"

"No. No, it's just in my fucking head."

His eyes opened in relief. "Then you can deal with it yourself."

"Yes, yes it hurts."

"Missy."

"Fine. I'll take the phone." Missy reached over him with a growl and swiped the phone off the table. "Shit, Leo." She barreled over him and scampered off into the living room. He very briefly considered closing the door behind her. Then he imagined the awkward moment where he would have to let her back in. Instead, Leo turned to face the now empty side of the bed. It felt odd not to have someone next to him too. Getting used to Missy was a terrible thought. A rumbling hiss shattered his thoughts. Not having even the slightest barrier to dampen her infernal noises was painful in more ways than one. Too late now, he supposed.

Missy continued with her pained noises. From low growls to high pitched hisses. It was hard to think she was doing what she was doing. That didn't change the fact that he couldn't help. They were acquaintances at best. She needed it though, didn't she? He asked if it hurt, that was as far as that broken olive branch would go. Would you have done it then? Maybe, he replied to himself. There was a surrealism to the seriousness of the whole thing. She had her needs, but that didn't mean he had to cater to them. Missy was lucky to get everything she had in this arrangement -- another yelp came his way -- and was lucky she could even touch his personal belongings to help herself out.

More prolonged and strained noises came, then silence. Leo made absolutely sure she was finished before speaking up. "Wash your hands," he said. Missy grumbled as she passed his door. It still didn't sit right with him how quietly she could move around. The sink turned on, there was the splash of water, then it shut off again. Leo could only barely make out her footsteps as she placed down his phone and then settled back into the spot next to him. 

"Did'ja miss me?" she asked, chipper attitude quickly returning.

"You didn't get any mess on my phone, did you?" Leo asked.

"Is that seriously the first thing you ask me?"

"Fine. Are you alright?"

"You could say something like that, yeah." Her teeth glinted in the moonlight. Leo made a mental note to shut his blinds first thing tomorrow morning. "I think I'm ready to hit the hay." She squirmed in bed for a moment. "And sorry I flipped out like that."

"It's alright." Leo shifted onto his back and shut his eyes.

"You know, if you helped, it would be a lot--"

"Good night." And shifted away from her yet again.

Missy sighed. "Good night, my lovely prude." If that was being a prude, he was the damned Pope.


	17. Chapter 17

The familiar hum of halogen lights was practically a choir to Leo's ears as he tapped away at his keyboard. The weekened was over and he could finally start a fresh new week, away from Missy's constant poking and prodding he had begrudgingly become used to. In fact, her annoyances had gotten to the point where he needed to get it out of his system, dump all his pains on someone else for a moment. He paused just as he filled out the last line of a report. And who would he exactly do that with? Leo pushed himself from his desk for a brief moment. There was... Well, like he said it's not like he made friends at work. Everything here was strictly business, otherwise he ran the risk of being distracted by people who desperately wanted to escape from their workload.

Of course, he could probably argue his superior was something of a friend. Not that he really wanted his superior to be so buddy buddy. Not only did it disturb his workflow, but he felt as though that having some semblance of a relationship damaged his professional image. What was the point of working hard if your friend was everyone else's boss. No, Leo would work for his spot in the company and make sure his skill was what drove him forward. A random thought hit him. Isn't that a little robotic? Leo pulled himself back to his desk. Robotic isn't even an issue. That would have been an improvement if anything. Or would it be? Wouldn't it be nice to have even one friend to talk to about the stuff you like?

Funny how even miles away from home, Missy found some way to torment him. Perhaps he had to admit that she was a good obstacle. Something to work around, or rather, work with. That brought up the question then, did he really regret having her appear at his doorstep? She did confirm that a large part of his life was in fact, reality. That furry, annoying jigsaw piece to finish the whole puzzle that was his childhood. Assuming she was actually real. No one saw her but him. Overworking and stress could have easily created some horrible delusion for him to vent his anger on.

Why was he even thinking about this at work? Leo tapped the bottom of his chin and went back to work. "You know, I wanna say that's the first time I've seen you pause in years," an older voice said. And this is why you always focus on the task at hand.

"Sorry Sir, just going over my work." Leo quickly glanced back so as to not be rude. Yeah, that was Vernon alright.

"The girl must be a master at wringing the life outta ya. An Adonis like you stopped in his tracks?" There was a slight joking tone to his voice but Leo could tell he meant what he said to at least some degree.

Leo kept typing to make up for the time he spent spinning around in his head. "She's certainly a handful."

"And you're still at it." Vernon set a cup of coffee down next to Leo. "You know what that says to me?"

Leo froze, as if a terrible secret were about to be unleashed upon him. "What's that?" he asked.

"You're either the most strong willed man I've ever met, or you're in love."

Leo's eyes nearly burst out of his head. He stifled a laugh. "I'll take the former. Thank you. It's gonna take a lot to love someone who can't even be bothered to love themselves." Not in the pleasuring sense either. Eugh.

"Fair enough." Vernon chuckled. "I'm just thinking aloud. Still... Maybe you should consider a day off or two?"

"No, I'm quite alright. Thank you." Leo hastened his typing.

"It's paid, after all. Wouldn't be missing a day's work, really."

"No Sir, that would be missing an honest day's work."

Vernon sighed. "I don't want to be challenging your manhood, Mr. Davis, but we all have to take some time away from the hamster wheel. And before you say it, yes, even more than just the weekend."

"I'm far more relaxed here than at home, believe me." He could already picture Missy, grabbing his arm and jumping up and down in excitement. Got a day off? Why don't we waste more time gorging on popcorn and watching lizards go at it?

"Not too sure about that with the million mile stare you had going on there." Leo must've been an open book to other people. He supposed that's what happens to people who become insistent loners. "Just give it a shot. A day or two to reassess your arrangement back home." 

"Those days are limited. I'd rather save them for a sickness or an emergency."

"Oh for heaven's sake, Leo, you've stockpiled more than you'll ever need and we both know you'll be working from home if you're sick." Not anymore, thanks to the little arrangement back home bricking his computer, but he wasn't about to mention that. "I'll even send some work your way if it'll make you feel better. How's about it?" He nudged that cup of coffee closer to Leo.

"Alright, alright. A day." Leo took a sip of that coffee. Bitter. There was a reason why he never drank the stuff.

"Would you make it two?"

Leo stopped for a moment and glanced back at his superior. "There's something odd about a manager asking his underlings to take a day off, Sir."

"True, but it's not easy watching the star player stumble, you feel me?"

"Suppose I do." It felt good to be recognized for his work, as petty as he knew that was. "Thank you, Sir."

"Now you finish up your work and head back home once your hours are up. Tell your pretty lady the good news while you're at it," Vernon said with a chuckle. "You hear me?"

"I'll try my best, Sir."

"When it comes to a woman, that's all you can hope for out of a man, hah." And as quickly as he came, the boss left, leaving Leo to contemplate the utter pain he agreed to. Well, not pain per se. He could use some of that extra time to work on a few things around the house. Just that the constant, nagging presence of Missy needing to be entertained was something that began to wear thin on his psyche. Could he blame her, though? Who else was she going to talk to? He forbade any sort of internet contact out of fear, and there certainly weren't going to be any casual house guests. At least, he hoped there wouldn't be any uninvited guests. God, what would she do if there was a knock on the door? He had completely forgotten to draw the curtains. The thought hadn't even occurred to him.

Leo quietly set aside the fear of his door being bashed in by the government and quietly returned to work. Somewhere on the edge of his conscious mind he asked himself what would be worse, being interrogated for several hours over harboring some sort of alien creature or the idea that out of all the suckers to take her in, he was the one to lose her.  
_

The cycle repeats. Leo unlocked his door and stepped inside. A day off. He shut the door. Another day off with her. "Welcome back, my lord!" Missy said, waving from the couch. "How was work?"

"It was fine," Leo said, already undoing his tie. "How was frittering away the day?"

"Don't say it like that, now I want some apple fritters." She held a hand over her stomach, which he just noticed was covered by a dark blue shirt.

"What is that?" Leo asked, pointing to her.

"Last I checked these are called 'shirts'. Maybe they changed since then."

"Why are you wearing one of my shirts?" Leo asked, setting down his case and walking over to the couch. "It's going to be covered in your fur." Not like everything else in his house wasn't already.

"You said not wearing clothes made me look like a slob. So here I am, non-slob Missy." She stood up and presented herself.

Leo looked down. "And pants?"

"Too weird." She lifted up a leg. "I'd wear some shorts, but you're some kinda weirdo who doesn't own a pair. Ahem, could be changed with a little internet allowance." Missy rubbed her fingers together.

"What would you even do around here that would warrant any sort of allowance, Missy?" His question coupled with her name made him realize he really did sound like a mom, jeez.

"I take out the trash sometimes. Doesn't that count for something?" she asked with a shrug.

Leo shook his head. "If anything that just goes to paying off living here."

"What, am I in debt now? Gee, it's like I really am an adult."

"Don't you think that's at least slightly fair? Just a bit?"

"It's not like I'm that big a drain, dude."

"Food and electricity can be a pretty big drain."

Missy rolled her head. "OK, fine, food, but watching TV adds what, like ten bucks to your electricity bill?"

"Ten bucks adds up. I could've saved that cash for something else."

"Fiiiiiiiine. What do you want me to do for an allowance?" She held up her hands. "Something Wolficus friendly, please." Leo really wished she'd stop saying that.

Leo walked over to the hall closet and pulled out a vacuum cleaner. "You could clean up, for one."

"Vacuum?" Missy looked at the thing.

"You might have some weird hands, but you can hold a vacuum cleaner just fine, can't you?" He plugged it in and rolled it over to her. "Can't you?"

"Yeah, I guess. Doesn't sound fun though." Missy took hold of the thing. It was awkward, but she could at least cart it around. Really, that's all you had to do with a vacuum. Partially why he shelved it. More exercise with a broom and dustpan. Leo flicked the thing on, causing Missy to squeak and flinch. That and it was loud as hell. "I think I'm deaf now, thanks!"

"You'll get used to it!" Leo said over the wail of suction.

"So do I get paid by the hour or what?!"

"We'll talk payment after the job is done!"

"I'm starting to think employee benefits here suck!" Terrible joke, even for Missy standards. Leo headed on over to his room and dressed himself in something more comfortable. He noted the missing blue shirt in his drawer, which ever so slightly bugged him. If all went according to plan he could at least force her to wear something that didn't belong to him in the first place, though whatever she wore was definitely hers now regardless. The vacuum continued to roar through the house, along with the loud clattering of its plastic wheels. What was once a source of pain was now put to good use. Oh, and it was good the vacuum was finally getting some use too. "At least twenty bucks for cleaning the whole living room!"

Leo walked back out into the living room. "Only in your dreams, Missy!" Twenty cents seemed more reasonable. Not that she deserved any sort of monetary compensation. He could only imagine what kind of useless nonsense she'd try to buy with or without his blessing. Foreign snacks, all sorts of useless trinkets, stupid t-shirts. The works. At least she was trying to do something, even if it was for the sake of monetary gain and not self improvement. Baby steps. He moved out into the living room, gave Missy a quick glance to make sure she was still at it, and went right into his exercising room. He was still slightly beat from his rigorous task of sitting in front of a computer and ruining his spine, so he decided to clean up his equipment for his day off.

After retrieving a rag and some cleaner, Leo suddenly heard the vacuum come to a stop, putting the house at ease. "OK! Done!" Missy yelled out. Leo sighed and walked out into the living room to inspect her handiwork. If he could even do so. He kept the house mostly clean as is. Missy was the only one to really scuff up the place.

"Seriously? It hasn't even been ten minutes."

Missy crossed her arms and rested on the cleaner's handle. "I work fast."

"Yeah? We'll see about that." He couldn't quite believe he was actually going to scrutinize his floor, but there he was, going over every inch of wood flooring. It did seem relatively clean, although that was most likely already his doing. Admittedly he was surprised that there wasn't a mess of food all over. There were a few tiny specks he could make out that needed some cleaning that he decided to ignore. He figured he didn't need to spend several minutes arguing with Missy over sucking up a speck of lint. "I guess you do work fast," he said, half-joking.

"See? What'd I tell ya?" She stuck out her hand. "I'll take that twenty now."

"You've earned a dollar at best, and that's being incredibly generous."

"We working on Zimbabwe bucks here or what?"

Leo crossed his arms. "How much do you think a janitor makes an hour, Missy?"

"Eighteen bucks?" she said with a shrug.

"It really is a good thing you've never had a job in your life."

"Look, it's not like you're a super serious boss guy tryna make a profit. You can cut me some slack."

"I've given you all the slack I can."

"You know, it sounds gross when you say it like that."

Leo pursed his lips. "Look, you can either try to put some effort in for all the goodwill sent your way, or you can never think about having any sort of 'allowance' again. Got it? You've already eaten your fair share of cash."

"We're back on that, huh?" Missy replied. "Maybe I should call you dad instead of mom."

"Well, just think about it. You think this was worth twenty bucks? Not in the real world."

"I got it, I got it. What else can I do, though?"

"How about you come help me clean up in the exercise room?"

Missy scrunched up her nose and made a horrible retching sound. "Gross. You don't have that nice Twizzlers smell when you're exercising."

Leo furrowed his brow. "What?"

"You didn't know? You kinda smell like strawberry Twizzlers." Missy nodded. "It's pretty nice in the morning." The man tried to set aside that baffling statement.

"Alright, well, you gonna join me or not?"

"Fine, I guess, but this is definitely worth twenty bucks."

"Fifteen."

"Eighteen!"

"Ten," Leo replied.

"Wait, hold on--"

"Take it or leave it."

Missy rolled her eyes. "Alright, sheesh."

"Come on," Leo said, motioning toward the room. "I got a spare rag for you."

"Gee, thanks. You always get me the best gifts." She set the vacuum aside and followed Leo. "Don't you ever do fun housework?"

"What house work is fun?" Leo spritzed a spare rag with some cleaner and handed it to her.

Missy stared at the ripped bit of cloth for a moment. "Let me say that a different way. Don't you ever do anything fun?"

"I watched those movies with you, didn't I?" Leo replied, wiping down his stationary bike.

"Yeah but you don't do anything fun on your own." She pointed to the exercise machine. "Like, why don't you just get a real bike and ride that, huh? Woods are nice for it."

Leo shook his head. "I don't need one. I've got the car, and I'm not biking through the woods. I like to take my time on the trails." He looked to the stationary bike. "Plus, a bike is a huge investment. You can't imagine all the research that would go into picking out parts and style of bicycle."

"Or you could just buy one that looks cool. Like a normal person would."

"And waste money?" Leo asked, spritzing more cleaner. "You have to research these things. Like with the computer."

"I guess. Really weird you would research a bike, though. Like, the thing goes over land and you pedal. What do you need to know there?" Leo held up his rag and circled it in the air. Missy nodded and started mindlessly scrubbing at a dumbbell. "All I'm saying is it's not like you're gonna be a professional. At least I don't think so. Dunno."

"I'm not going to be doing any marathons if that's what you mean. I would still like to own something nice if I'm going to be using it, though."

"Cool things are nice," Missy replied.

"Thanks for the deep insight on that one," Leo replied with a smirk.

"Not everything has to be deep as an ocean, Leo. Sometimes it's a puddle. And in the puddle's reflection? An idiot." He supposed there was some merit to her words, even if he wouldn't ever admit that. There was an urge to have the very best of what he could afford.

"It's just nice to own nice things, Missy."

"And you say I have deep insight, huh!" Missy said with a chuckle. "Better get Socrates in here for the next one."

"Alright, just get to scrubbing. It's been a while since I went over everything so it really has to shine."

"Yeah, gotta impress the guests." She whistled. "They're gonna cry when they see these sweaty things sparkle."

"So what, you'd just let the place get covered in grime?" Leo asked as he wiped down the rest of the machinery.

Missy ineffectually rubbed some other equipment. "Isn't that what it's made for?"

"You're still supposed to maintain things. Not that I'd expect you to know that." Or any of the other people she stayed with, for that matter.

"You wound me, really."

"Good, now put some elbow grease into it," Leo said.

"Should be easy. I've got more elbow than you." The two finally lapsed into a silence, bringing Leo much needed serenity for his work. Missy still had her ways to be particularly distracting though, even in utter silence. Dumb faces, low growls, and occasionally staring off into space. Would it kill her to be consistent while working for once? For once? She's hardly worked at all in her over twenty years of existence. It was a miracle she was working at all. "I gotta ask," Missy said, shattering the peace.

"What, Missy?" Leo replied, spritzing down his rag.

"Do you exercise to catch girls or what?"

"No."

"So this is one of those magical self-improvement things, huh?"

"Yeah, you should try it some time."

"I'm just a fragile thing, Leo!" she replied with a flutter of the eyes.

"Ever done a pushup?"

"Ever done a pushup with arms and legs like mine?"

"Fair enough."

"That's right, everything is harder for poor old me."

"Why not make your own exercises then, huh?" Leo said.

"And cut into my lounging time? That burns calories too."

Leo stopped for a brief moment. "Not even going to try?"

"Look, I don't get fat, that's good enough for me. I don't need to be thinking about how to put myself through pain," Missy said firmly. Leo decided not to follow up on his questions. "I'm not getting paid to exercise, am I?"

"No."

"Then not a chance."

"Get through this and we'll talk payment then."

"I'm gonna hold you to that!" Missy said, and immediately sped up her scrubbing to fervent degrees and allowed silence to return once more. Occasionally she would request another spray of cleaner. She was actually getting into it. Good. Not pay twenty bucks or even ten bucks, but still pretty good. Maybe he could pay her in Kit-Kats if need be. That'd probably get her moving. That or burgers. After more cleaning, Missy eventually asked, "That good?" Leo stood up and moved over to her side. Seemed shiny enough. No obvious dirt marks or smears along anything she touched. "That stellar work or what?" She held out her hand, already greedily begging. He supposed that was good enough for now.

Leo pushed her hand aside. "What are you going to buy online?"

"What's it to you?"

"Because I don't need you buying garbage. I already feel bad enough handing you money."

"Oh ye of little faith. I was gonna buy clothes. Unless you want me to roll around in yours some more?" She tugged on her shirt, which was in reality his shirt. "I can do that for free!"

"You get ten bucks for now. That's it."

"Not even fifteen?" she whined.

"I don't see you doing any more work," Leo said with a shrug.

"OK, OK, I can take out the trash too. How much is that?"

"Two dollars?"

"What?! That's like, worse than minimum wage!"

"So what, are you going to bring it up in court?" Leo took her rag. "Shouldn't take too long to buy a shirt anyways, so what's the big deal?"

"The big deal is I'm being shafted here. Isn't there anything I can do to make more cash?"

"You could ask nicely," Leo said, half-joking.

Missy slouched. "Pretty please?"

"Sure, three bucks for the trash."

"Wow, thanks." She leaned against the biking machine. "I could buy a whole candy bar."

"See? That's all you'll need."

"What's wrong with sending a few extra bucks my way?"

"Because you don't need it. You just want some cash for work you should be doing anyways."

"Alright, forget it. I'll take the stupid wage slave pay."

"Good. Going to take out the trash now?"

Missy grumbled. "I'll do it after you go out for work tomorrow."

"I'm not going to work tomorrow." Actually, he probably should've kept that a secret. Too late.

"What? There a holiday or somethin'?" Her eyes widened. "You didn't lose your job, did you?" She stepped up to him. "Is that why you're being stingy?"

Leo eased away. "No, I didn't lose my job. I'm just taking a day off."

"Wow. A day off for the robot. We should do something special for the occasion." She started swinging her rag about. "How about another movie?"

"Don't you have any ideas of fun other than watching movies?"

"What else are we gonna do together?" She smiled. "Aside from the obvious," Missy said, holding back a laugh.

"Don't even joke about that. I don't know what diseases you have."

"Hey now, that's mean." Missy crossed her arms. "Well, what else are we gonna do? You don't want to do anything fun. It's in your genes, I guess."

"Who says we have to do anything together?"

"Why not? We're roommates!" To a fault. "They do things together."

"We're doing things together right now."

"Don't even, Leo. We've done this before. I know you don't like me, but it's never gonna get better if we don't do things together!"

"I don't dislike you, ease up. Anyways, even if I did, it wouldn't help to just watch some movies." He sat down on his bike, placed the rag on the handle, and faced toward the chronic lounger. "It's not like you're my kid, or another family member down on their luck. You're an old friend I barely remember."

"So? Doesn't being an old friend mean anything?"

Leo supposed it did. To some degree. "It doesn't help that the old friend asks for a lot."

"You know why I have to."

"And here we are trying to fix that," Leo replied, presenting the room. Missy grumbled in response. Better not push it. "Look, we're done for the day, OK?" She looked at him for a brief moment before tossing her rag on the ground and walking out. Slightly better than expected. It was probably a harsh shift for her, he knew that, but it was about time she grew up. They had chores as kids, didn't they? He probably did. She, on the other hand, had a nice old lady to live with. Not likely that she ever had to lift a finger. Whatever. Didn't matter now anyways.


	18. Chapter 18

Leo managed to find some quiet back in his bedroom. He had been trying to reset his laptop with little success. Missy had decided to waste her time out in the living room, much to his delight. He didn't need to hear her groveling over breaking his thing nor did he need any stupid ideas she might have. Leo turned on the laptop again for the fifth time. He quickly shifted it into safe mode and started the process all over again. There had to be something he could get out of this.

The scrape of furniture along the floor broke Leo out of his staring. Looks like he couldn't have even a shred of time to himself. He set the laptop down and walked out into the living room. "Missy? What are you doing?" he asked. It was safe to be on the offensive.

"Cleaning!" she yelled back. A tinge of anger was in her voice. He rounded the corner to find her in the kitchen. All the chairs around the dining table had been pulled out, and she was fervently sweeping something. Maybe he had gotten through to her after all. She dropped the broom accidentally and she loudly growled. Or maybe he hadn't. "Stupid fucking hands!" She shook her hands violently, as if trying to shake them off. Missy stared at the broom, then picked it up. She went right back to the sweeping only to drop it again. Leo took a step forward. Missy turned to grab at the dustpan next to her but only managed to knock it over. She hissed and kicked the thing, only sending dust about. The outburst almost startled Leo.

Leo held up his hands, then put them back down. Probably shouldn't act like you're flaunting your superiority. "Easy. No need to get so worked up."

"I'm trying, see! I'm really goddamn trying! I can't do anything with these stupid things!" She smacked her hand on the table in defiance, instantly recoiling in pain. "Agh, fuck!"

"Why didn't you just use the vacuum? You had no trouble with that last time." Leo crossed his arms.

"I was going to, but I can't plug the fucking thing in. At all." Something told Leo she was being more defeatist than actually working in reality. Not that he'd tell that to her directly. "So I thought, hey, I'm a big girl, I can use the broom. No. Not at all." She rubbed her hand.

Leo walked around the table, picking up the broom and dustpan. "Show me how you were grabbing it," he said, holding them up to her. Missy sighed and grabbed them. Awkwardly, of course. She wrapped her whole hand around the handles, giving her very little manipulation. "OK, OK, stop. Let's just do this once at a time, OK?"

"It's not gonna make a difference," Missy replied quietly. "Just kick me out already."

"We don't want that. Now c'mon." He set aside the dustpan and held up the broom. "Like this." He pointed his index finger down, then wrapped the rest of his hand around the handle. "Now you try." 

"I said it's not gonna make a difference, Leo," Missy said, voice rising.

"It will. Grab it." He pushed it into her hand. She took it up and crudely copied him. "See? You have a greater range of motion now and a more firm grip." Leo carefully manipulated her fingers so they would better grip the thing. "There. Now try. Make sure this pushes against your elbow." Missy tried it. She was more effective at mess cleaning than ever before, which was a huge bonus. "Not so hard, is it?" 

Missy swept for a few seconds. "No."

"So now you just hold the dustpan like before and..." He carefully handled her arms, helping her sweep along dirt into the pan. "Presto. Got it?" 

"This is like when that ghost helped that lady do pottery." Leo sighed and pulled away from her. At least she was back to her old self. "Did'ja mean it?" she asked as she slowly swept.

"Do you ever clarify?"

"That you didn't want me to leave." He did say 'we' didn't he? That annoying little word that had to be shoved into his vocabulary.

Leo turned away and shook his head. "I want you to be better."

"That's not the question here," Missy replied calmly. Her eyes were focused on the sweeping but he could still somehow feel her staring at him. A small smile tugged on the corners of her mouth. Wouldn't have surprised him if she somehow had another set of pupils hidden underneath the white of her eye.

"No, I don't. I do, however, want you to improve yourself."

"So you really do want me to stay, huh?"

"I said 'don't want you to leave', but sure."

"I want you to say it though," Missy said in a cutesy voice.

Leo rolled his eyes. "I answered the question. That's all you'll get out of me." He didn't want to say the next part, which was, since he knew about her now, he'd feel some ounce of tiny, itchy guilt that would plague him for the rest of his days. It wouldn't hurt. It would annoy. Endlessly. Only slightly more than she already annoyed him. Like a thumbtack inched into his forehead.

"Uhuh." Her smile widened. She probably knew that too. It hurt just how much Missy was stupid and yet so intuitive. "It makes me happy, you know?"

"Good to hear." Leo stopped himself from furrowing his brow as he always did. 

Missy's sweeping slowed. "Because like, when you think about it, none of the other guys probably wanted me to stay other than for"--she rolled her head--"ya know."

"Right." He wanted to leave but couldn't in the off chance that she screwed up again.

"You though. Ain't nothing to it other than liking me." Her smile softened, which only fired alarms in his head. She was about to say something stupid. "I guess this is the best place for me." Wait for it. "Since uh, you don't wanna do it." There it was. Missy had some semblance of a point, no amtter how stupidly she put it. "I'm clean, honest." And how stupidly she continued to put it.

"Just keep at the work, OK?" Leo said, ignoring most of her rambling. He moved to the fridge and pulled out a fruit drink. "You've gotten the hang of it now."

"I wanna do something for tomorrow. That OK?"

Not really. "What'd you have in mind?" Leo asked, only barely masking the disinterest in his voice.

"I saw you with all those funny fish hooks. We could go out to the lake and fish, huh? That sound good?"

Leo sipped his drink. "You mean I would fish and you would sit there, right?"

"I got long arms. Could reach out and snatch some fish!"

"You are not dirtying your arms like that. Plus you don't know what bacteria's in there."

Missy stuck out her tongue. "OK, yeah, you fish then. Just make sure you don't dump me when you catch a fish lady."

"Not to worry, I'm sure you're one of a kind in the monster category." It made him appreciate for a moment that Missy had legs to walk around on and didn't have to crawl everywhere or maybe inch along like a caterpillar. He certainly lucked out in the monstrosity department. Though again, if she existed, who knew what miserable creations roamed the Earth?

"Good to hear. I'll be expecting my trophy any day now!" She stepped back and examined her handiwork. Leo did much of the shame. For such an uneasy grip, she had managed to do a reasonable job. "It did make a difference." She nodded. "Thanks, Leo." That sounded earnest.

"You're welcome."

"So about those clothes..."

Leo set down his drink and took the cleaning tools away from her. "We'll talk about them after you work more, alright?"

"Fine, fine, but I get to pick!"

"I guess that's fair." All the worst novelty clothes flashed through his thoughts. Maybe that wasn't fair. Not to him and his eyes. "I get to see them first, though."

"Sure, sure. I'll wear 'em just for you."

He had zero doubts she would do exactly that. "Before you buy them."

"Where's the fun in that?"


	19. Chapter 19

Leo awoke early. A sensation of unease hit him, and he was quick to realize why. His right arm bent back, being gripped tightly by Missy. He shifted onto his back, giving the arm a firm tug. Only slightly better than being hugged to death. "Missy," he said. Her eyes tightened but her grip loosened. Leo looked up at the window, realizing it was quite dark outside. Did he get up at the right time? He checked his phone's clock. 7:30 exactly. Stormy day, then? Might not be the best time for fishing, but the thought was still tantalizing. He pulled free from Missy, turned off his alarm before it rang, and stood up. He rounded the bed to peer out the window blinds.

Not stormy. Foggy. That was a nice change of pace. That would be a lovely time to fish. The moisture in the air, the clouds across the water, the stillness of everything. Leo looked back to Missy, who was still deep in the grasp of sleep. She was twitching ever so slightly. No need to wake her, she was fine. Leo tiptoed out into the hallway as quickly as he could. He quietly pulled out his towel and slipped into the bathroom. Leo practically rushed through his shower. Had been a long while since a good fog rolled in. It would probably make the lake seem all the more serene. Could be good for a few pictures too. He stepped back out into the hallway. It was hard to resist not immediately gathering up his fishing supplies. He should get dressed first, though, he figured.

Selecting a lure was the hardest part of the process. Leo looked at the collection of lures he had. Jigs would probably be best for catching catfish, but there could have been anything in the water. A few jigs, then a spinner too, just in case there were Minnows. He walked to a closet and pulled out one of his smaller rods. Good thing Missy wasn't here to make a joke about that. Lurebox check. Boots check. Backpack check. All the other little essentials check. Perfect. This was going to be great.

Leo stepped out into the hallway and walked into the living room. Missy was staring at the window, completely stiff. As he walked forward his fishing rod bumped into the wall, causing a loud clacking sound. Missy jumped in surprise and scrambled away from the window. Her feet struggled to find purchase, her claws loudly scratching at the floor but making no movement until a few seconds later when she nearly smashed into a wall. "You're gonna give me a heart attack!" she yelled, one hand over her heaving chest.

"It's only me," Leo said with a shrug. He moved over to the couch to set his things down.

"You're gonna go fishing? In this weather?"

"Sure, just some fog." Almost couldn't see the treeline in the distance. That would probably look great down at the lake. He looked at his gear for one last check up. Would be miserable to forget one tiny thing and have to trudge back. All seemed to be in order, so he gathered up his supplies once again.

"Wait!"

"What?"

"Uh, you sure you wanna go fishing? Like, you're not gonna see anything out there, right? How're you gonna fish?" She lowered her hand from her chest. "What if you fell in? Heh, would be pretty silly."

"It's not that bad." Leo took a step forward.

"You sure?" Missy asked, stepping in front of him.

"Yeah."

"Why do you wanna go fishing today anyways? Thought we could stay in and uh, sleep?"

"Well, you did suggest it." Leo turned his head slightly. "You change your mind?"

"Nah, no. I mean, not unless you have." She shrugged. "Just thought you might wanna fish on a sunny day. You know, get a nice tan. I think you'd look good with one." Leo took another step and stopped again. "Plus, the air is all wet with the fog. Kinda gross, don't you think?"

"No?" Leo said. "You get wet when you fish."

"But like, not super wet."

Leo was surprised she didn't turn that into a terrible innuendo. "Depends on what you're fishing. Really only catfish in there, but I came prepared just in case."

"Eat catfish? Gross." Missy put on an exaggerated disgusted face.

"Didn't say we'd eat them."

"Why fish then?"

"For the fun of it."

Missy paused, then closed the distance between them. "How about we save fishing for some other day?" There was a twitch to her ears.

Leo sighed. "Alright, what's wrong?"

Missy's eyes darted to the side. She hesitated and then replied, "I don't wanna go out there."

"That's fine, you can stay here. Lock the door if you want. I got my keys." Leo tried to sidestep her but she quickly grabbed him by the arm.

"No, no, no, no, no. I need you here too." She tugged on him with a frown.

Leo shook his head and hefted his gear up. "It's a great day outside, I don't want to miss it. It's practically calling out to me." He held up a hand to the door.

Missy's eyes widened to an unbearable extreme. It was like her pupils were only pinpoints now. "I felt that too." Her grip tightened. "It's not good at all. There is something out there that wants us!"

"Look, if you wanted to stay in bed all day, you should have suggested it yesterday. Now all I've got is fishing on the mind." He smiled. "I won't be stolen by a fish woman, don't worry." At least she would stay in a lake and not his bed.

"This isn't funny! If you go out there you're not gonna come back!" she said with a rasp to her voice. She feebly tried to pull him away from the door. Leo stood there for a few seconds deciding his options. He looked out into the grey void. Had it inched up closer since he last looked? There was a slightly alluring feeling to that nothingness. Would look amazing up close. His attention turned back to Missy, who urged again with a tug. He could feel her heart hammering through her chest. Even if there was nothing out there, she truly believed there was.

Leo relented and followed Missy's tugging over to the couch, where she sat down. "You mind if I set this down?" he asked calmly. She loosened her grip on him letting him wriggle some distance away from her, but she still held onto his hand. "You really think something's out there?" Missy pulled on his arm. He followed her command and sat down next to her.

"Yes. I don't know how, or- or- or why. I just know it's there. You thought of it too, right? That you wanted to go out there?" Her teeth were bared.

"That was mostly an expression, Missy. It looked nice outside." 

He leaned over to stare out the window again, and was promptly pushed back into place by Missy's hand. "Don't look! Promise me you won't look," she said.

"Alright, easy." He looked over to her hand still resting on his cheek. Leo opted not to pull away in the off chance that her paranoia got the better of her or she flinched and sliced his face into ribbons. "I'm not gonna look." He frowned. "But what do you want to do then? Just sit here?" It was such a nice day too.

"I don't know, but we are not going out there. Do you hear me? Not!" She shook her head. Her hand slowly lowered from his face, gliding across his neck, chest, then falling limp on his lap. "I don't wanna lose you now," she said, eyes downcast. That sounded a little too dramatic. He wasn't sure if it would be worse if she was lying or being sincere.

"I'm not going anywhere, OK? Door's still locked. I'm right here next to you."

"Good." Yeah, good. Leo settled into the couch. One hand of his was still firmly in her grasp, completely unmoving. Seconds passed, then minutes. Missy inched over to him bit by bit until her chest was forced up against his arm. "Can... Can we cover up the windows or something?"

"Thought I wasn't supposed to look?"

Missy huffed. "You can look for a little bit. Just don't go out."

Leo looked down at his hand. "I'm going to need that arm back, by the way." Missy pulled off of him, then let go of his hand, allowing blood to flow freely through it again. "Thank you. He stood up and shook his hand, letting the blood work its way back into the poor thing. She might have been weak, but she had one hell of a grip. Guess he wasn't going anywhere. Oh well. He kicked off his shoes and walked over to the living room window to flick the shutters closed. Felt a little too constricting and dark in here now. If anything, it would be easier for whatever's out there to get them in here. Leo decided not to mention that, instead moving to the other windows dotted around the house and closing them up as well. "That good?" Leo asked as he flicked on the lights.

"Yeah, a little." Missy beckoned him back over to the couch. Leo followed her lead and sat down. "You really aren't freaked out by what's out there?"

"I have a few guns." Probably shouldn't have said that. He shook his head. "I live a mile away from town. There's always help if something goes wrong."

"And? What if they're too late to get here?" Missy said.

"Well, I'll rest in the grave easy knowing whatever's out there will probably get shot if something happens to me."

"What about me?"

Oh, right. "Guess I haven't thought about that. Sorry."

"You should really get your guns, you know." Her eyes darted about.

"With you in the house?" Leo chuckled and shook his head. "I don't think so. We're fine."

"I can't protect the house!"

"Not what I was getting at." They were sitting firmly in their lockboxes anyways. Leo wasn't going to pull anything out for Missy, no matter how delirious she got.

"You... You wanna head to the bedroom?"

"Is the couch not safe enough?" Leo said, examining it. He patted it to reassure her.

"What if it smashes in the front door?"

"It moves through fog yet can smash doors in too? Why even use the fog? Just smash in doors at night."

"Don't say that!"

"I'm just trying to get you to realize this is all a bit silly." Yeah? And Missy would have been a bit silly to you a few months ago. Hm.

"There's always something worse around the corner."

"It's not like you've seen anything really scary." Leo shrugged. "Maybe the terrifying state of some guy's room."

Missy looked at Leo. "Have you seen me? What's worse than me? Huh?" Her voice became more agitated as she spoke. Her teeth clenched. "What's out there that I don't know?"

"Relax, you're getting way too worked up over this." He thought of a dumb joke and tried to put on a more comforting smile. "What if it's just a cousin outside that came to say hello? From what super city you were talking about?" He couldn't believe he was actually taking her dumb words and throwing them back at her.

Her ears flattened and her expression soured further. "I don't want to meet them!" Leo's cheesy smile quickly faded. He cleared his throat. Alright, not the best choice of words. "Can we just go in the bedroom now?"

Lazing about in bed with Missy was not how he wanted to spend the day, but it was clear she wouldn't budge. Maybe he felt bad for her too. Who else was she going to turn to? Leo sighed and nodded. Missy quickly took the opportunity to grab his hand, following him closely as possible, almost tripping him up as he stood. He dragged her along to the bedroom, which he honestly never expected to do. Don't think of it like that, ugh. Missy settled onto the bed while Leo sat on his side. Just as the morning, his arm was bent uncomfortably back. "Can you lay down too?" Missy asked as she shuffled herself under the sheets.

"Why? Isn't this good enough?"

"I feel like you're gonna get up and leave any second." It's always something else.

"Look, Missy, I just got out of bed. It's gonna drive me crazy if I get right back into--" Missy tugged on his arm firmly with a grim frown. She wasn't taking this well at all. "Fine, OK." He eased onto his back and stared up at the ceiling.

"Close the door."

"If the fog monster can smash through doors, what use will closing it be?" Missy whined. "Alright, alright. We'll close this door too, just calm down." He did as she commanded, shutting the door and bathing the room in darkness. 

Leo reached up to the lightswitch. "No! Just leave the lights off." 

"I thought monsters were afraid of the light?" Leo asked as he settled back into bed. Missy took his hand back up again. There was a little too much touching going on today for his taste.

She turned more toward him. "Anything that's gonna kill you is just gonna find you in the light." That sounded right, but also wrong. Applying adult logic to a childish scenario. In some way it possibly wasn't a childish scenario. She could have some sort of other sense he lacked entirely. Now she was getting the better of you too. He rubbed his eyes. Someone had to be the adult here, preferably it should be him.

"Alright, well, what now?"

"You're not leaving, right?" Her eyes were quite stark in what little light there was. Yeah, she was the only monster here.

"No. I'm not leaving." He shook his head. "I am a little hungry now, though."

"We can eat when the fog clears, OK? Just a little bit." Leo wanted to ask what it was that she expected to happen if he set foot out there. Better not push her buttons right now. "I don't want to... to risk it. Just in case."

"Is the kitchen not safe?" Leo asked.

"Fog gets in, somehow. I don't know. It seeps!" She pulled his arm onto her. So it moved through the fog like a fish or something? "Why aren't you under the sheets?" she said suddenly.

"Kinda in full clothes. Would be too hot. Aren't you hot?"

"No. It doesn't matter."

"OK, alright." He held back a sigh. This was getting to be a bit much. He wriggled under the sheets. Briefly he considered undoing his pants to alleviate some of the warmth, but figured that would be too weird. Taking his shirt off would be out of the question, considering Missy seemed to be in the process of merging with his arm. He supposed could endure it. For now, anyways. "Is that good enough?"

Missy looked about the room before finally replying, "Yeah. For now." She relaxed an ounce. "Just keep your voice down, OK?" she said, suddenly switching to a whisper.

"OK, then." It was an uncomfortable scenario for sure, but there was a nice bit of serenity he hadn't felt in a while. Calming darkness. Calm tones. Buried under the sheets. If his arm weren't being torn out of its socket, he might've enjoyed the change of pace from Missy's full blast incessant activity. "Can I turn on the air at le--"

"It'll hear!" she hissed. That's a no, then.

"OK, no air." He swallowed. "Can I have my arm back for a second? It's getting hot." Missy stared at him wordlessly. A few moments later she let his arm go. "Thank you." He rushed out of his shirt and let it fall to the floor. He considered removing his pants too. Better leave them there for now. He held his arm out to be grabbed again before he realized what he was doing. Missy wasted no time in taking up his offer, pulling it right back to her side. Oh well.

"Do you hear anything?" Missy asked.

"Other than your breathing, no."

"What's that humming?"

"Probably the fridge."

"...Oh, right."

"Nothing is going to get you in here, believe me." Not the most comforting words, but what was he supposed to say about a supposed fog monster?

"We don't know that."

"Don't you trust me?"

Missy had no answer for that, but she did wrap her other arm around his captive arm. "The front door is locked, right?"

"Yes. I always lock the front door. Every time I go in, every time I go out. You want me to check?"

"No! I mean, I believe you. Just stay here."

"OK, then."

"The windows too?"

"What?" Leo asked.

"All the windows are shut too, right?" Again her voice seemed to rise as she spoke.

"They're always closed. Don't want bugs getting in."

"This is worse than a bug!"

"I know, I was just-- Yes, the windows are closed." The silence quickly returned. Almost shocking to have such a quiet moment with Missy. He could almost hear that faint humming now. Yeah, that was the fridge, he assured himself. Leo's mind slowly became more restless as they laid in the dark. There were so many things he could be tending to. And work? Vernon said he'd send something over. What if it was important? He glanced at Missy. Well, maybe not as important at the moment. "You feeling alright now?"

"I still feel it," Missy said. She pushed her head up against his arm.

Leo pursed his lips. "Do you... remember when we'd get scared of something? Way back when?" Missy didn't respond, but also didn't object. "We'd take some of your stuffed toys and put them under the blankets." Suddenly feeling like a sucker for the past, huh? "We'd get under it too and, well, pretend the bed was a boat." He pulled the sheets up and over their heads. "So that way we'd be completely safe. See?"

"Yeah. I remember that." Missy sighed. "I miss those toys." Her breathing slowed. "You think we're gonna be safe here?"

"Worked for us before, didn't it?"

"I guess."

"So it should work now."

Missy nodded. "I'm a little hungry now too."

"You want me to get a snack, then?"

"I don't know yet." Her breathing picked up.

"Alright, we can wait a little longer then," Leo quickly replied. "Going to be a long, long time until we starve. Right?"

"What if the fog doesn't go away?"

"Physically impossible." Leo wasn't sure how true that was. It was probably right. Didn't really matter either way.

"I don't want it to get in."

"And it won't, everything is closed. Doors closed. Windows shut. Blanket secure." There was probably one more thing he could do to ease her nerves. It was hot enough, though. He didn't need that, especially not to lord over him later when she was thinking more soberly.

Missy curled up more. "Still, something feels wrong. I'm too bare!" No, c'mon. Her breathing quickened. It really didn't have to come to this, did it? Her grip tightened. He already did so much. "Leo?" she asked softly. Fine. Fine! Leo shut his eyes, rolled them, then pulled her into a far too warm hug.

"Is that better?" he asked, trying to hide the wincing in his words.

Missy sniffled. "Yeah, thanks." She sniffled again and let out a soft whine. The hug tightened. Getting a little hard to breathe. If anything she was the real threat here. "Thank you," she said again. With no way to work her arm underneath him, she instead slipped it around his neck and down his back, while her head snuggled into his neck.

"Do you think we can take off the blankets now?" Leo said with a barely contained wheeze.

"OK," Missy said uneasily. Leo pulled back the covers, bathing him in that sweet, cool air. Thank God. He took a deep breath of air. Missy peeled away for him for a second to examine the environment, then snapped right back into her frightened position. At the very least she wasn't clawing at his back, though they still teased at his skin. "Nothing's there, right? Right?"

"Nothing." From what he could see. Hopefully it wasn't a ghost plaguing the place. "See? All the seals worked."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm looking right now. The only things in the room are us." Who were now becoming one, by the looks of it. Were she any bulkier, he'd probably still feel trapped under blankets. A hand suddenly pushed him back into place. Sheesh. "I need to look, Missy. We can't stay cooped up like this all day." He couldn't, in any case. Missy most definitely could, and relish every second of it. She pushed back harder before letting him pull back again. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

"You can't see anything?!" Missy barked.

"No-- I mean, yes, I can see just fine." Leo rolled his eyes and gave her a pat on the arm. He had hoped that would ease her nerves, but she only squeezed tighter. He silently thanked heaven that she hadn't dug her claws into him just yet. "I'll protect you." Knight in shining pants over here. Anything to calm her down. "Here. Breathe in." Leo took a deep breath. "Breathe out." Then let it all out. Missy shakily followed his example, slowly winding herself down from the terror. "Now, I'm gonna stand up, OK?" Missy nodded. "Not going to leave the room. Not going to step away from the bed." She nodded again. Thank goodness. Leo took the time to carefully unhook himself from Missy, then sat up. God, it felt like he'd been like that for an hour. He resisted the urge to brush off any stray monster hairs on him, lest the noise spook said monster.

Leo stood up, taking the opportunity to stretch his legs. He looked back to assess Missy. Not as bad as she was, but her face was firmly planted into her palms. Just in case she was peering at him, Leo glanced around the room for anything suspicious. Nothing would be, of course. Fog is fog. The only frightening thing he had ever found in fog were terrible drivers in beatup clunkers. Yet, a small part of him almost expected to find something lingering. Missy was getting the better of him, and how could she not? She was a demon as dark as night with claws as sharp as butcher's knives and she was scared of a little fog? Something had to be off. Leo rubbed his eyes and tried to shove that thought to the far side of his mind. "I don't see anything wrong here." Leo sat back down. "You can open your eyes, Missy."

Those gangly hands slid away, revealing an all too disheveled and scared girl. She continued his breathing routine. "Only me." Her eyes darted around the room. Missy had the worst of both worlds. Not only did her eyes make her unsettling under the right circumstances, but they also made her look so terribly vulnerable under the wrong circumstances. A giant, sharp teddy bear. Not enough to want to hug again. Enough to make him feel bad, of course. "Look, do you want to talk about it?" He laid back down, and was quickly taken back into fuzzy custody. Should've seen that coming.

Missy sniffled. "You know when you get that-- that electricity thing on your hair?"

"Static electricity," Leo replied.

"Yeah it's like"--she placed her head on his shoulder--"I feel that all over." She kicked her legs and rubbed her face against him. "I hate it!"

"You ever feel it before?"

"No..."

"Well, I'm glad you're here to warn me about it."

"You don't think it's anything," Missy replied, annoyed.

"It's probably not, but in the incredibly small chance that you're right. I'm glad you're here." Didn't picture himself saying those words, ever. He gave her hand a gentle pat.

"I can feel it moving." She groaned, wrapping a leg around his. Better than a hug, he supposed.

"Feel what?"

"I don't know!" Fair enough. Leo stared up, wondering when this would all end. He chastised himself for his callous thoughts. Missy wants this to be over as much as you do. Yeah, well, she probably had worse things to be worried about. Of course, the more cynical side of him wondered again if this was some sort of lame ploy to pull one over on him. He looked down at her. Missy's lips and eyes were tightly shut. No. No it wasn't. He sighed and pulled the sheets back over them. Leo figured he could stand another 15 minutes in sweltering heat.

"What was the dolphin's name?" Leo asked.

"What?"

"You know, the stuffed dolphin you had. What was its name?"

"It was an orca."

Swing and a miss. "OK, sorry. What was the Orca's name?"

"She was just Flipper."

"You had a crab to go with it, right?"

"Yeah." Missy's leg unwound from his. "Cranky, I think he was, or... or Crinkly."

"I know I gave the orca to you. I think it was a school field trip."

"Yeah, to an aquarium."

"You were pretty mad you couldn't go."

"It wasn't fair."

Leo shook his head. "No, no it wasn't."

Missy's voice lowered. "But you got me the orca 'cause of it." She snorted. "I know you said something really silly, but I liked it. 'I brought back the aquarium for you.' It was so dumb."

"Was I wrong? I tried my best," Leo replied with a soft laugh. "No way I was carrying the real deal out of there."

"You said that too or something like it." Her hand splayed across his chest. "I can almost see it in my head. Like we're still back there, saying stupid things."

"I know you squeaked when I showed you the orca and gave it to you."

"I didn't squeak!" Missy said, a giggle bubbling in her uneasy, scratchy voice.

"Like a dog toy. You still squeak when you get excited."

"I do not." She paused. "OK, then you get this doofus look when you work on something. Like your eyes are gonna pop out and roll away."

"It's because my work is just that good. You'd be popping eyeballs too if you had my lure collection."

"I don't wanna bag of plastic fish."

"Not all fish."

"OK, dork, not all fish." Missy's voice slowly but surely took on her regular tone, creeping out from under the almost pained gargling she had minutes ago. "Why do you have those? Is one fake fishy not enough?"

"No. Imagine if you used a dazzler on a catfish."

"Wha?"

"Imagine if I tried to lure you out with a piece of lettuce instead of pizza."

Missy let out a low, raspy laugh. "I guess that makes sense, but like, you look over them. Y'know, like those guys who collect coins?" 

"What's wrong with collecting things?"

"Kinda just... funny. I dunno. Do you just look at 'em? What's the point?"

"To have something neat to look at. To know you have a piece of history, and have something useful too."

"I guess, but like"--Missy cleared her throat--"do you rest well at night knowing you have the super duper dual hook flashy fish in a box?"

"Yes, yes I do," Leo replied earnestly. "Maybe you should start collecting stuff. Might give you something to do around the house."

"Maybe you start buying soda and I can collect soda cans."

"Unless you're planning on elaborate can sculptures, no."

"You know I can't do art with these." She squeezed his chest with her open hand. The sensation felt wrong. Could've been that she had whacked out proportions, or that it was Missy doing that. Probably the latter.

"It'll take some practice, I'm sure," Leo replied, adjusting under her curious grasp. There was an uncomfortable silence afterward. Missy subtly moved her hand across his skin. Better than her freaking about the fog, but not by much.

"You're a lot softer than I thought you'd be."

"What?" Leo said, a slight annoyance edging into his voice.

"I mean, uh, since you know, I got fur. Just surprised skin is like that too," Missy replied. She retracted her hand. "Never really touched other guys." Leo decided not to bring up her illicit contact beforehand.

"Did you think we had scales or something?" Leo asked.

"You ever looked at skin? Doesn't it look like scales? Real up close?"

"I haven't spent much time staring at my skin, no." Leo shook his head.

"Really?" She prodded at his body. "Thought you might be one'a those skin care guys."

"If I was, I'd be pretty annoyed with you touching me like that."

Missy withdrew her hand again. "Right. OK. Sorry."

Another lapse of silence. Leo tried to dig for more tiny connections to hold her attention, but he couldn't find any. A vast emptiness still rang hollow in his head. He didn't need to be distracted at a moment like this, so he directed his attention back to their hiding under the sheets. After a few more minutes of burning underneath bedding, Leo finally asked, "Do you want me to go check?"

Missy let whined softly. "You'll come right back?" At least she was keeping steady. Good.

"I just spent half an hour under the sheets in this heat. Of course I'll come back."

"Fine." Leo started to unravel himself from the fluffy coffin before being grabbed by Missy again. It was quick enough to make his heart leap. "But! You gotta keep talking to me. OK?"

"Maybe we should've gotten walkie-talkies," Leo said.

"Please?"

"OK, guess I'll yell out to you." He shrugged and pulled himself free, releasing himself back into fresh air. Missy peeked out from under the sheets, fingers wrapped around the edges. The image might've been unsettling if it weren't so amusing. Leo tiptoed out into the living room, even though he'd be yelling at the top of his lungs in a few seconds. "Don't see anything out here. Out of the ordinary, that is."

"Good!" Missy yelled back.

"I'm gonna open the window, alright?" No response from Missy. Leo walked up to the window, feeling a sense of deja vu. Right, this was just like that night. He half expected another, equally obnoxious creature to be standing out there, leering at him with a familiar idiotic grin. He hestitantly flipped open the shutters. Nope, just wilderness. The fog had receded, allowing a clearer look out onto the driveway and the distant road. "I don't see anything out there." Nothing except the missed opportunity of a fishing trip.

"Hurry up!" a voice squeaked back.

"Alright." A little longer. He wanted to at least enjoy a little bit of the day before being dragged back into hell. Leo had felt that the fog might relax him, but it occurred to him that he was already pretty relaxed at the moment. Still, it was pleasing to look out at such a rare day. He should've taken a picture. Yep, this would've been a day to remember. As he looked out into the distance, something caught his eye. A slight disturbance in the fog, past some shrubbery. A falling twig? Or... He squinted. Could've been a leg. Leo stared.

Nah, Missy must've been getting the better of him. He shook his head. "Leo? Leo?!" Missy cried out.

"Sorry, I'm fine. Coming back now." Leo sighed, trudging all the way back to the monster's cave. "See? Nothing to be afraid of." Missy sized him up like he was some sort of beast, then pulled herself from under the sheets.

"You didn't see anything?"

"Nothing."

"How do you know it wasn't invisible?" she said, worry plaguing her face.

Leo rubbed his eyes. "If it were, I would've seen its footsteps in the leaves, wouldn't I?"

Missy nodded, but her expression didn't improve. "OK," she said with a nod, looking directly ahead. "If you say so."

"I do say so." Leo placed his hands on his hips.

"What was I feeling, then?" she asked.

Leo sat down next to her. "I don't know. Could've been a bear--"

"A bear?!" Missy exclaimed, snapping to him.

"Yes, a bear. Those are things in the forest, if you hadn't guessed."

"Yeah, but... it felt worse than a bear."

"How?" Leo asked, genuinely curious.

"I guess it's like butterflies in your stomach." She balled her hand into as much of a fist as she could. "But worse. Like you ate a rock." She shivered. "I can still feel it." Oh for crying out loud.

"What about the static electricity feeling?"

"That's there too."

"You feel better though, right?" Leo asked, leaning forward.

"...A little bit." She sat up. "You're still gonna stay, right?"

"What for?"

"Doesn't feel good when you're gone."

God. "OK, fine." Leo guessed it was a good thing he got the day off. He didn't need to explain to the boss that his roommate had a terrible phobia of clouds.It was going to have to be two days at this rate. Better not jinx it. "Can I at least get a snack?"

"Yeah." Missy nodded. "Something for me too?" she asked politely.

"Don't see why not." He looked at her dead in the eyes. "I'll be right back. Got it?" Missy nodded. "Good. No need to yell then." He returned to the living room and headed straight for the kitchen, catching a glimpse of that lovely day once more. It occurred to him then that he might never actually get to enjoy a day like this. If this amount of fog was enough to set her off, then he'd never get a day like this to himself ever again. He reached up and pulled two bowls out of the cupboards, along with a box of cereal. Sugary treats ought to help soothe her nerves, right? Leo hadn't any real phobias to speak of, so he hadn't any clue how to treat them. If this was even a phobia. He glanced out the window again.

Never mind. It was definitely a phobia. Missy would just have to grow up and get over a foggy day. Leo poured cereal into both of the bowls, then pulled out some milk and poured it into one of them. Two spoons completed the gourmet dish, and he was on his way back to bedroom. He found Missy in the same position she was before, idly staring into space. She snapped to him as he sat down. "Here." Leo handed her a bowl. "It's not cooked, but I figured you might have some issues if I was out there for too long."

"Yeah, I would. Thanks." Missy looked down into her bowl. "Where's the milk?"

"You told me you don't like milk," Leo said as he began digging into his food. It felt like it had been ages since he ate.

"Oh, yeah." Missy took up her spoon and dug in as well. "I guess it's weird you remembered."

"I figured you were lactose intolerant and didn't want to say it."

A small grin snuck onto Missy's face. "Am not. I just don't like the stuff. It's gross."

"Alright, well, I guess you should be glad I remembered then."

"Yeah. Thanks."

Leo noticed a surprising lack of television. The fog monster probably hears televisions from ten miles away, so no wonder Missy left it off. The silence in the house felt alien, and yet, this used to be the norm. Weeks could go by without even touching the big rectangle, and now it wasn't a regular day if ten explosions hadn't rang out throughout the house. Missy glanced around the room. She probably wasn't used to deafening silence either. The only sounds Leo could hear was the crunch of cereal bits, but she hear a whole heck of a lot more. Occasionally she would look at him, then awkwardly avert her gaze elsewhere.

"You sure you don't want to turn on the idiot box?" Leo asked, motioning over to the television.

"What if it hears?" Right on the money.

"You sure it can't hear us talking right now?" Missy perked up and shut her mouth. Bad idea. "If it could we'd already have seen it, OK?" Slowly she returned to eating. "Just thought you might be a little bored."

"Hard to be bored right now," she said, prodding at her cereal. "I just wanna make sure I can hear it coming."

"I'm sure I'd hear it too," Leo replied.

"You've got human ears though."

"And? You're saying mine's worse than yours?"

Missy nodded. "I am a precision hunter," she said matter-of-factly.

"Precision? You should've told that to the grouse."

"You know what I mean. I'm made for the wild. Doesn't everything out there have good hearing?"

"I suppose." Leo finished up the rest of his cereal. "Doesn't mean you can discount humans entirely though. When's the last time you needed your hearing except to listen to corny dialogue anyways?" Grouse aside.

"Never, I guess, but it's not like your hearing just stops working 'cause you're not lookin' for things to kill."

"What makes you even think a fog monster can hear at all? Maybe it just bumps into things like a jellyfish." Leo cleared his throat and set his bowl down. "In which case, you'd really have nothing to worry about."

"What if it's something like me?" Missy said all too seriously.

"Consider the odds, Missy. How likely is it that there'd be two creatures entirely unknown to science out in this neck of the woods?"

"Pretty small, I guess, but they go up as I stay here!" Her ears flattened and she slightly ducked down. She lowered her voice and continued, "Think about it."

"I am thinking about it. It's silly." Leo noticed she had finished her own bowl and set it in his own. "But alright, we'll do it your way," he said, lowering his voice in tandem with hers. "I'm gonna put these up."

"Can't you just leave them on the night stand?"

"And attract bugs?"

"Fine." Missy fell back and stowed herself away in the protective layers of thin sheets again. "Hurry up. Please."

"Yeah, alright." Leo did just that. Going to the kitchen and quickly back out. It pained him that he couldn't wash the bowls, but he knew Missy would throw a hissy fit if she heard the sink going off. Better than leaving them to rot in the bedroom at the very least. "What now?" he asked as he sat down once more. His body nagged at him to get up, to go do something. Even if he just pounded his head into a wall.

"Get under the sheets."

"I'm really not going anywhere," Leo said, but still following her word. Back to square one. He almost wished that there would be a fog monster busting down his door. At least it'd give him something to do. "Is this your first time seeing fog?" Leo asked as he stared up at the ceiling. Maybe he could start counting all the bumps in the plaster.

"I guess the first time out here, yeah," Missy replied, inching over to his side. "I saw it before when I was a kid, or teen, whatever." Was. Yeah, right. 'Is', more like.

"Was it scary the other times?"

"Not really." Missy flipped onto her side, now directly looking at Leo. He could faintly feel her warm breath across his skin, sending uneasy goosebumps across his skin. Leo rubbed his arm.

"What makes this any different?"

"It's just you and me. The only person who's gonna see it before it's too late is you or me." She looked down. "I don't wanna lose you like that, and I know you don't really like me here but..."

"Oh quit it, Missy." Leo rubbed his forehead. "I'd be pretty--" What would the word be? Pissed? Sad? Scared? "Upset. Upset if something took you away." He sighed. Not the most descriptive wording, but it fit.

"You would?" she asked, eyes lighting up.

"Didn't I already tell you I didn't want you to leave?" he replied, turning toward her. "That should've been enough."

"I thought you were being nice. 'Specially since you were asking me to do work n' all."

"Look, even if you were lounging around all day doing nothing, I still wouldn't want you to be dragged off by anything, OK?" He realized what he was saying and added, "Don't get any funny ideas about being lazy, though."

Missy smiled, but quickly snuffed it out. "I won't." Her smile quickly returned, wavering. "I didn't ever think I'd hear that from you. Uhm, you really mean it though, right?" She looked up at him.

"Yes." Although he severely wished he could retract it.

"Oh. Cool. I mean, thanks." She let out an awkward laugh. "I was kinda worried, but never mind."

"Yeah, never mind." Leo struggled to meet her own gaze. "So you feeling any better? That pit in your stomach going away?"

"Not since last you asked. Still feels weird." Not full blown panic was an improvement in any case. In Leo's boredom, he found himself examining Missy, having adjusted to the darkness. Her eyes still nervously looked around when they weren't trained directly on Leo himself. It seemed like she might've wanted to say something else. He didn't need another imaginary thing to dwell on, so he let her keep that one to herself. Amusing how one of her greatest fears had her behaving for once. This must've been what it was like for the creator of the boogeyman.

"Anything to help?" Leo asked, slightly exasperated. Missy mumbled something. "What?" She mumbled again. "I guess this must be what you mean by superior hearing. Speak up."

"Would another hug be OK?" Missy said.

Leo stifled a laugh at the absurdity of the question. "Wasn't the one enough?" Oh no. She was serious. "I mean, it's a little too hot for that. Still sweaty from spending time under the sheets." She only stared up at him with those damned eyes. Stop it. This is all your fault anyways. I should be out there soaking in the scenery. Not stuck in here hoping you won't snap because it's cloudy outside. Missy stared. "That's what you really want, huh?" Leo glanced away. "Why?" Missy furrowed her brow. Dumb question, of course. "Alright. Alright." It was hard to approach her like this when it wasn't a spur of the moment decision.

The man raised his arm and inched forward, then clasped around her. Missy only adjusted her head to lay on top of his, letting him do the rest of the work. She chirrup as she moved into position, sending weird vibrations through his head. It was still surprising just how soft she was, all the way down to her fingertips, which were now easing down his back. The beat of her heart had steadied and she relaxed into him. It felt wrong. Wrong because it was Missy, or wrong because you haven't touched someone like this in a while? He really needed something to take his mind off of everything. "Thanks," Missy said. 

"You're welcome," Leo replied robotically. "So that good enough?" Missy's response was a tightening of her grip and a small whimper. Figures. This was your life now. Leo looked up at the window. Was that so bad? She was getting better at the very least. Is that honeymoon period over yet? This was his reward for sticking through to the end of it? Something like that, he figured. Probably his fault for even giving her a hug in the first place, pushing open that door for her to abuse. Look at you, fretting over a hug. 

Leo placed a hand on her back and gave her a gentle pat. Missy let out a low, relaxed growl. She deserved it for this once. Just this once. Stupid fog.


	20. Chapter 20

As much as she deserved some soothing, she probably didn't deserve a whole nap in his arms. Leo found himself stuck in the grasp of a beast as she snored away. Unfortunately he had gotten a little too relaxed and let her wrap her arms around him like fleshy vines, anchoring him to the spot. He was able to bend back and grab at his phone, affording him at least some amusement in the several minutes of wall staring. No work, though. Vernon probably lied about that little detail. Figures. Missy twitched and grumbled in her sleep. She hadn't stabbed or bitten into him yet, so it must've been a good sleep. Hard to imagine she could be so peaceful after hearing her go on about how much a creature in the mist was going to tear them to shreds.

Suddenly, Missy's calm breathing came to a stop with a snort. Some odd snuffling came out of her, then she yawned and grunted into a stretch. There was some prodding before Missy pulled back to size up Leo. "Sorry," she said with a yawn. "You're super comfy, you know that?"

"That's nice. Can I have my body back now?" Leo asked, setting his phone down.

"Yeah." She stretched once more and pulled away. "There you go," she said with another yawn.

"I'm going to make lunch now."

"Wait!"

"What? Aren't you hungry?"

"Well, yeah, of course," she said, taking hold of his hand. Today would have to be one of those three shower days. "What if that thing's still out there though?"

"Look, it's been nearly an hour since you slept. It's definitely gone." He tugged back, but Missy's grip held.

"I still feel it," Missy replied. She cocked her head. "Wait, you waited for me for a whole hour?"

"Nearly. Nearly a whole hour." Leo tugged again. "Now I'm hungry."

"But..." Her eyes did that ridiculous teddy bear thing again. That killed his appetite.

Leo rolled his own eyes. The straw was mounting ever higher on that camel. "OK, I get it. I'm going to disappear if I walk out there." He plopped back down onto the bed. "Fine."

"Thanks." Missy quickly scooted up next to him, but thankfully relinquished his arm.

"So what are we going to do while waiting this out?" Leo crossed his arms and resumed counted the plaster spots on the ceiling.

"We could try talking again?" Missy said. 

"No, thanks. I'm good." Leo closed his eyes. Maybe he could get some sleep. A waste of time to be sure, but for once, sitting here felt exhausting.

"Hey!" The man snapped awake again. "Don't fall asleep on me."

"Why? You got a nap."

"Yeah but you're supposed to protect me," Missy said.

"I thought the fog thing was going to kill both of us?" Leo replied.

"Only if we're apart."

"So what, sleeping is apart? Can't wake me if fog starts pouring into the room?"

"No." Of course not, no. That would make too much sense. Missy was alien to logic, so it was only natural to expect that she'd completely ignore it. "Maybe we can watch some TV though?" she asked sheepishly. At least that meant she was getting over it.

"It's not gonna hear us?"

"I think it's going away, we should be fine," Missy said with a nod.

"Sure, turn on the boob tube." Leo motioned toward the television. Never had he been happier to say those words. Something to at least work his mind in a dreary time like this. Missy cautiously grabbed the remote, then settled back against Leo's side. Bam, the television was on and he had something to stimulate his weary mind. Television had been just about as worthless as the last time he watched it. Now though, now he drank it up like it was the last thing he'd ever see. Explosions, dramas, and slow documentaries. Missy flipped through them all, but of course lowering the volume before she did so. Wouldn't want the monster in the woods to hear them watching ALF, right? Heaven forbid.

They continued on this for what must've been half an hour. Leo's mind slowly disengaged from the visual drug. He had gotten his fill of mindless entertainment to get his mind jogging, letting it wander to other places. Like the snout laying on his arm, or the chest pressed up against him, or the hand rubbing up against his. Missy had completely relaxed into him. "Missy," Leo said flatly.

"Yeah?"

"You seem awfully calm."

"Oh?"

"That pit in your stomach gone?" There was a long pause. Her gaze was squarely centered on the television. "Missy?" She propped herself up on an elbow and looked around.

"Oh, huh, I think-- yeah, I think it's gone now. Phew!" The monstress let out a long sigh. "I almost didn't think we'd make it. Weird how I didn't even notice. But it's fine now." She put on a smile. Not a wholly genuine one either.

"Yeah?" Leo said, eyes narrowing.

"I think you can go get lunch now."

"I certainly hope so." Leo stood up, feeling slightly dizzy upon doing so. He walked over to the doorway and stopped. "Missy?"

"Mhmm?"

"Don't ever lie like that again."

"...OK, sorry," she said. Leo shook his head and walked out. Once he was out of sight he instantly started stretching, working out all the knots in his body that built up over his forced lounging. His joints loudly popped. It was a wonder he didn't snap any bones. Nobody to blame except himself. He was the one who decided to be nice and help some irrational fear. Leo walked right up to the window and gave the scenery a good, long stare. Not a drop of fog in sight. In fact, it was brighter than ever out there. Whatever. No more fog monster. No more soothing tense nerves.

After confirming that his one opportunity for an enjoyable day off had been thrown out, Leo stepped into the kitchen and began making a simple lunch. Somehow Missy had drained all of his energy, despite him not doing much of anything at all. He stopped for a moment and closed his eyes. Why'd you even bother? Yeah, she'd be annoying about it later, but she'd get over it. And then she had to go and draw it out at that. She may have been scared at first, but afterwards? Not a chance. Leo piled out all the ingredients for his meal. It had probably been a long time she just laid like that with anybody. Heck, it had been a long time since he did either. That wasn't an excuse for what she did. What, was she supposed to ask instead? Hey friend, just need some human contact.

Leo finished their sandwiches and went right back to the bedroom. It didn't occur to him that he chose to eat in the bedroom until he handed Missy her plate. Wouldn't hurt this once, he supposed. Leo turned toward the television and ate quietly. "You're not too mad, are you?" Missy asked, between bites.

"No."

She chewed some more. "...But you're mad, right?"

"I don't know. You mind if I eat?" Leo replied. Missy nodded and they eased back into silence. The thought still bothered him, rubbing up against his thoughts. She wasn't scared, so what was all that for? Loneliness? Sure, it could've been. Knowing Missy, it also could've been to fuck with him, but she gave up way too easy for that. He sighed. "What was all of that about?"

"What?"

"You know what I mean, Missy."

"I was scared, that's all."

"After that."

Missy took a few more bites. "I don't know." She shrugged. That could've very well been the case, but it didn't sit right with him. "I just wanted to do it, OK? Don't you do stupid things sometimes?"

"I try not to. At least not to other people."

Missy crossed her legs. "Sorry." Leo left it at that. He didn't want to ruminate on the implications or if she had any actual reasoning for her actions. She did seem at least genuine, and it wasn't that much of a big deal. It was a weird deal. Just swerve into something else.

"Alright." He turned his attention back to his sandwich. "So what kind of clothes did you want?" he asked. Not entirely unrelated. The feeling of her fur still lingered in his thoughts, making the situation all the more uncomfortable.

Missy's eyes widened. Yeah, that did the trick. "Oh, uh, I was browsing a few days ago and I saw this super cute tee with buttons." Worked too well, even. "Then I was thinking it'd go with some jorts. Ripped."

"Why ripped?"

"Saves me the trouble," she said, holding up a hand. "Plus they're cool."

"You don't want pants?"

"I've tried pants. They don't work well with digi-tigi-ridi-grade."

"What?"

"My bendy legs." Oh, right. He looked to her legs. Did she try-- "Not your pants. Just, you know, way back when." Oh, good.

"So that's it, just a shirt and shorts?" Leo asked, raising his brows.

"You mean I can have more?"

"That's not what I meant." The man set down his plate. "If you work for it, maybe."

"I will, I will," she said with a nod. Missy downed the last of her sandwich, forcing it down her gullet with a gag. Ugh. "So can we order them now or what?" That trick worked far, far too well.

"OK, one, make sure you chew when you eat." Missy gave a small nod. "And two..." Leo motioned to the doorway. "Go wash your hands first."

"Do you want me to put up my plate?" Missy asked politely.

"No, I'm on my way to the kitchen. Just go wash up." The second he finished his sentence, Missy jumped off the bed and scrambled to the bathroom. He could hear her nails scratch against the wood floor. Leo winced and made a mental note to check on that later. "Ease up on the running," he said as he picked up their plates. The bed wasn't smothered in crumbs, thank heaven. Leo walked out to the kitchen and quickly washed up, neatly placing the dishes away. He turned back around to find Missy standing there. His nerves jumped but he managed to remain stoic.

"I stopped running, was I uh, quiet enough?" she asked, fluttering her eyes.

"Maybe a little too quiet."

"Got your phone too. We can browse right now!" She held out his electronic brick.

Leo took the phone. "We can do that in the bedroom." Sheesh, he was turning into her now. Well, more that it would be incredibly odd to sit huddled on the couch looking at clothes. Any weirder than doing it on a bed? He wasn't getting dressed just to look at clothes, anyways. Leo walked back with Missy close in tow. All he could hear was her excited breathing, which made the experience more sinister. He sat down on the bed and Missy took her spot next to him.

"Is it OK if it has like, a graphic on it?"

"That seriously depends on the graphic. It's not something stupid, is it?"

"What if it is? You're the only one who's gonna see it."

"Not something obscene, then."

"More obscene than nudity?" Missy looked down at herself. He really didn't need that little reminder that she's constantly nude.

Leo turned on his phone. "You know what I mean." He navigated to the Internet and punched in a search for whatever clothing store came to mind.

"Not gonna go to Amazon?" Missy asked, pushing up against him to see more of the screen. "They have so much stuff on there."

"Look, using Amazon rubs me up the wrong way, OK?" Much like you, he thought, pulling away from her. "These stores ship too."

"Fine, OK, but what if they aren't shipping what I want?" Missy tilted her head. "Would you uh, go to the store for me?"

Leo shook his head. "No. Not unless I had to get something else there."

Missy seemed disappointed with that answer. "That makes sense, I guess."

"Here." Leo hushed all the voices yelling in his head and handed her the phone. "Pick out five tops and five bottoms. Let me repeat that--"

"Five tops, five bottoms. I know. I will," she said, already swiping through the list faster than Leo could make sense of it. "You think I should get them in small?"

"I guess." Leo sized up Missy. "Maybe a medium so you don't shred the arms."

"Whaddya mean? I'm not fat."

Leo rolled his head. "Not because you're fat." Far from it. "Because of your claws. I know you're going to wake up in the morning, slip on a shirt, not look at what you're doing, and shred it to bits."

Missy looked up at him. "OK, fine." She paused. "But you want me to get medium shorts too? Claws down there too, ya know." The way she phrased it put a terrible image in his mind.

"We'll get you a belt."

"You think I can work a belt? That's super nice of you but no, I can't."

"Fine, I'll put the belt on--" No, that wasn't happening. "We'll get you some adjustable shorts with string."

"I like the belt idea."

"Missy."

"You offered," she said with a snicker. "Ooh, ooh, look." Missy tapped on the screen, bringing up an incredibly garish shirt that he wouldn't have ever pictured. "Isn't this just the coolest thing ever?" The dumbest grin was splayed across her face. A mixture of cheery excitement and giddy laughter.

Leo rubbed his forehead. "Is that ALF saying 'cat-a-bunga'? On a skateboard? With a slice of pizza? And strangling a cat?" He rubbed his head more vigorously.

"You don't remember Overboard but you remember ALF? Some priorities you have."

"How could I forget that stupid thing? All those 80's revival morons love him." He shook his head. "Pick something else. Please."

"Aww, c'mon, pretty please? Just this one! I promise I won't pick the other stupid things."

"You had other stupid things lined up?"

"Well yeah, I want my first clothes to be special." She tapped her chin. "That sounds a little weird now that I say it. You know what I mean, anyways." Leo could already picture her in the stupid thing, sitting on the couch, eating pizza, and watching that awful show while laughing at all the miserable jokes. That was probably the epitome of being Missy. At least the ugly thing fit her.

"You don't eat cats, do you?" Leo asked. He wasn't sure how serious that question was.

"Eugh, c'mon, you really think I'd eat a cat?"

"Wouldn't exactly put it past you."

"Do you know how long it takes to get the fur outta your teeth?"

"Alright, alright, you get the shirt. Just don't wear it while I'm home, OK?"

"Topless it is." Leo sighed. "Hey, you think I could get a bra too?" The question knocked Leo completely off balance. "It's weird but I never wore one. Think it might be neat."

"Didn't you already say your fur was like that?" 

"Fur doesn't provide support." One of her hands pushed up a breast, then turned to him. "Do you know the size stuff?"

Leo turned his head. "Missy, I'm not a woman if you hadn't noticed."

"Yeah but you had girlfriends, right? I thought that was a couple thing. You know, go to the store, try on the lingerie. That sorta thing."

"No, that's not a normal thing."

"You mean that's not a normal thing for you."

"I think I'm a pretty normal person." Roommates with a monster from the woods aside. One showing off her breasts at the moment. "If it's not normal for me, it's probably not normal."

"So it's normal for guys to have a fish hook collection?" Missy asked with a tilt of the head.

"You get the idea."

"Soooooo what did you do with your girlfriends then?"

"Is that really important for picking out clothes?" Leo asked.

"I mean, yeah, sorta. You musta done some clothes shopping with them."

"Sometimes, but it's not like it was a constant thing. I never committed cup sizes to memory, alright?"

Missy returned to her browsing, but didn't turn away. "Was it fun though?"

"Doesn't the guy always hate clothes shopping in movies?"

"Well, duh, yeah, but you said real life was different."

"Sometimes they're accurate," Leo said with a shrug.

"Oh, this is that thing where guys don't care what they look like, right?"

"No, I think that's something you do."

Missy chuckled and patted his shoulder. Mind the nails. "I'm gonna wear that stupid ALF shirt all day." God help him. "So was it really boring?"

"I guess. What fun is it looking at clothes? You can do that online. It's not like they'd try them on or anything."

"So you would prefer seeing the real deal."

"I guess?"

"Were they uh, fun girls at least?" Missy looked up at him.

"If they were I'd probably still be with them." That made him realize something. How the hell was he supposed to get married with Missy around? Oh yeah, sure, come move into my lovely home. Two bedroom, one bath, large kitchen. Don't mind the Wolficus. Hope you're not allergic. Leo briefly imagined her in a collar, sitting by the front door. No, that wasn't happening. Where the hell was she going to go? At least there was no girlfriend to worry about. Yet.

"You OK? Did a bug bite you?"

Leo pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm fine. You pick out any other clothes?"

"So you didn't date any fun girls? Why'd you even go out with them?"

Leo tossed up a hand. "I went out with them because I thought they'd be good partners. Now you pick out any more clothes?"

"Were they pretty too, then?"

"Missy, c'mon."

"OK, OK!" She nodded and scrolled through the phone. "Can't blame me for asking. Other guys I talked to had awful ladies. So I was told. By them. I'm curious, ya know?"

"I'd rather not talk about it, OK?"

Missy snapped back to him. "Why? Were they terrible? What'd they do wrong?" she asked.

Leo waved his arms. "No, none of that. Look, let's drop it, OK?" He turned to her. "Now, have you picked any good shirts?"

Missy opened her mouth, then shut it. "Let me look some more." Leo was already picturing what stupid shirts she might pick out next. Some cartoon character doing drugs? Horrible, gruesome violence? Maybe an outdated catchphrase that only the most obtuse of people would even begin to understand. "How's about this?" Missy held the phone up. Instead of a cartoon character beheading another, it was a short dress all patterned in flannel. Somehow it was disgusting but fitting for Missy and the area.

"You really want to wear that?" Leo asked.

"What's wrong with it?"

"I dunno. Is there something stupid on the back?"

"Let me check." She frowned. "Oh, yeah, there is."

"What is it?"

"A zipper." Missy looked back up at Leo. "You think you could do that up for me?" Leo wanted to object, but he couldn't quite find the right words for it. It wasn't a dumb shirt, at least. Would probably look modest on her.

"You can't do that yourself? Just pull it up? Could probably hook your nail into the hook."

"Uh, there is no hook. Plus it'd be hard to undo anyways."

Leo shook his head. "I'd rather not do that part."

"What? Why?" Missy asked.

He wasn't saying it. "Put it on the maybe list."

"Uhhhh, OK."

"If you get it, you have to get underwear with it?"

"Why?"

"Just do it."

"So do I get to pick five pairs of panties too?" Missy asked.

"Don't say it like that."

"Say it like what?"

"Look, just order a package of the stuff."

"Woah, they sell panties in packages too? I always thought that was a guy thing." Missy sped through the phone. "What color do you think I should get? Probably not black, right?"

"I don't know, just pick something you think fits." Leo shrugged and looked to the wall. Too late, he was already picturing her in a colorful array of underwear. Imagine her in black. Or would that make her look nude? She was already nude anyways. Good Lord, you just can't win. 

"You're gonna be the one seeing them, don't you want a word in it or what?"

"They'll be under your clothes, so it's not as though that really matters, right?"

Missy looked back at Leo. He really didn't need her gaze at a time like this. "So what, do I have to wear clothes in bed at night? That's gonna be super awkward. And hot too." Awkward. Yeah, it would be more than awkward. She was constantly nude, but now that he saw her as something more than a pest... His eyes briefly flicked to her. The taboo of lingerie or pure nudity. No. Neither. There would have to be more distance between them. "You OK there? Sheesh, must be a lotta bugs in here."

"Yeah, no, I mean, I'm fine." Leo nodded. "You're right."

Missy pulled back. "I am?"

"We'll talk about it later. Look, I'm going to check on something else. Don't order anything yet." Leo placed his hands on his knees and started to get up.

"Hey, c'mon, wait." A hand settled on his shoulder. "I want your opinion."

"Missy, I know I'm going to be the one seeing them, but it really doesn't matter what you're wearing as long as you wear it."

"That's a little mean," Missy said, hand slipping away from him.

Leo narrowed his eyes. "Really not sure how I could be nicer."

"Alright, yeah, I guess that was a little dumb to say. But like, this is the first time I'm ever gonna get something for myself, Leo." Almost felt wrong to be called that by Missy. "And you're gonna buy it, so like, I should look good for you. Right? That makes sense. Right?"

It made some sense. Demented, lonely, Missy sense. Leo put on his best calming smile. "Missy, it's your own clothing. Like you said, you earned it. You don't need validation, do you?"

"Sometimes it'd be nice to get some," she replied, deflating. Just had to pull that one on him, huh?

Leo turned his whole body toward her again. "Look, Missy, it's not like I'm a judge of fashion anyways."

"So? Just tell me if it looks good, OK? You hated the ALF shirt so you definitely got opinions. We never do anything together anyways."

"I spent several hours with you in this damned bed."

"...Yeah but I was scared." Missy shrugged. "And you're a nice guy."

"Really? What gave you that impression?" Leo crossed his arms. "Look, OK, fine, just go through the list and I'll tell you if I like them or not."

"Cool! Cool." Missy moved back up next to him, showing off the phone. She went through random shirts, dresses, shorts, pants, and even skirts. She never stayed on one for long, though. As soon as she saw something else she snapped right to it and spent several minutes looking over it. "Whaddya think about this one?" She showed off a surprisingly plain blue sweater.

"That looks pretty cozy." He paused and straightened himself out. "You're not going to rip it up?"

"No, I mean, well, like I guess I could fold my hands up like this." She did one of those generic Italian hand gestures and waved it about.

"You sure that's enough? I'm not buying it again if it isn't."

"Worked on your shirts."

"Yeah. Thank God for that." Leo shook his head. "How much does it cost?"

"Thirty bucks," Missy quickly replied.

"Thirty bucks."

"Well, yeah. Is that a lot? I mean, too much?"

Leo decided not to go on about how little she contributed and that everything she had done up to this point wouldn't have even worked up to buying this sweater in a thousand years. He cleared his throat. "How about you set this aside for later and we'll get it for your birthday?"

"Birthday?"

"Don't pull that mystery nonsense on me. I know you have a birthday."

"I'm just surprised you remember." Missy put on a goofy smile. "Do you remember what day it is too?"

"I only remember it's in July because school ended before that."

Missy giggled. "That's better than I expected! Should I tell you now or make it a biiiiiiig surprise?"

"I honestly don't want to know what you have in mind as a surprise on your birthday. Just get back to the clothes. Something cheaper, please." It was times like this he hated himself. Maybe if he learned to keep his mouth shut all the time, he wouldn't be stuck in situations like this. "What about those?" Leo pointed to the screen. Missy brought up the product.

"Jorts? You want me to wear jorts? Really, Lion?" Missy said with a chuckle.

"What? I don't know, I thought they'd fit you. No pant legs to get caught in. Jean fabric seemed like your thing."

"And you said you weren't a judge of fashion. Sure, those'll go right on the list." Somehow it felt like he had made a huge mistake. "Four shirts and pants to go! Plus some bras."

"You can do the bras on your own."

"Fine."  
_

Leo looked at the weird amalgam of choices Missy made. One stupid ALF shirt, some wildly colored shorts, a couple of thankfully plain shirts, and one bright orange shirt that read 'momster'. Of course. Also a few unmentionables for her that she could sort out. There was also one more odd shirt with a man on the front making a stupid face. Missy refused to tell Leo its origins aside from saying some stupid word. "So? Is it cheap enough?" she suddenly asked.

"Sixty seven bucks isn't bad." He looked up at her. "You're not a mom though, so why this?"

"That makes it doubly funny!" Missy replied, as if it were an obvious answer.

"Whatever. You know you have to keep doing your chores, right?"

"Yes, I know."

"Just making sure." Leo mentally prepared for the wallet stab and his finger hovered over the order option. "And you're OK with all of this?"

"Aaaaaabsolutely!" Missy said with a nod.

"Alright." Leo tapped the button and let the order process. "Looks like they should come on Saturday." Thank goodness. He would absolutely expect Missy to burst out of the front door and scare the living daylights out of whatever poor soul was forced to deliver here. "Hope you enjoy."

"Great! Now what?"

"What do you mean?"

"Uh, thought were gonna do something else?"

"You"--he handed the phone back to her--"can get back to work on making a new computer. I've got something to look at. I'll check back on you."

"Aye aye, captain."

Leo stood up and moved over to the doorway before turning back. "And don't order anything else. I'll know."

"I wouldn't." Missy shook her head. "Thanks for the clothes!"

"You're welcome." How many people would unironically say that for clothes? At least she was happy. Leo moved into the hallway and then into his exercise room. He looked about the area. Would you really want to do that? Staying in bed with Missy certainly brought its wealth of issues, but going the full mile? Giving her a room to herself? That was pretty much the last step to permanence. How would you get her to leave then? There was still the trouble of where she would go. Out of all their little friend group, he was the last on the list. Why was he last anyways? He walked over to the exercise bicycle and sat down on it. He did move out of state, after all. Probably the hardest to even get to considering her position.

Maybe it could be a temporary room. This was a guest bedroom after all, or that's what the listing said from what he remembered. He was out in the woods, who would live here and have guests? How do you make a room temporary anyways? There was the inflatable bed he planned to use for camping. Probably a bad idea with the knives she had on her, but it was the most 'temporary' thing he could think of. Anything to get her out of the room at night. Leo already began categorizing everything in the room and thinking of where to store them or even sell. A part of him was annoyed that he even had to shake up his life like this for Missy, and another part was happy to think about a new project. Anything to get his mind jogging after the hours of nothing. He began idly cycling on the exercise machine. The storage room was a better pick, but this was a good enough place to think about it for now, being similar in size. 

The doorhandle was probably the biggest problem. Missy didn't seem to care about privacy, but if she could shut herself into a room, all the better. Are you really going to go out of your way to install a lever handle? Why not? He didn't usually go into the storage room, wouldn't make a difference when she was gone after all. Leo stopped cycling and peered out into the hall to see if Missy was still in the bedroom. The TV was on, so she was in there for sure. The bed would probably go near the far wall, just so she was out of view if he had to walk out of his room at night. Then what else? He glanced around the room. Maybe a laundry basket for some of her clothes? That he would have to fold up and refill. Maybe he could teach her how to do laundry too.

So that's it then, you're clearing out a whole room for an inflatable bed and a basket, then going to rip out a couple of door handles and replace them. Leo pursed his lips, then nodded after a few moments of thinking. Yeah that was probably worth it for a good night's sleep, among other things. Hell, she'd probably go hogwild for it too. Could maybe get her to move some of the stuff too. No, wait, that would be a terrible idea. Just you. Not that she could even lift half of the things in the room. Leo soon realized this would probably be the first time she ever had a room to herself, aside from a living room. Unless Ms. Swanson gave her one, which was likely. 

You already gave her clothes. What's to stop her from doing more work and asking for junk to put in her room? She'd probably get better at it too. It's not as though you can tell her she has to leave eventually. He braced his arms against the handle bars and rested his head on them. It's only going to get harder to make her find another place to live. Leo began cycling. Was that even fair? What choice did she have in the matter? It would've been better that she never came into his life. Leo stopped cycling for a moment, then continued. But if she truly had nowhere else to go after him, how could he force her out? She was a bastard, sure. An improving bastard. Not all of it was her own fault. Even if she was lying about him being her last shot, there was no doubt he was probably the best life she'd get.

Leo sat upright. Better not think about it. Just focus on getting her into a room and see how fate does you dirty afterward. Missy walked in not long after with a wide grin. Ah, speak of the devil. Should've closed the door. "Yes?" Leo asked.

"Go on, ask how great I am."

"Just tell me what it is, Missy."

The monstress walked over to the exercise bike, then crouched low and held up the phone. "Check it. I found nearly all the parts we need on sale." Indeed, she showed off a cart filled with computer parts. They were still relatively pricey, with some only going up to six percent off, but it was good to see her making the effort. "So am I great or what?"

Or what? "Hey, good work. Almost surprised."

"Yeah, I do great work, don't I?"

He turned toward her. "You pick out a computer case?"

"Thought we could tape the whole thing to the wall. Would look cool huh?" Missy smiled. "OK, no, as cool as that would be, I thought you should choose that." She handed the phone over to him.

"Oh, well, thanks."

"But I did put some good ones on the list!"

Leo scrolled through the cart. "Yeah, I can see that." Some absurdly designed cases that looked like decepticons and other evil machines. "I think I'll pick something more businesslike."

"What? Aren't those cool though? They look like decepticons, right? Don't they?"

"Uh, if you say so." Leo shrugged. "Don't want to pick something so malicious for work. I might get the wrong idea."

Missy shot up into a standing position. "It'd be the perfect thing to start you work on world domination."

"I couldn't even imagine how tedious it would be to run a whole world. Managing internet domains is more than enough."

"You don't want to rule the world? I guess it must be a woman thing."

"Yeah, I imagine it is." Leo stood up. "You sure this is all completely correct? This is your research after all."

"All correct, sir. Television has been pretty boring as of late, so I had plenty of time to go over it."

"Naturally." Leo examined the price. Over three hundred smackers. Wouldn't make a dent in his savings, but the thought stung all the same. He spent some time researching it himself so he wouldn't live and die on Missy's word alone. Everything seemed to be in place from what he knew. Hopefully. "So you ready to build it too?"

Missy held up her hands. "Yeah, I'll get right to work on those delicate parts real quick, boss."

"I guess you got me there. You can tell me where the parts go though, right?"

"Oh yeah." Missy nodded. "I've seen so many fat guys assemble computers, I could do it in my sleep. If I had the hands for it." She shrugged.

"Let's hope so." With all his might, he ordered the parts. Spending money twice in one day. This was becoming a terrible habit.

"Thanks!"

"You know this computer isn't for you, right?"

"Yeah, but you let me put it together. Never thought I'd do that." Missy tilted her head. "I was lucky enough to break one! Uh, sorry about that."

"It's fine, you made up for it." He looked back down at the phone and the large order confirmed text. Sort of made up for it. There probably wasn't a chance she'd ever make up for the cash he spent on her. Leo pocketed his phone and looked back up at her. "So what do you want for lunch?"

"Pizza."

"Subs it is."


	21. Chapter 21

"So?" Vernon broke the silence. "How was that vacation of yours? Get a lot of rest?" He bit into a greasy slice of pizza.

"I spent a lot of time in bed, not much rest." Leo looked down at his own slice. He really shouldn't have offered to buy lunch.

Vernon's eyes widened. "You sealed the deal, then? It's official?"

It took a second for Leo to realize the terrible mistake he made. "Oh no. No, no, no." He chuckled. "No. Nothing like that." God no. "She was... sick." How else would you say it? Oh yeah, she was afraid of some sort of fog creature.

Vernon relaxed and took another bite. "Here I was thinking that day off did you some real good," he said through a laugh. "Good thing you got off though. Perfect time to get some points in while she was ill." He gave an OK with his hand. Leo really wish he didn't put it like that. "Anything else happen? Feed her some soup? Eh?"

"If cereal counts, sure." Leo took a bite of greasy pizza, making sure the mess dribbled down onto a flimsy foam plate. "She got over the illness pretty quick."

Vernon tilted his head. "In less than a day? Hot damn. Impressive gal you got there."

You don't even know the half of it. "Nothing serious. She got through it alright. Probably a little more than alright."

"Can you blame her? Imagine if it was the other way around. You get a cute gal to watch over you while you're sick? Phew! Forget about it. I'd live with a permanent case of flu, buddy." Leo's thoughts snagged onto the idea of Missy taking care of him instead. She'd probably give it her best shot. Not the most accurate shot. A missed shot maybe. Oh boy would she try though. He could already imagine her trying to cook up something, giving up, and handing him a bottle of mayonnaise. Then, missing the whole point of an illness, she'd snuggle up next to him in bed with the idea of cheering him up. Unfortunately cheering up meant suffocation and horrible heat. His eyes would flick over to the hallway and... Oh no. A shimmer of orange and a beep of the smoke detector sounds off. Whoopsie! Forgot that stove! A bang would sound out not long after. Soup's ready!

"I'd better wait a while on getting sick," Leo replied.

"Honeymoon ain't over yet, huh?"

The younger man thought on that for a moment. "I'd say the honeymoon has run its course." It might have gone better than expected, actually. A bit more effort could be used on her part. Not the worst honeymoon he could've had with Missy. Also not something he'd ever expect to think. 

"So she's good then? What's stopping you from tying the knot then?"

Leo paused. "The usual suspects." 

Vernon waved his hand and took another sloppy bite. "C'mon, we've been over those. Those are the kinda things you learn to love in a woman."

"I know I sound like some kind of idiot saying this, but a relationship is a two way street. What does she provide for all of me?" All of me? What are you even saying?

"Well, I know I sound like an idiot saying this," Vernon started, placing a hand on his chest, "but sometimes just being there for someone is enough. You not tossing her out on the asphalt is proof enough." Leo's brow twitched. He supposed in some way that was true, but at the same time there was the whole 'cannot throw out for fear of death' thing. Though Leo quickly realized there was more to their relationship as of late. Missy had come a long way, and now, she really was the only one in his life. The one he spent the most time with. The one he was closest with. He looked up at the fluorescent lights, the hum ringing through his head. That was just normal now.

Leo shrugged and defaulted to his usual Missy excuse. "I can't send her anywhere else."

"I've heard that one before." Vernon took a few more bites. Leo nodded, as if it would lend more weight to the excuse. "You've still got a girl that'd stick her neck out just to spend time with you."

"Stick her neck out?"

"You've been over all the problems you had with her. She's on her last 'strings' right?" Vernon said.

"Something like that. I prefer a camel analogy though."

"Straw, camel, whatever. I know you're the guy who'd flip over smaller things." Vernon paused. "Within reason, of course." Of course.

"So? What's your point?"

"What I'm saying is, she got over it quick, coulda been she was doing the whole thing just to spend time with you."

Leo tilted his head. At least some of that was true. It was almost scary how quick Vernon was able to pick up on something like that. "Probably. What of it?"

"Points within points, huh? Let her down easy if you don't want to go on her rollercoaster, alright? She doesn't sound crazy, so you treat her nice." Maybe not. She sure as hell straddled the line of crazy and eccentric.

"I'm more than nice. I'm good in that department, even." Go on her rollercoaster? Leo smiled. That sounded like love alright. The smile fell flat. The thought of her trying to cozy up next to him for love was slightly worrying. A relationship like that wouldn't work out for one, but if he did deny her, how bizarre would that make their already tenuous situation? He'd have to hurry up on getting her that room.

"You know, we do a lotta talking about this girl." Finally, time for a different topic. "What's she look like though?" Leo slightly deflated. "Now, I ain't gonna ask for pictures, you treasure those. Just curious is all."

Leo figured he should at least toss Vern a bone just so he doesn't go wild with curiosity. "Curly hair. Black." Hm. That about covered it. "Green eyes."

"You one of those 'I don't see skin color' guys too?" Loaded question didn't cover it. This was an atom bomb. "No judgment of course!" Yeah, thanks. She was technically pitch black, but calling her black didn't seem quite right for a human translation. Especially not with her upbringing.

Leo scratched the side of his head and looked to his plate. "Yeah, I'm a no skin color guy." Something like that.

"Tall?"

"About as tall as me, I guess." If she stood upright.

"Really? I was more of a shorter gal guy."

"You talk like we're already together."

"I mean, you could be. Eventually." Vernon shrugged. "I like the whole huggable aspect, you know? She like that?"

"I see. I suppose she's huggable as is." Describing her as huggable made her seem like some sort of stuffed toy. Probably not too far from the truth.

"Black curly hair, green eyes, huggable. Keeper right there." Vernon laughed.

"For sure."  
_

Leo pulled into his driveway and turned the engine off. He tapped his finger on the steering wheel. The little chat he had earlier made going home seem like an impossible task. He was used to her stupid games, sure, but knowing now--or perhaps turning off his blinders--made the whole experience all that more bizarre. How was he supposed to react to it? Ignore it? Kill it where it stood? There wasn't an option three. Just those two. Being there was enough, yeah, right. Leo picked up his leather case and stepped out of the car. A howl of wind rattled through the trees.

As he approached his house, Leo noticed a scratch along the side that chipped away the paint. Stupid branches. He'd have to tend to that later. Leo opened the front door and stepped inside, promptly locking it behind him. No Missy on the couch? No television blasting through the house? Leo snapped to his right to Missy swaying her hips in the kitchen. She was faced away but it was clear she was only clad in an apron, aside from the earbuds stuck firmly in her head. Leo set down his items on the couch and quickly went back to gawk at Missy's work, which was an awkwardly assembled sub sandwich.

A few condiments and slathered knives were strewn about on the kitchen counter. Of course, a whole head of romaine and a package of meat were out too, wilting away in the open air. Leo walked up to Missy and tapped her on the shoulder. She croaked and hopped in surprise. Fortunately she wasn't holding anything at the time, or that might've gone flying too. Missy turned to Leo with a frown, pulling out the earbuds. "You're gonna give me and my four hearts an attack!" she said, working the croak out of her voice.

"I thought it was three?" Leo replied. Before she could say anything silly, Leo pointed out the mess in front of her. "What's with the cooking? You washed your hands, right?"

"Well duh, 'course I did. I'm always hearing you in my head going 'you're gonna die of AIDS if you don't wash your hands!'" Missy held up the plate. "And this, my dear lion, is for you." Leo furrowed his brow and took the plate. It was smattered with mustard and mayonnaise, but the sandwhich on top was technically in one piece. "Stop making that face, it's a good meal, honest. I'm paying you back!"

"You really needed the clothes."

"Not those!" Missy shook her hips from side to side. "And no, I don't need 'em."

"So, then what?"

"Keeping me company. Y'know... for the fog." She nodded.

"Oh." There was something missing. "Thank you." Right, that.

"I know that was super hard. You were all stiff like I was a ball of sticky mud." She noticed, huh? Honesty was best, he suppposed. "But thanks! Go on, siddown, I wanna see you eat it."

"Why?" Leo asked.

"I spent like forty minutes putting it together. Do you know how hard it is to put mayo on bread with hands like these?"

"I'm surprised you didn't just use your fingers." Leo looked down. "You used a knife though, right?"

"It wouldn't be lion approved if I didn't."

Food was the last thing on Leo's mind, especially with the pizza still roiling around in his gut. He had to admit he was curious what Missy's cooking tasted like. Past a bowl of cereal, that is. Leo set down the plate and sat down. The monstrous chef instantly took the chair opposite him and propped her head up on her hands. "So?" Missy said, nodding. Leo decided to plunge in and took a bite of the meal. "Good, huh?"

"It's not bad." In fact, were it not for the haphazard placement of meat and cheese, it was strikingly close to something he made. Except better. Leo was slightly flabberghasted, but also glad the taste took his mind off some of the more unsavory thoughts about unholy relationships swirling about in his head.

"That's like an A plus, plus, plus, plus coming from you. Especially for my first try!" She tilted her head. "OK, second, but that first one was pretty tasty too. Too much mayo though."

"Where'd you get the recipe?"

"I just stole it from you. I hope it's not secret."

"No, it really isn't. Good work." He glanced over at the sink and noticed the MP3 player placed precariously on the counter edge. "Where'd you get that?"

"I went through your junk. I mean, you didn't want it, right?"

"Right." He took another bite. "What's on there anyways?"

"A lotta dad rock stuff. Good, but still dad rock."

"It's not dad rock if I'm not a dad."

"Yeah, but you will be, right?"

Leo almost snapped back with a 'no', but held his tongue. "There's a lot of planning to do before something like that."

"That explains the condoms," Missy mumbled. She sat upright. "I mean... That I saw... In your drawer... When you were pulling out clothes, you know?" This was getting far off track.

Leo shook his head. "Anyways. Why not make yourself lunch? You've done pretty well so far."

"It takes too long. I didn't check a clock but it was like an hour!"

"An hour doing something productive, right?"

"I'm already cleaning stuff, you take care of the cooking. I like your food."

"No McDonald's though, huh?" Leo replied.

"That greasy drug? I would never." Missy turned her head haughtily. "Buuuuut if you're offering, I wouldn't mind a hit or two."

"You willing to work for it?"

"I knew being an adult would suck. Work, work, work. A girl as pretty as me shouldn't have to work for a cheeseburger," she said with a sigh.

"At least you won't have to work for the sandwiches, right? These won't kill you either."

Missy smiled. "I guess it's not bad having a personal chef. If only he'd listen to me. Anyways, sandwich turning out good?"

"Didn't change the last time you asked, unless you slipped in something while I wasn't looking."

"Do I look like some sort of secret spy to you?"

Leo set his sandwich down. "You probably could sneak around pretty well, but undercover? I don't think so."

"Anyways, how was work?" Missy suddenly asked. Was there really nothing else going on she could ask about? He didn't need to think about all the details he traded with Vernon right now.

"Work is work." Leo picked his sandwich right back up to stuff his mouth.

"Yeah, work is work, I hear ya." Missy ran a claw across the table. "Us working folk have it tough, nine to five. Nothing cool though, huh?" Leo shook his head, still munching on his meal. "Figures."

Leo swallowed and immediately focused on steering the conversation away. Something to get her excited. "You know how I've been cleaning the storage room?"

"Yeah? You're not gonna ask me to move boxes, are ya?"

"I will." Leo nodded. "Since that's gonna be your room." Missy went wide eyed and sat upright. "I figure since, you know, you're pulling your weight, you deserve your own space while you stay." He made sure to stress that last part. "So all you have to do is take the last few boxes, and stack them in the corner of the exercise room." He pointed behind him. "Got it?"

Missy leaned forward. Leo kept his eyes trained on hers, but couldn't help but notice her chest out of the corner of his vision. Where was her ridiculous robe? All the more reason to get her started and out today. "I dunno, that sounds like a lotta work."

"No, really, it's only a few boxes. You just pick them up and put them elsewhere. That's it." He took another bite. "Not heavy. I'll help move a few too."

"No, I can do that stuff, but uh, but I mean, like, you'd have to buy a bed and... other stuff for a room." Leo noticed her breathing becoming heavier. Maybe this was too exciting for her. It was probably a big deal.

"Shouldn't have sprung that on you. Look, just think about it for a bit and we'll talk about furniture later, OK?"

Missy leaned back into her chair. "Cool, cool." She stared at the ceiling for a bit. "It'd have to be a pretty big bed. At least as big as yours. Foam. Has to be foam or I won't sleep on it."

"Can't go back to spring at all?"

"I've been on spring beds and couches. Rather sleep on the cold floor than touch one ever again. I'll rip off the tag if you get me one, then you'll be in trouble."

"Floor it is," Leo said. A nice throw out rug and she'd be set.

"Also I want my own TV or I won't sleep in there," Missy continued. It sounded like a joke, but her face was entirely serious.

"We can get you one of those handheld TVs." If those still existed.

"A big one. On the wall."

Leo shook his head. "You'll be vacuuming the rest of your life if you want to take on that debt."

Missy looked back up to the ceiling. Her expression remained static and dull. "So, hey."

"Yeah?"

"You wanna watch another movie tonight?"  
_

Another night, another flick he could have probably gone on living without. It wasn't terrible, but Rodney Dangerfield certainly lost his charm in movies. As a college guy no less. "Is that what college is really like?" Missy said as they lay there in the darkness. It was the first thing she said since the movie started, and only then did Leo notice.

"That's a little vague, but I guess it got the general idea, yeah."

"You had a roommate then?"

"Not a chance," Leo replied. "I commuted to school. I'm not sharing a shower with an--" Ne glanced at Missy. "Well, I didn't want to compete for a shower in the morning."

"So then I'm like, your first roommate then, huh?" Missy said, gaining a twinge of giddiness to her voice. "How'd I do?" Leo let her correct herself. "OK, no, how've I been doing recently?"

"Probably better than what I'd get out of a college roommate."

"That sounds like a compliment to me. Another one for the collection."

"Uh, good work?" Leo turned away from Missy, settling into his standard sleeping position. "Good night."

"Hey, wait, I got another question."

Leo should've denied her then and there, but he wasn't feeling that urge to sleep anyways. "Alright, if you have to."

"I know you've had girlfriends, but like, you haven't slept in the same bed with them a whole lot, right?"

Leo paused, trying to parse exactly what Missy was getting at. "I don't know where to begin with a question like that."

"What I'm saying is, I'm the only one who's slept in the same bed as you for this long, right?"

He didn't need to be reminded of that. "Thanks to a stupid bet, yes." Leo pulled the sheets up to his neck. "Good night, Missy."

"I was just thinking like, that must be sorta new for you. You let me do all this new stuff but not like I can do the same for you."

"What's your point?" Just get it out of the way now.

"Is it cool?"

"Cool?"

"You know, cool to have someone next to you?"

Leo bundled under the sheets more. While it was a new experience and the... tension had mostly worn off, it wasn't something he'd say was a highlight of his day, or night. "It's alright. Fun while it lasted, I guess."

"While it lasted?" Missy asked. Leo could feel her inching up on him, scooting up with every word.

"You'll be getting your own room and all since you earned it."

Missy stopped moving, then said, "You sure that was enough chores for a room?"

"You saying they weren't?" Leo asked, a chuckle working its way into his voice. "That doesn't sound like something you'd say."

"How many did it take for some shirts, huh?" Missy began inching forward again, soon he could feel her hot breath nip at his neck. "Doesn't sound like something you'd say either."

Leo looked back at her. "I'm sure you'll be more productive if you have your own place to take care of."

"Aren't I doing that now?" Missy replied. Leo was pretty sure she stopped moving, but her large eyes only seemed to grow wider, almost pulling him in. Almost gave him a headache to look at, so he turned back forward again. Was she breathing heavy again? "This is where I hang out too. Like right now."

"It's not yours though. Don't you want your own?"

"It's mine." Missy's voice lowered. "I'm right here after all." Leo furrowed his brow.

"Look, do you want the room or not?"

"Why should I get a new one? This one is fine isn't it?"

"So is that a no?"

"Why do you want to kick me out so badly?" Missy's voice had a bite to it now, which just annoyed Leo.

"I'm not kicking you out." He shooed her off, trying to get her to back up. "It just makes sense if you're going to stay here longer."

"Yeah well, we already agreed that I get to sleep in this bed, so I'm not moving anywhere else."

"Fine, you can have the bed. I was going to buy one either way." 

Leo's shadowy roommate grumbled. He had half a mind to grumble back in mocking but realized how stupid that would be. At first he was surprised Missy didn't want to have her own room to muck about in, then he realized this was part of that 'sticking the neck out' part Vernon had been telling him, or rather warning about, earlier. It's not like it was terrible that she did want to spend time with him. He just needed his space for obvious, manly reasons. Missy's nose pressed up against his neck, causing his back to arch in surprise. "Can't we just stay like this?" Missy asked.

"Ease off. I don't need you rubbing snot into my neck."

"This is serious, Leo. I need someone to be there for me."

Leo rolled his eyes and scooted forward. "I'll be literally two rooms away, Missy. I'm not going to vanish."

Missy followed right after him. "That's not the same." While she didn't press back up against him again, he could almost feel her hover agonizingly close to his skin. She must've been in one of her moods.

"My phone is right there if you need it, you know. Don't bug me about this." Missy didn't say a word in response, neither did she budge from her position. She only inhaled. And exhaled. Goosebumps pricked along his neck and traveled down his back. This was almost as bad as the damn fog. Leo covered up his neck with his sheet and closed his eyes. If she wanted to deal with her business, that was entirely up to her. "We'll talk about it tomorrow when your head's on straight."

As much as Leo wanted tomorrow to come, it didn't. He wasn't entirely sure how long he has been laying there with his eyes closed, waiting for tomorrow to suddenly pop into existtence, but it was a while. His phone sat untouched on the night stand, so clearly Missy hadn't snuck off either. He carefully glanced back. Missy had flipped away from him, now seemingly at peace. What was that feeling prodding at his brain now? That little shift of emotions to make him feel off, of course. Some sort of mix of pity and guilt. Missy had no reason to deny her own room other than to keep her spot by his side. For any other girl that would be some sort of Godsend. Missy however? No matter how much he noticed her physique, that would still be weird. Hell, the damn moonlight was already doing a good job of that.

Leo flipped back over. This was all sorts of messed up. Leo can't like Missy. Missy can't like anyone else. Anyone else would scream. Sort of like denying someone their one shot at romance. Unless they found another one of a kind Wolficus, trademark. One that just so happened to be civilized and just so happened to be in contact with humans. Maybe he'd have a nice girl Leo could hook up with and Missy could slob off with her true sweetheart. What a dream. They could talk about all the issues they had to deal with over dinner. Issues. Hm. Leo had always sort of figured Missy worked like a human, despite the obvious differences. He never gave much thought to whatever medical problems could arise in her.

On some level, Missy was probably fine. Whatever terrible diet she had before him hadn't taken its toll. Yet. But if it did, or God forbid something else happened, what was he going to do about it? He knew basic first aid thanks to a few afternoons, though it wasn't like he could just drive her to the hospital. Not without some serious persuasion, and even then only on Halloween. If he were to somehow get her to a trained physician, would it be better to take her to a vet or to a doctor? She had one heart, sure, he knew that much. The rest of her could've been a bizarre amalgamation of alien anatomy.

There was another needle poking at Leo's thoughts. Fear. There would be virtually nothing he could do. He couldn't help with a deep cut, or a serious illness, or a fracture. What would he do then? Leo froze and stared at the wall. OK, don't panic. That's not happening. He took a deep breath and calmed himself. It's fine.

This is what happens when you break schedules.


	22. Chapter 22

Leo didn't awake with the usual snap to attention. Instead he awoke slowly, getting his body to work in unison with one another until it was one chorus. He rubbed his eyes and pawed at the phone on his night stand. Seven twenty three, that was pretty good time. He took a moment to stretch and twist his neck a bit to work out a crick. There was a noticeable lack of furry vise wrapped around his body. Leo inhaled and looked back. Missy was still turned away, just as his foggy mind remembered it last night. Some other thoughts from last night came tumbling back into his consciousness as well. With the dim early morning light it was a little hard to make out the natural rise and fall of her breathing. She was breathing, right?

Not wanting to let panic get the better of him, Leo sat up and leaned over to get a better look at Missy. Even still, it was hard to tell. Not wanting to prod at her, he went with the next best thing. "Missy?" he croaked. "Missy?" She twitched and a few moments later began her own motion of stretches.

"Don't talk so loud," she said, inhaling deeply. She brought a large hand up to her head. "God, my head's killing me. We didn't have any booze, did we?"

"There's none in the house," Leo replied. Missy flinched at his response. None that she should know about, anyways.

"Yeah, OK." Missy wobbled onto her back and pulled the sheets up over her chest. "You go have fun at work or whatever the hell it is you're gonna do. I'm out of it." She mumbled something afterward but all Leo could make out of her slurring was 'I should've'. He eased off the bed and got ready for the day. As quietly as possible, of course. Occasionally glancing back to make sure she wasn't beginning to vomit on his bed. Leo made a mental note to check on his supplies later after work.

With a quick shower and the rest of his daily routine taken care of, Leo did the last of his adjusting in the bathroom mirror, lest the silent rubbing of fabrics somehow agitate Missy. He stared at his reflection for a moment before opening the cabinet behind it and pulling out a bottle of headache medication. It was... probably safe for her to use them. Best only set out one for her. Leo placed a tablet on a bit of tissue and promptly closed the bottle back up, silently thanking the inventor of the safety cap. He decided to give Missy the benefit of the doubt and not leave explicit instructions. Hopefully that wouldn't come back to bite him. Or that she wouldn't come back to bite him.  
_

The work day progressed slowly. Leo's usual work trance had slipped, letting his thoughts wander aimlessly, mulling over the past few nights. The one person he could air his grievances vaguely at unfortunately had a meeting for the day, leaving Leo in a box of bouncing emotions. He glanced back, almost hoping Vernon would be there to at least say a thing or two to get his thoughts to shut back up. It didn't help that nearly all of his assigned filing and emailing for the day was over with, leaving him with tedium that had no substance.

Leo couldn't shake off the scare he had in the morning, as odd as it was. Still, he couldn't imagine having to deal with her own personal health problems. Doubly so with being female and-- Leo furrowed his brow. She didn't actually do the whole period thing. He sighed. Look at him, lunch time and he was thinking about menstruation. Not wanting to lose his appetite, he flicked off his monitor and scooted over to the opposite empty desk in his cubicle. Fortunately he bought a quick prefab lunch of massively produced croissant and factory farm eggs.

Out of sheer boredom, Leo pulled out his phone with one hand while the other stuffed his face with food. With no real thought behind it, he typed 'Wolficus' into the search bar. Much to his exact expectations, the results were only gibberish and some people who probably deserved to be smacked upside the head. That was just a dumb made up word, but somehow he felt that was probably the most accurate scientific name given to them. In a dusty old room sat around an all-too-big book. Maybe there was some sort of... what was the term? Cryptid? Cryptid that described her. Assuming that the people who wrote about these things weren't all lunatics hellbent on seeking attention.

Sasquatches were definitely a no. At the same time, Leo figured Bigfoot himself would probably be a far more polite roommate. He scrolled through more of the mythical creatures. Hopkinsville Goblin? Certainly, Missy in some way could be called a goblin, but no, too small. Dover Demon had the proportions, although Missy didn't have a globular head and wasn't a stark white. Unless there were albino Wolficuses. Wolficii. Hm. Leo nodded. Wolficuses. Or they were suited for the snow. Either way, he didn't quite trust the word of two fifteen year olds from Massachusetts. He would've thought there would be more sightings than that. Leo paused. Unless they're really good at hiding with roommates. Dover Demon was a maybe.

It was almost astounding how many random monsters there were for every part of the world. Leo tried to keep his search to the United States, since as far as he was concerned, Missy was a red blooded American, but still, there were many things that came close to being very Missy-esque. No doubt people's minds played tricks on them at went for the most terrifying form they could think of. Wide eyes, gangly limbs, sharp teeth. A sometimes cute smile. Leo stuffed his face with more food.

No matter what Leo looked through, he couldn't find the definitive Missy. Leo wasn't entirely sure what he was hoping for. Maybe closure on his sanity or a reminder that she's from some otherworldly place. Maybe he was hoping some insane biologist actually managed to get a wrangle on what Missy was. That'd give Leo at least the vaguest idea what to do if anything went wrong. He started shaking his leg. Hopefully Missy's morning headache was a passing thing. He forced his attention back to his phone. It could be that no one ever survived to see a Missy. Perhaps they were all annoyed to death. Wait, that's right, she had those other friends of hers that kicked her out. Supposedly old friends of his too, back from their hometown.

Leo shook his head. He highly doubted they knew any more than he did about Missy, and judging on her descriptions or if they existed at all, he also doubted they put thought in her health at all. Some vague curiosity scratched at his mind, wondering where they were now, but he hardly remembered them if at all. Leo leaned back in his chair. Plus they would probably be intensely jealous about his successes. Internet domain management beat out gas station worker, right? Didn't really matter regardless, he wouldn't want to see them in the off chance some thoughts more confusing than Missy being real came back somehow.

Finding no more vaguely useful information, Leo set his phone down and finished off his lunch. Still a Wolficus. Still a human. Still hungry too. He should've gotten something else.  
_

Turn key. Open door. And there was Missy, back on the couch, enjoying her free lazy time. She snapped to him and waved. "How's it goin', Lion?" she said. Leo quietly closed the door behind him. "Oh, thanks for the headache stuff."

"You're fine now then?" Leo asked.

"Yeah, good thing you had a different brand. I already got used to the Advil junk. Doesn't work for me any more." Of course. Missy was already so used to downing pills that she built a tolerance to the stuff. Nothing to worry about at all.

Leo relaxed himself and asked, "Took out the trash?"

"Yeah!"

"Swept the floor?"

"Did that too!"

"Didn't make a mess anywhere?" He began walking to the bedroom.

"Nope, no siree."

"Good work."

"As you'd expect from me."

Leo glanced over at the storage room. Hopefully now she'd get into gear and beg to get her own room. He supposed he would have to give her his bed, though. That was part of his stupid deal after all, and something told him she wouldn't break that part no matter what, but that would be OK. If he pulled the inflatable bed out of storage, he could have her out in an hour. Leo moved into his room and changed out of his work clothes before walking right back out into the living room. "You ready to set up your new room?" Leo asked, adding a dash of energy in the hopes of getting her excited.

Missy craned her neck to look back at him. "Uh, sure! But what bed are you gonna sleep on?

"I've got the inflatable, so we can start moving the mattress out." Leo paused. Actually he should probably check if that old thing still turned on let alone inflated. "Hold on one second." Fortunately it was one of the few things he kept handy under his bed, in the off chance something ruined his current mattress. He walked back into his bedroom and pulled the box out, but not without some firm tugging first. It'd probably been years since it had last seen the light of day.

"You keep relics down there? Maybe a chest of gold too?" Missy asked.

Leo set the box down and began opening it up. "It's not that old. I used it for just a few trips so it should be fine." Though with it rotting away down there, he was really only guessing. Leo spread it out on top of his mattress.

"You going for that extra cushioning?"

"Something like that." Considering it had been in that box all this time, who knew what muck stuck to it. Wasn't too smart to just toss it on. He was getting too excited, he supposed. Leo plugged the thing in and let it roar to life.

"That's louder than the vacuum! You gonna use this every night?" Missy yelled over the fan.

"I won't need to every night!" But it sure as hell was loud.

The thing inflated, and inflated, and inflated, and-- A small section of the bedding peeled away. Leo swallowed and placed his hand over it, only to be greeted with a rush of air and an end to any hope of this working. For today, anyway. He flicked the thing off, much to his ears' relief. The small whine of deflating air replaced the deafening whirr, deflating Leo along with it. Tentatively he pushed against the mattress. It was losing air, fast. "Well, that sucks," Missy said flatly. "Or I guess it blows? Anyways, it didn't hold, huh?"

"No." Leo sighed. "No it didn't." He didn't have a clue where the sealing kit was either, or if he ever owned one. His thoughts briefly entertained the idea of use any number of random adhesives around the house, but he knew they wouldn't hold, and didn't want to wake up in the middle of the night lying on wooden slats.

"So!" Missy said, stepping over to Leo's side. "Movie tonight? I've been in an early two thousands mood."

Leo rubbed his eyes, then walked over to tear the plug out of the wall. "Sure, OK, whatever." She'd get her room some other time. "What do you have in mind?"

Missy pulled a sheet out from under the deflating bed and draped it over her arm. She brought the covered arm up to her face and peered over it. Her other hand clawed at the air. "Something spooky!" Missy replied with a growl.

"Alright, sure." Leo pulled the cap on the bed, letting it deflate faster. "What did you have in mind?"

"You weren't scared?"

"Did you take a shower today?"

"Well yeah," Missy replied, lowering her arm.

"Then no." Leo sat on the deflating bed.

Missy sat down next to him. "Nothing in mind, just whatever's on the stream things." Leo looked to Missy. His mind picked right up where it left off at the office, though instead of mythological creatures, his thoughts started matching animal parts. At the very least he knew she was mammalian, for many reasons. Leo kept his eyes steady. Her face didn't lend itself to anything specific other than something predator with her forward facing eyes. Dog? Cat? One of those. "I got something on my face?" Missy started pawing at herself, wiping down her face. Her sharp teeth similarly had no real biological tie other than meat eater. Missy turned her head. "Uh, why are you staring?"

Maybe Missy was actually some terrible mix of cougar and wolf. No, that wasn't right. Calling Missy a cougar felt incredibly wrong anyways. Plus where'd the tail go? "Leo?" she whispered, leaning forward. "You OK?" He blinked.

"No, yeah, I'm good." Leo shook his head.

Missy leaned back. "Oh, OK, good." She looked around the room and patted her legs. "You think we can watch that movie now?"

Leo looked down. "Let's wait for this to deflate more." Missy began bouncing up and down on the bed, forcing more air out. "Don't do that."


	23. Chapter 23

This was becoming a habit. It wasn't even nighttime yet and he was already letting Missy drag him into another movie. Oh well, he already failed on getting her out of the room, and that was all he really had plans for. The inflatable was packed up and stored away, meaning he was pretty much done for the day. He watched the monstress scroll through movie after movie, passing over each one with a 'nah' or a 'nope'. "It's all the same thing, you know," Leo said. "Pick anything."

Missy turned to him but kept scrolling. "There is an art to horror. Don't you think I of all people would know that? Just let Ms. Missy find the best movie." Leo wasn't sure if he should be annoyed by the lack of a last name or the stupidity of Miss Missy. Swanson wouldn't be a bad last name for her. She turned back to the television. "Plus, they really aren't all the same. Check this one out." She pointed at the screen. "In this one they make a monster and then the main guy fucks it. Didn't see that coming, did'ja? Don't think you wanna see that one, huh? Huh?"

"No, not really. Though that doesn't sound like horror, more like glorified pornography." Leo crossed his arms.

"People are scared by sex."

"No they aren't." The lack thereof, maybe.

"OK, buddy, just say that to the biggest franchise about space rape! Getting done dirty by a monster down there"--she tapped the remote on her head--"now everyone is scared of that."

"You mean they're afraid of being violated."

"Same thing when it comes to a monster." She paused. "In movies and stuff. I'm a very nice monster." Missy whipped her head back to look at him. "Or am I?" She opened her mouth and bared her teeth, but instead of intimidating it came across as ridiculous.

"You had better be. Rude monsters don't get to sleep on beds."

Missy's mouth snapped shut. "Yes, Sir. No evil monsters here. Only fuzzywuzzy."

"Don't call yourself that either," Leo replied. Not like she was really fuzzy either, her fur was surprisingly thin and sleek. Maybe she was some kind of weird seal. Imagining Missy in the water was a far more amusing thought than he could've pictured. He briefly considered asking her if she's gone for a swim and then quickly decided against it.

"Here, how about killer clowns from outer space?"

"Being afraid of clowns is a really stupid joke at this point."

"Ooh, big guy over here isn't afraid of clowns. Fine, OK." She hummed. "What are you afraid of?"

"What kind of question is that?" Leo asked.

"Well we're gonna watch horror, right? We should watch something you think is scary."

"Alright, I guess that makes some sense." Leo paused and thought about it. "Dying before thirty?"

"Oh come on, everyone's afraid of dying too. Something more like, real."

"Dying before thirty is very real." He was willing to bet those supposed old childhood friends were probably knocking on the door.

"More solid, less philosophical. Oh, I know!"

Leo perked up. "What?"

"Remember when you came back from the aquarium?"

"And I gave you that stuffed toy," Leo hastily replied. "So what?"

"I remember you telling me there were fish on ocean floor, so we looked it up in a book."

Leo furrowed his brow. "And?"

"And the second-- and I mean absolute second-- you saw one of those anglerfish, you shut the book and put it back."

"So what? Those things are basically aliens." Eyes too big. Teeth too long. In the pitch black darkness. Leo looked at the creature in front of him. Oh, yeah, she was all of those things. Alright, he might've had a slight thing about deep sea creatures. "I don't think you'll find any movies about deep sea anglerfish."

Missy got one of her stupid grins. "Well you better believe I'm gonna try!"

"What are you afraid of, then?"

"Monsters aren't afraid of anything."

"Good monsters too?"

"Guess you got me there." Missy turned back to the television and started scrolling again. "I don't know, really," she replied simply. Leo briefly wondered what it was a monster could be afraid of that she wouldn't say, but quickly corrected himself. She was probably too embarrassed to say.

"Cockroaches?" Leo asked.

"Ugh, those are gross but they're not scary."

"House centipedes?"

"Why are your only guesses bugs?"

"I thought all girls were afraid of bugs." Leo shrugged.

Missy briefly turned back and smiled. "Not bugs."

"Spiders then?"

"Same thing! Those are bugs!"

"Alright, well just pick a movie already."

"Ah, ah, you can't rush me on this or we're gonna watch Thankskilling, OK?" Missy said. Leo almost wanted to ask her what that meant. Something told him that was not a threat to be taken lightly. So he waited, and waited, and waited. Missy scrolled past every single movie on the list. He wasn't sure if she was prolonging her search or if she really did have some sense of quality to the trash she watched. Could also be that she was still looking for deep sea horror. There was an odd amusing factor to her trying her best to scare him. It might've even been cute were it not for the fact that it was taking up his valued time. Though again, not as if he had anything better to do at the moment. Not unless his boss called in. His eyes flicked to his phone. Nope, not happening.

After much scrolling, Missy finally selected a movie and fell back to Leo's side. He was fiddling with his phone at the moment so he didn't catch whatever ill-conceived choice she made. "So? What'd you pick?" he asked, not bothering to look up.

"You have to find out with your precious eyes, Lion," Missy replied. Leo sighed and set his phone down. Much to his surprise the title card was already showing, along with a scenic vieew of an underwater space. "Dun, dun, dun, Jaws!" She turned to him and snapped her mouth shut, quite loudly at that. Almost sounded like she could crush bones with those.

"Don't do that in my face. You're going to get spit on me." Leo was surprised she picked something so utterly inoffensive. Jaws was scary in its own way, but it was far more tame than the gorefests made nowadays. Gorefests that Leo wholeheartedly expected Missy to indulge in as part of her monstrous fantasies. Not nearly as cheesy either. "You sure you picked the right one?"

"Jaws is a classic!"

"Sure is." He refrained from adding a 'but' in the off chance that she switched to a far worse movie.

"Plus, I know your weakness of the sea now!"

"Not the sea, the deep sea."

"Look it's really not that different. Both have scary fish that you wouldn't be able to swim away from."

"It's not just the fish. The darkness, the pressure, the extreme cold, the lack of anything at all." He was getting unnerved just explaining it.

Missy waved her hand and frowned. "OK, OK, I don't wanna hear it. Just enjoy the scary fish. Sheesh." And enjoy he did. While Leo only had a hazy memory of watching it once on cable, the movie did indeed still hold up as a classic. Not exactly a scary one, rather one that was simply an entertaining movie. Missy likewise appeared to enjoy it. Perhaps a little too much, as she would mumble every other line with almost frightening accuracy. She was even putting on similar voices to them. If she had the production team behind her, Leo had no doubt she could shoot the entire movie again from memory. He was thankful she didn't know Japanese, otherwise it might've happened with the men in rubber suit movies too, as cute as that would've been. Judging on her insistence of singing along to the main theme, she could've done its soundtrack too.

One particular outburst came when Missy shouted, without missing a beat, "You're gonna need a bigger boat!" Which startled him far more than any appearance of an animatronic shark ever could. "Do you have any cigarettes around?"

"What? Why?" Leo asked.

"'Cause it'd go well with Brody's lines."

"No, I don't," Leo replied, flabberghasted. It was a wonder Missy was still alive.

"I wouldn't smoke 'em or anything. It's impossible to get that smell off of your fur."

"Just go back to the movie."

"Fiiiiiine." She turned her attention back to the movie, just in time for another line. "That's a twenty footer," she mumbled.  
_

Like all good things, the movie eventually had to come to a close. Maybe only slightly dampened by Missy clapping as the credits rolled. "Good movie or what?" Missy said.

"Good movie," Leo replied, nodding. "You didn't have to say every line though, did you?"

"It wasn't every line."

"It was at least every other line."

"Maybe, but it's good! A creature like me can't help it."

"A creature like you?"

"You know, a girl." She fluttered her eyelashes, or eyelids. It occurred to him she didn't seem to have eyelashes, or they were quite small.

"Right, the rare creature known as a girl. I forgot."

"I mean, according to your life, they seem like an extinct species." She tilted her head. "Is that the right word, species?"

"If all girls were like you, it's probably for the best that they're extinct." He sat up.

"Where're you going?"

"It's almost dinner time. I want to eat. Put them together and you'll figure it out."

"Well, hey, you don't have to cook."

"We're not ordering out, we're not getting drive-thru."

"We better when Halloween comes around and it's my birthday."

"Your birthday is in July, Missy."

"You still remember!" Leo stood up. "Wait, wait, wait, wait. I wanted to make dinner. Or try."

Leo snapped to her in surprise. "You feeling alright?"

"I'm trying to do something nice, don't be mean."

"Is there something you wa--" Missy took on a tired expression and rolled her eyes. Overdone joke. "Sorry. I guess if you really want to try." It sounded like a terrible idea. She did make an alright sandwich, but that didn't need anything fancy. "What did you have in mind?" Curiosity took the reins. He had to see what she was planning now.

"That's part of the surprise," Missy said, shtuting off the television. She crawled over to his side of the bed and stood up next to him. "Go have a seat, dear guest!" She presented the way with a hand, wiggling her fingers. Leo took her up on her offer and walked out into the living room, immediately going for the dining table and sitting down. He watched Missy totter over to the stove oven and pull the apron free from its handle. She put it on and fiddled with the strings for a bit before sighing. "You mind helping me with this?"

"Didn't you put it on last time?" Leo asked.

"Yeah, but that's why it took me an hour to make a sandwich." Figures. She waved the strings about. "The faster I get it on the faster you eeeeeeat," she cooed. He didn't like the way she phrased that. Leo stood up again and, easing up to her back, took hold of the strings. He silently regretted ever having bought an apron as he did up the strings in a bow, making certain to keep his fingers away from her. As soon as the thing was done up tightly, he sat right back down. "Perfect. Now I can cook without getting grease all over me." She looked at the array of cooking implements before her. There wasn't a chance she knew how to use any of it.

"Where'd you learn to cook?" Leo asked, already eyeing the cabinet with the fire extinguisher. "Also, wash your hands."

"I learned it from watching you." Missy nodded and washed her hands in the sink. "And I sorta splurged on cooking videos when doing that computer stuff." She flicked her hands to dry them off.

Leo set aside her slacking and lack of proper hygiene. "Good luck." He crossed his arms and watched her closely. For the first few minutes all she did was stare at the kitchen. Occasionally she would point at the fridge and the cabinets while mumbling to herself. At least she seemed to be taking it seriously. "You may begin at any time."

"You can't rush perfection." Her staring continued, then she tentatively reached into a cupboard and pulled out a pan, setting it carefully on the stove. "You gotta use the no-stick spray right? Wait, don't tell me, I know." She pulled that out too and sprayed the thing down. Probably too much though. With that task done, she moved to the fridge and pulled out some ground beef patties. Cheeseburgers? Seems she couldn't stay away from them forever. Chemical free at least.

Missy went about assembling the rest of her meal while the patties defrosted. Simple stuff, lettuce, cheese, tomato, onions. "You got potatos?" she asked suddenly. Leo pointed down at one of the cupboards. "Gotcha." She leaned down and opened it. "Ohhhh, there we go."

"We don't have the stuff to make fries. Not fries how you like, anyways."

"I'm still gonna try!" Missy pulled out two potatos and set them aside. Then, using her claws, she finely sliced them into fry-like pieces. Leo wasn't sure how that would taste, but he had to admit that she was indeed trying. "Salt it down and you've got fries."

"Uh, sure, something like that." 

Leo continued to gawk at her for quite some time. Slicing all the vegetables needed. Cooking the meat as required, perhaps a little too long. Cheese on top, mind the placement. Buns warmed. Leo shook his head. Hamburger buns. Potato-sticks cooked. Once all of that was done, she assembled the cheeseburgers slightly sloppily and presented them on two plates. "Ta-da!" Missy said. She placed them on the table. "Whaddya think? Not bad for my first try, huh?"

"Is it actually your first?"

"OK, fine, third."

"No wonder I've been running out of stuff, but yes, not bad." He pulled a plate closer. It did smell good at least. "You ate the last attempts, right?"

"Sure did, and they weren't even that bad!" Missy sat down and stared at him. "Go on, have a bite." She was still breathing, so it was probably safe to consume. Leo picked the thing up and took a tentative bite. He nodded and took another bite. "Eh? Eh? It's good right?"

Leo swallowed. "Should've probably used cheddar instead of provolone--"

"Cheeses are all the same."

Leo rolled his eyes. "But yes, it's not bad."

"Ah, ah, you mean good."

"If it makes you feel better, sure."

"Say it."

"It's good."

Missy let out a small squeal of delight and pulled her own plate over. "I knew you'd love it. Everyone loves a cheeseburger. You'd have to be some sort of demon not to." She picked up her own sloppy mess of a burger and took half of it in one bite. "Tomatosh shuck but"--she swallowed--"they're good in a burger. I think there's some psychological thing behind it."

"Could be that the ingredients go together? You know, like every other food?" He tested one of the ghetto fries. Salty potatos. Supposed he could live with that.

"Nah, it's the burger."

"You gonna cook more then?"

"You mean you like it enough for me to cook more?" Missy asked, eyes widening.

"If you want to. I did say it was good, didn't I?"

"Yeah, but after I told you to."

"Believe me, if it were bad I'd tell you."

"Good. Or bad. Don't break my heart." She shoveled a handful of fries into her maw.

"If this is your third attempt it's pretty good. You might make something edible next time."

"Ughhhh, you're killing me here," she replied with a chuckle. "Hey, maybe I can make you lunch for work?" Leo's face hardened. As casual as that was, it occurred to him how awkward that would be. Only two people do that for a man. Mothers and wives. At the same time, however, he also broke the rule of never having the fairer sex as a roommate. As fair as Missy was. Perhaps he was a little old-fashioned in his thinking. It would give her something else to do. "You're making that face."

"I was just thinking what you could actually make in a reasonable amount of time. Just so you're not up all night making lunch for me."

"Was that sandwich not"--she kissed her bundled fingers--"mwah! Perfection?"

"It was good, but I don't think that would travel very well," Leo said. He bit into another couple of salted potatos. Not the worst snack.

"We can double bag it in ziplocs or something."

"That's something, I guess." Missy took her burger, and with two more large bites, finished the whole thing.

"Don't you want to savor the food?" Leo asked.

"I'm savoring it in my gut right now. I've got tastebuds there too, you know."

"No you don't."

"OK, I don't, but I sure have more on my tongue!"

Leo interjected. "Don't stick out your tongue."

"I wasn't gonna, gosh. Anyways, how can you take the time to savor something so good, right? Don'cha just wanna eat it right now?"

"I'll take my time, thanks." Just in the off chance he needed to rush off to the bathroom. Despite that possibility, he continued to eat in silence. With Missy sitting directly in front of him, he found it to be a somewhat difficult task to settle his eyes anywhere, going from ceiling to table back to plate.

"This is a little boring."

"You can go off and watch TV if you want, just leave behind the apron."

"You'd like me to take off the apron, huh? Pfft, sorry. Nah I wanna watch you enjoy my work of love."

"That makes it sound kind of gross when you put it like that."

"Hey dude, you said it, not me." She held up her hands.

"Oh whatever." Leo rolled his eyes.

Missy tapped her claw on the table. "So uh, what kinda bed are you gonna get? You know, for your room."

"Something that delivers quickly."

"Not gonna pick something out real good?" Her tapping sped up.

"It'll be good. I just figure you'll want to get to your room real quick." He took another bite. "Probably should cook the onions next time."

"Yeah, real quick. Say, you get me a TV for that room yet?"

"If it really means that much to you, we can... I dunno, mount my TV on your wall."

"No way. That's gonna ruin movie nights."

"We can always have those in the living room." He nodded to the screen. "It has to get some use, right?"

"I use it when I'm waiting for you to get back." She pulled her hand off the table.

"I'm sure you do."

They fell back into silence. It felt like every topic under the sun had been exhausted. That is unless Missy had some sort of stupid to question to ask. Of course she did. It was only a matter of time before she had something to ask. "Hey." Right on cue. "I got a question for ya."

"I know it's something silly because you felt the need to announce it, but go ahead."

Missy was completely undettered. "You think I'd look good as a human?"

Leo shook his head. "Should probably ask that when you're wearing clothes. Otherwise it gives a very wrong impression."

Missy looked down at herself. "Oh. Yeah, my bad, but still."

"I don't know, Missy. How am I supposed to translate your features to humans?" She had cute curly hair. That was probably as much as he could give her. "I guess your hair is nice. Your head hair. How does that work anyways?"

"You tell me," she replied, tapping on his arm.

"Fair point."

"OK, OK, next question."

"This going to be a game now?"

"You think I could pull off a ponytail? The whole thing?"

"Your hair's a bit short for that, don't you think?" That made him wonder if her head hair grew any. He'd have to get good with scissors if she didn't cut it herself. Not the kind of stuff he wanted to be thinking about during dinner. Wasn't much else to think about, though.

"I could get extensions."

"Then maybe," Leo replied. A no on hair growing out, then? 

"Never tell a girl maybe."

"Maybe I'll think about it."

"Hope you're not like that with other girls," she said with a small smile.

"No, just you."

"I guess that makes me pretty special, huh?" In far more ways than one, yes. That brough attention back to her human question. Leo briefly wondered how things would be different if she were human. Better not dwell on it. Everything would be different, and maybe she wouldn't have come as far as she had were circumstances different. His expression dropped and he finished off the rest of his meal, potato things and all. "You ready for seconds?"

"Not really, no."

"Good, because I'm not cooking anymore today!" Missy stood up and pulled the apron off, tossing it onto the kitchen counter and stretching.

"Put that up properly, please."

"Oh c'mon."

"Or you could clean these plates."

"Got it, putting up the apron." She did just that, while Leo collected the plates and set them in the sink. "I'll be in the bedroom if you need me."

"Yeah, I'll call if I need you to spit on the plates."

"Never know, I could have great cleaning powers."

Leo couldn't help but smile at the thought. That would be an awfully convenient ability of hers. Not that he was going to test the possibility any time soon. He went to work scrubbing those plates.  
_

It must've been nearly eleven, but Leo couldn't sleep. A terrible running theme as of late for him. The weekend was sneaking up on him and it didn't feel as though he did a single thing of value in the meantime. All because you were doting on the needs of a twenty something year old monster who can't live on her own. Not comfortably. On top of that he couldn't shake the thoughts wondering what she was. Maybe it was curiosity. Maybe it was a desire to know what his roommate was. Maybe it was fear. Leo knew what Missy was on the surface. Some sort of nerd stuck in a body of a fragile monster. Could be that she was something far worse underneath. That probably wasn't the case. 

"Hey, Leo," Missy said. Definitely wasn't the case. "You're awake, right?"

"Yes." He was turned away but he rolled his eyes all the same.

"Yeah I could tell. Your breathing is too normal."

"So what is it?"

"Nothing."

"C'mon, Missy." Leo turned onto his back. "You wouldn't ask if you didn't want something."

"Can't get anything past you." There was a long pause. "OK, I gotta ask something."

"Don't you always."

"But this is a serious one."

"Alright."

"And... and you gotta forget about it after you give your answer. Promise me that."

"Sounds hard to do, but I guess I can give it a shot." Curiosity was turning.

"Promise."

"You know it's kind of impossible to do that, right?"

"Then just don't let it change what you think."

"Alright, fine, I guess I can promise that." He shrugged. 

Missy grumbled a bit, but continued, "Can I just stay in this room?"

"Look, if you're in one of your moods just go--"

"I'm not! I'm not, OK?" Out of the corner of his eye, Leo could see her crossing her arms. "I was just thinking maybe if it's better I stay in here."

"Why?" Missy didn't respond. She shifted about, but made no sound. "Missy?"

"Never mind," she finally said. "Just make sure you get me a good TV."

And that was that.


	24. Chapter 24

Something violently shook at Leo. His sleepy mind kicked his body into gear and he sat up in preparation for an earthquake before realizing he wasn't in the right place for one of those. He turned back to find Missy kneeling on the bed with a wide smile. "You're awake!" Leo sighed. "The packages came! C'mon!"

"And how do you know?" Leo asked.

"They knocked on the door and said"--she put on a deeper voice--"UPS!" Leo must've heard her wrong or something. He shook his head and rubbed his ears.

"Alright, alright." He waved her off. "Give me a second." Leo briefly regretted having ever bought those, then stood up and dressed himself. Missy was already by the door, peeking through the blinds. Not enough to scare anyone on the other side, but still quite enough to scare Leo. "Get away from there before anyone sees you," he said, walking over to her side. She stepped aside, allowing him to peer through. No poor souls out there for Missy to terrorize, so he quickly opened the door and pulled the packages in.

"Open it up already!" Missy said, clapping her hands excitedly.

"Let me get my knife." Leo paused. "Actually, here, just trim along the top." He handed one of the boxes over to Missy. She expertly sliced open the tape, set it down, and eagerly extended her arms for the next one. In moments all the packages were open, allowing Missy to riffle through them. The first shirt she pulled out was the ALF one, of course.

"Cata--"

"Don't."

"Can I put it on now?"

"Don't you want to clean it first? You don't know where that's been."

Missy looked at the shirt, then at Leo. "In a warehouse?"

"And in a factory, and a packaging area, and in a box. How many people do you think have touched it?"

"Hmm... I'll just put it on for an hour or two!" Naturally. "Just before my shower." She set the box down and quickly forced herself into the thing. Leo half expected it to be torn to ribbons by the time she got it over her head, but it was clear she had some expertise in not slicing up shirts. She presented herself. "So how do I look?"

"Cheesy." But it fit her. At the same time it was odd to see her without any pants, or rather, strange to see her wearing a shirt without pants.

"Cheesy is good!" She bent down and dug out something else. Her package of underwear. "Oh there's blue in there too. Should go great with one of the bras I picked."

"What about the shorts?" Leo quickly asked.

"Oh, yeah!" She let the pack of unmentionables drop to the ground, just like her interest. Another box held the array of shorts she picked out. Jorts were the first thing she pulled out, holding them in front of her bare hips.

"Going to try those too?"

"Nah, I'll put on some panties first."

"First." Leo held up his hands, causing her to stop in place. "Do you like them?"

"Uh, yeah. Thanks, Leo."

"Great." Leo smiled and walked off. "Make sure to clean up when you're done."

"Wait! Don't you wanna see them?"

"Privacy, Missy. Privacy." Being nude all the time made her far too casual. Something else to fix. In the meantime, Leo went for a quick shower, hoping she really would clean up and not leave a trail of underwear all over the place. Over the hiss of the water he could hear her squeal with delight. Were it not Missy, he would've thought someone was being murdered in the other room. It was good to hear her enjoy something born from her own labor. She was finally getting the memo about hard work, or she was having fun playing dress-up. Either was fine.

Leo redressed and stepped out of the bathroom to find Missy standing there in the hallway, tugging on the hem of her shirt. She snapped to attention once she saw him. "Yes?" Leo asked. She was wearing her 'momster' shirt now, which still didn't make any sense.

"Just wanted to say thanks again!" Missy wrapped him in a tight hug.

"Alright, OK. You're welcome." Before she parted, she pecked him on the cheek. "That was a bit much."

"My own clothes are a bit much too, huh?" she said cheerily. Missy continued to stand there, gawking at him.

"Well? Anything else?"

"Oh, uh, just wanted to check myself out in the mirror."

"Of course. Admire all you want." He stepped by her while wiping his cheek off on his shoulder. Missy posed in front of the mirror and tugged on her shirt in all sorts of ways. "If you rip it I'm not buying another." She pawed at the air and continued to play model. Making sure she didn't rip up the rest of her outfit, his eyes traced downward. Her underwear peeked out from her shorts. "And pull up your pants." Sheesh. Somehow clothes managed to make her look lazier. Missy hooked a finger into one of the belt hoops and pulled up. That barely helped.

"I shoulda got a jacket too. A cheap one."

"You'd heat up in something like that," Leo said as he put away his towel.

"There's like, fashion jackets, right?"

"You're asking the wrong person."

"The only person I can ask, silly."

"You want to google it?"

"Google is so boring," Missy replied. "What's the fun in asking a machine that's just gonna tell you in some boring way?" She stopped staring at the mirror and turned to Leo. "How do you feel about a fastfood cheeseburger?"

"Too many chemicals. Cheaply made. Like candy but with meat and bread."

"Google sure wouldn't tell me that."

"Good point."

Missy nodded and put her hands on her hips. "So what're we doing today?"

"I'm going to find myself a new bed to buy. You can do your chores, and whatever it is you usually do." Which was watch television. He walked into his room and got his phone. Hopefully they shipped beds just as easily as they did clothing. Just a few days and he'd have his bed all to himself again. A smaller one would be more fitting, but it would look terrible on the bedframe. Plus, if Missy ever wanted to have a movie night again for some terrible reason, there wouldn't be enough space. He shook his head. No, wait, they could just have those out in the living room.

Leo sat down and went over his phone. He brought up the internet browser and was instantly hit with pornography. Not surprising in the least bit. Missy probably did it more often at night than he realized. He furrowed his brow. He'd have to clean down that couch really well. Leo turned back to stare at the bed. God forbid she did it here. Anyways, it was some generic video that had probably been done several hundred thousand times before. Buffed out man on plastic woman. He closed it out quickly, lest Missy see him and cause a scene. Leo briefly wondered what was her preferred material, if she had any. A stupid thought to be sure, but it's not every day you got to think about the sexuality of a flesh and blood monster. Still stupid.

Despite its stupidity, curiosity got the better of Leo. Scrolling through the history didn't help much, as all the video titles had incredibly dumb and plain names. He could tell at the very least that they were all males and females going at it. Teenage years made sure he could easily navigate the absurd lingo used. Could've sworn she was more of a hedonist for bodies than just the standard, though. Maybe it was just a flavor of the month sort of thing. Amidst the obvious pornography he saw some entries that curiously had been marked with things like 'monster'. It was the 21st century and they were still using that silly descriptor for the nether regions, huh? He shouldn't have been doing this. Leo cleared the search history, trying to toss out the entire thought process as well. Why did the one monster he know have to be plagued by an absurd libido?

It was hard to focus on buying a bed after that. Leo wasn't interested in reviews at this point, just whatever was rated highest. As soon as he stabbed his wallet yet again, Missy rang out from the living room. Looks like his fate was already sealed for the day's next event. He peeked out into the hallway. Expectations pictured clothes splayed out on every surface, but they were neatly piled on the dining table along with the boxes. Relatively neatly. Can't expect Missy to know how to fold clothes too. He inched a bit further to find Missy hopping side to side in front of the television, singing along to a music video. Her singing was on point but she was moving nowhere near to the actual beat of the song.

Leo stepped out into the hallway to get a better view. That was that Wham song, right? As he stepped forward, Missy spun around on the spot and pointed at him. "Last Christmas I gave you my heart!" She clasped her hand shut. "But the very next day you gave it away!" She spun back around and continued with the song. She must've enjoyed the clothes quite a bit.

Leo let her finish the rest of the song before interjecting. "Could you keep it down, just a little bit?"

Missy was still swaying. "What? Afraid I might annoy the neighbors?"

"It's just a little loud for me is all."

"Don't you like my singing voice?"

"I do." He said that a little too plainly. "There's such a thing as too much of a good thing, though."

"Why don't you come on and sing with me? Hmmmm?" The television flipped to a scene of a beach with an all too cheery voice over. "Goddamn ads," Missy said as she spun back around. "Look, they got all sorts'a songs on here. Even the super duper old ones you like."

"You know I'm probably not much older than you."

"I know that. You're what we can an old spirit. You love all the old stuff." Leo was going to reply with a newer song that he liked, but couldn't think of any. It was hard to listen to new music. The radio was terrible. "Don't worry, we'll find some new stuff for you." Before he could say a word, Missy was already searching up a new song. Painfully slowly at that, as she had to maneuver everything with a remote. "Oh!" She suddenly navigated to something else. He was somewhat interested in what she thought of his music taste that she could come up with. Though once the screen popped over to some nonsensical scene with a woman on a stage, he realized it probably wasn't the best choice.

Missy began jumping up and down in tune with whatever was happening on the screen. It was a costumed woman dancing in unison with some other poor souls. There were flashing lights, even more bizarre costumes, and far too shrill noises. This was Japanese, wasn't it? Leo wanted to look away, but it was all too intensely aggressive and colorful. Like a train crash where every passenger was a clown. "Boku wa inbayda, inbayda! Da-da-da-da!" Despite being in a completely different language, Missy was perfectly in tune and didn't appear to mispronounce a thing. Leo would've sat down to take it all in, if he could even muster the mental energy to move his legs. The scene lessened for a moment, allowing him to catch his breath. "Mechara beamu. Mee-mee kara meesairu." Then a few moments it was back to full blast, assaulting nearly all of his senses.

It ended. Eventually. Somehow. Leo rubbed his eyes and asked, "Did you even understand any of that?"

Missy shrugged. "No. It's catchy though, right? I think it has something to do with aliens."

"I thought you were going to try and find music I liked."

"Ohhhhhhh, yeah. That's right." Missy nodded. "You don't like--"

"No. No, I don't particularly care for whatever that was. I guess I really am an old soul after all." If this was the new, he definitely preferred to stay with the old, maybe even go back a few decades for safety's sake. "Anyways, just keep it down." He still had to decide on his tasks for the day and it certainly wasn't going to be colored by that in the background. Leo turned around.

"Hey wait, I can find you something good, no problem," Missy said. She tugged on his shirt, prompting a sigh from him.

He turned back around. "Alright, why don't you do that while I make breakfast?" He quickly added, "And not whatever it was that you were playing before."

Missy raised her hands up. "Inbayda!"

"Yes, that. No more of that."

Missy lowered her arms and continued to sway side to side. It was amazing she wasn't incredibly dizzy. "So what's for breakfast?"

"Waffles sound good?" Why even ask? She'd probably eat anything.

"Sounds good to meeeeee," Missy said in sing-song. She hopped back to face the television. Leo briefly wondered if this was going to be a running theme, then headed for the kitchen. He passed the dining table, seeing all the clothing piled on top of it. He should have reined her in a bit more on the shirt designs. There wasn't a chance he could take her serious with her wearing some of them. Especially not the stupid face one. What was a po-- Missy started up the next song, hurrying Leo along.

It had been a while since he had made waffles, but the batter should still be good. Leo glanced over at the television, which now had album art of some yellow man being smeared across the side. How the heck does she find this stuff? Leo pulled out the waffle iron and poured in the batter, trying not to let the odd music get the better of him. It wasn't Japanese, at least, but there was a curious ambience that almost sounded like tortured machines. Stuttering voice samples entered the mix. At first, Leo assumed there was an echo to them, but he quickly picked up on Missy's expert parroting of them.

She walked toward him, moving with the long drawn out synths and copying those chattering voices. Leo furrowed his brow and turned his attention back to the waffle iron. He could still hear her creeping up on him. Then it stopped and she asked, "So are those gonne have blueberries in 'em?" The banal question eased Leo, much to his amusement.

"No, sorry, no blueberries. I've got some strawberries I can put on top if you'd like."

"Oh, nah, I already ate those yesterday when you were at work. Good thing too 'cause they were going mushy." She tapped her fingers on the counter. "So you like the song, eh?"

"This is music? I was certain someone was hitting a computer with a hammer."

"It's from the 80's, I thought that would be old enough." As she spoke, the music moved more into actual melodies rather than the aural mechanical hellscape it was portraying.

"This part is... alright I guess. Does it have to have those mumbling voices? I feel like I'm peering into an insane person's mind."

"That's what makes it cool! It's like a computer is making its own music." Just as she said that, the next song faded in. More whacky vocals and harsh tones. Missy was right back into the tune, stiffly moving her body around with the stilted beat. That's probably what she imagined a robot to move like. She stopped dead in her tracks, with her head shifted sideways and arms mid-karate chop. "Neat, huh?"

"Compared to the other stuff you were listening to, sure." He opened the iron and set aside the meal with a fork and plate. The next batch of batter went right in. Leo wasn't feeling in the mood for anything heavy for breakfast, so he figured a dollop of syrup and butter would be good enough. "Why don't you put on some 'dad rock'?"

"I'm not in the mood for dad rock. Plus I listened to all of your stuff anyways. I'm full on the stuff." Hearing her copy something from The Kinks might be too much for him. Best leave her to her things. She fiddled with the remote some more. Leo considered telling her not to use it in the kitchen, as petty an argument as that would be. Better not. The next song quickly came up. Missy put the remote up to her mouth. "Hey! Hey! You! You! I don't like your girlfriend!" Leo leaned on the counter and placed his head in his palm. She could have this. Just this once.  
_

Leo had settled into breakfast and realized how odd the situation had become, yet felt entirely natural. Sitting opposite to a night creature idly humming to herself. She was singing before Leo kindly asked her not to do that while eating. In the background Claire de Lune played after much convincing from Leo and a wrangle of the remote. He usually ate while thinking about other things, but admittedly he enjoyed having a little background music. "This isn't a fancy meal to go with the song," Missy said.

"Sorry, I don't have any ingredients for Fish a la King."

"Ooh, that sounds fancy."

"Waffles."

"Yeah, yeah." She picked up the fork and began cutting into it as best she could. "So what's new with you?"

"You know what's new with me."

"That's kinda sad." She took a bite. "I mean like, since I wanna hear new things in your work."

"Nothing new." It would be a terrible joke to ask the same of her. Somewhat sad, Leo supposed. His two friends were his boss and the potential manifestation of his imagination. Neither of those two were good options in life. He had something of an excuse. He was busy, couldn't do anything else. Work and his other hobbies demanded 100% attention, which was now being sapped away by his helpless roommate over there. He should probably be checking the lights in the house right now. Leo took a bite of waffle. "You like DeBussy?"

"Pfffthahaha, what? Is that the guy's name?"

"Yes, Claude DeBussy."

"Good thing he's dead because"--she paused to laugh--"he'd get laughed out of anywhere nowadays." Missy sighed with a grin. "I guess it's alright. Doesn't get me in the mood, though."

"What?"

"The mood to do things. Like a sugar hit or something. I wanna sleep." She tore into more waffle, butter dripping off the piece and onto the plate.

"I can't imagine that Japanese thing has a much better name."

"Well I can't read it." She shrugged. "But it gets me groovin'. I think it'd work for you if you could get the boring bug surgically removed."

"Sure, I'll get the procedure done once you raise the cash."

"Don't try me. I'll sweep up a whole storm and force you to listen to everything I like."

"Why would you even want to feel the need to do things? You watch TV most of the day."

"Hey, that doesn't mean I don't wanna do things."

"So what would you do in this hypothetical, then?"

"Jog through the woods? Climb trees again?"

"We can do that after breakfast if you want." Leo nodded. "Not with the music, though. I think anyone seeing you with that playing might give them some sort of brain stroke. I'd definitely die of embarrassment too."

Missy dropped her smile and tilted her head. "What would you do if someone saw me?" She took another bite. As obvious a question as it was, Leo was somewhat blindsided by it. He wasn't sure himself. In reality he'd probably try to get Missy to flee and act as if she were a wolf or something. That would be outdoors. Indoors, well, assuming the person was outside he'd fervently deny it or mention a dog. Or maybe a really large cat. Yeah, I keep a puma. Nothing to see here officer. Inside? Probably begging. He'd beg for Missy? The old him would probably call that a new low.

"Guess I'd probably try and distract whoever saw you. What are they gonna say to the police? They saw a guy conversing with a shadowy creature? Straight to the psych ward."

She put on a slight smile. "Maybe they'd fall in love with me instead."

"Then I'd probably still do the same." He realized how awkward that sounded. "Since anyone who would do that definitely has a screw loose."

"You're a true romantic." That smile lessened, but still hung on. "You would really try and save me, though?"

"Save sounds a bit dramatic, but what choice do I have? If someone carts you off, I'm definitely going with."

"So uh, what if you could get away scot-free? No witnesses. No police. No men in black. Just straight home." Just tack that question on too. In some way it was embarrassing to say that he'd still try to cover for her. He would, of course. Inherent masculinity or the idea that she would probably lord that fact over him for the rest of time. The opposite, however, of her falling into a serious depression of him saying he'd take the opportunity was far worse for several reasons.

"I'd still try to 'save' you, OK? I thought we went over this a while back."

"OK, OK, it's just nice to make sure." Missy nodded. She looked up at him, then back down at the waffles. He could feel her wanting to add some other sort of qualifier to that question. She snapped back up again. "OK, but what if there was money involved?"

"Missy." She bowed her head, still gazing up at him. Leo supposed that, in some way, she really did deserve a proper answer to that. He was her only lifeline after all. "Fine. No, I would not sell you out for money. No matter the amount."

Missy popped up and went back to gorging on waffles. "Thanksh," she said. "I would do the shame fur you!" Leo briefly imagined a world full of Missy creatures. He would certainly be persecuted there, or maybe he'd be hailed as a hero for being the only one to work. She swallowed. "Ya know, if things were switched."

"I got it." Leo didn't doubt that. Things sure would be a lot different in her world. He couldn't even begin to imagine the things she might want if he were in her debt. Fortunately there was no real way he could imagine having to owe her for anything. Not as long as he didn't make any stupid deals. "So you wanna go for a walk after breakfast?"

The lazing monster glanced back at the window. "Nah, not today," she said with a shake of the head. She might still be a little jumpy about the fog. "You know what I feel like doing?"

"You don't have many options."

"Videogames."

"I don't have those."

"Yeah, I thought so. I guess it's back to watching movies." She finished off her waffles and wiped down her mouth with a napkin. "Or, you know what?"

"I really don't know."

"How about we do one of your things?"

"My things? Care to be a little more specific than that?"

"Your uh, fish hook thingies. With the dazzlers and the uhm, other things."

"And why would you want to do that?"

"It's fair, right? You watched movies with me so I'll"--she waved her hands about--"do the fish stuff whatever with you." Missy had a way with words for sure.

"Do you even know what I do when I go over those?"

"No, but you can tell me, right? Isn't that the fun part of getting people into the stuff you like?" Not really. New people never could get into the serious aspects of collecting.

"OK, fine, I guess. You can't complain that it's boring." More that Leo didn't feel like being dragged into a movie. At least not yet. "Let me just finish my breakfast."

She propped her head up on her hand and stared. "I can wait." For once, he wished she didn't.  
_

"What's that one?" Missy said, pointing to one of the many lures in the box.

"A plug," Leo replied.

Missy eased up closer to him. Her furry elbow pushing up against his. "And that one?"

"A spoon."

"How do they come up with the names of these things?" She pointed to another. "This one must be a flibbly wibbly, and this other one must be a spinnywinny."

"They're named based on design, mostly."

"That thing sure don't look like a spoon to me."

"It's got the concave part here, like a regular spoon."

"So what are the ones not named after what they look like or do or whatever?"

Leo pushed the lurebox over to her so she would ease off, but she didn't get the hint. "Here, this one is a Florida Special." He held it up and then placed it on the collection board in front of them.

"Florida? So it's for catching gators, right? And druggies?"

"Something like that."

Missy stared at the lure. "Why do you collect these things? Other than for fishing, I mean." She looked back down at the box. "A lotta these look pretty old, so like, you wouldn't use them, right?" Leo was surprised to hear she had any ability to date something in such a tame way.

"It helps me rest easy at night knowing I have a super duper triple hook spinny fish in a box. Or whatever it was that you said," Leo replied.

Missy smiled at him. "OK, but seriously. Is it really just the history?"

"If I had an answer, I would be able to get a therapist for it." Leo stared at the little ancient fish. In the simplest terms, they were neat. He couldn't quite wring his brain out for any more answers than that. Sure they were almost like historical artifacts. He couldn't go dig up a caveman's spearhead, but he could hold onto a decades old fisherman's tool, which was a pretty close analogue. "Isn't there stuff you think is appealing enough to hold onto?"

"Uhhhh, I used to line up beanie babies I guess?" Missy said with a shrug. She held up another lure. "But with those you could hug 'em and give 'em names. All these things do is poke you and kill fish."

"No, that's what a dehooker is for." Leo quickly opened the desk and produced the tool, setting it next to the box.

"Wow, you've got it all, huh?" Missy carefully set the lure down, much to Leo's surprise. "You gonna put 'em in a museum when you get older?"

"I could give them to my kids, right? If they're into fishing, anyways." Hopefully. "At least they'd be worth a pretty penny if they don't."

"Oh, so it's a nest egg too. Hope you aren't planning on naming them stuff like Florida Special."

Leo began setting up some lures on the board, arranging them on date. "That would be child abuse, plain and simple."

"I never know with fishers." She gasped. "We should get you one of those fishing hats that dads wear!"

"You think something so tacky would fit on me?" Leo asked, somewhat earnestly.

Missy sized him up. "Maybe not."

"They would probably fit on you though." Leo glanced at her repulsive ALF shirt. He quickly realized that her bare fur hid a lot more bosom than he knew.

"I was gonna say no but you're toooootally right! I should get one next time you go fishing!" Yes, have you seen the redneck of the lake? Fascinating creature. Before long she would be wearing overalls and chewing on the grass for no other reason than 'it's funny'. "Which one is your favorite fishy doodad?"

"For use or aesthetics?"

Missy stared at him for a moment, brow furrowed. "I guess for looks?"

Leo pulled out one of his more refined lures. "I'm quite fond of the Dowagiac for looks. Soft coloring, faded wood, prominent eyes. It doesn't quite look like a minnow despite being called one, but I think that makes it more amusing." He turned it over. "Good contours too." Yep, it was a true antique beauty. He glanced back to Missy, who was scratching her head. "You know you don't have to do this."

"Oh no, I wanna see this. Just uh, tryin' to figure out the whole appeal of fake fishies." She held up a hand. "I mean, they're nice! But..." Leo had to commend her for making the effort, however misguided it was. "Guess you'd have to be a fisher to appreciate them, huh?"

"Maybe."

"How'd you get into these? Aside from being a fish guy."

"My dad gave me one when he was digging through the attic. Later I got older and needed a lure, didn't want to use the old one so I went off to buy another. Turns out the market was selling some older lures from the same set." Leo shrugged. "Just had to get them too, you know?"

"Oh you got addicted." Missy smiled.

"I imagine it's better to get addicted to lures than any other thing."

"Better than drugs. Though with you I wonder if these are your drugs."

Leo narrowed his eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean, everyone has an addiction, right? It's good to know you have one too."

"I can guess a few addictions of yours," Leo said as he glanced at the board. She did have something of a point there, but lures had a practical use too, they weren't just pretty to look at.

"You know, you got a lotta these but I don't see any fish pictures or fish trophies or fish in general."

"Those are extremely tacky. The fun part is fishing."

"What?! No it isn't!" Missy burst out into laughter. "You sit in one spot for an hour and wait for a bite."

Leo inadvertently sighed. Her outburst got the better of him. "There's more to it than that. Why do you think there are so many lures?"

"Different fish?"

"Anyways," Leo started, "I think we've had enough fun with this." He began carefully putting everything away.

"You sure?"

"Well, you don't seem to be enjoying it." Not in the right way. "Isn't that the important part?"

"Yeah! Yeah... Uh, maybe we should find something to do that we both like?"

"I'm not in the mood for a movie right now."

"No. Not a movie. We can find something else, right?"

The chances of that seemed slim to none. "Well, if you find something you let me know," Leo replied, wholly not expecting that to ever happen. In a way that was a shame. Missy was going to be here for a very, very, very, very long time. Each very that crossed his thoughts made him feel more and more tired.

"Are you gonna make the attempt, though?" Missy asked.

"I'll try anything once." He quickly added. "Except karaoke."

Missy inched closer to him, placing a hand on his chest. "I bet you have a lovely singing voice!"

Leo grabbed her wrist and carefully pushed her hand away. "I haven't sang in years." Now that wasn't true at all. He wasn't giving Missy an inch. 

"Oh?" Her hand quickly maneuvered onto his, wrapping those spindly digits around his palm, interlocking their hands. "Maybe you're more of a dancer?" Leo was squicked by the odd sensation of her elongated digits rubbing across his skin. She did a little jig before Leo came back to his senses and pried loose from her.

"Not dancing either," he replied, wiping his hand off on his pants. She wasn't filthy, or she shouldn't be, but the ghostly feeling lingered on his skin. "Think of something else."

Missy flexed her hand. "I guess there ain't much for us to do." Was that a hint of somberness in her voice? Knowing Missy she could have been joking or legitimately sad. Unfortunately for him, he was burdened with the task of keeping her happy.

"Well what would you want to do?" Leo asked, backing off from her.

"Oh, oh, we could watch youtube videos or-- or-- or listen to music, or just watch random things on TV. Maybe we could cook something together and just put whatever in there! Do you have any board games? We could play those too!"

There weren't a lot of options for sure. "You want to carve wood?" Leo joked.

The question made Missy calm down and tilt her head. "What?" Worked like a charm.

"I have some woodcutting tools, you'd probably be good at it." He gestured over to another worktable.

"Don't mess with me, Leo, I wanna have fun."

"I'm already having fun, as it turns out."

Missy rolled her eyes. "Just trying to find something enjoyable, OK? We're you know uh, good uh, roommates." 

"You mean friends?" While Leo had already accepted his fate as such, there was a permanence to saying it out loud.

Missy shrugged but gave no real response to that. "All I'm saying is we should do more fun things except a movie once a year. Turns out fishies aren't as cool as I thought," she said, patting the table.

"We don't need to constantly be doing things though. We can do our own things."

"It gets boring by myself though, and you definitely totally said no talking to people online 'cause they're all mega stalkers." Which was fair. "Plus you're a cool guy. Who wouldn't want to hang around you?" Leo couldn't even work up the energy to smile at that sentence. A moment later her expression dropped and her eyes widened. "What's in the safe by the way?" she asked, gesturing over to the large metal box in the corner.

"It's a gun safe, you figure it out."

Missy was taken aback. "So you really do have a gun?" she asked in a near whisper.

"You thought I would lie about something like that?" Leo replied. "And it's plural."

"Can I see it?"

"Are you alright?"

"It's kinda weird knowing someone has a gun. Almost like, scary." She sized up Leo.

"I'm not going to kill anyone." Not without perfect reasoning. "Here." He walked over to the safe and placed a hand on the dial. Leo paused then stood in front of Missy to obscure the dial. With a final click it popped open, revealing the one rifle he owned. "Stay put," he said back to Missy as he went over it. Unloaded, racked several times, chamber clear, safety on. Leo carefully eased back around to present the thing. "Nothing to be afraid of."

Missy furrowed her brow as she stared hard at the thing. She brought her hands up. "That thing isn't loaded, right?"

"You think I'd show it to you if it was?"

"Good point." She continued to stare and stare and stare. 

"You want to hold it?" Missy was too stunned to make a bad joke, fortunately. "It won't bite."

"Are you sure that's OK? I'm not gonna break it?"

Leo held back the urge to tease her fears a bit more. She had every reason to be scared of a thing she had only ever seen in movies or terrible news. "Stick out both hands." The woman obliged, presenting her palms. Leo eased the thing down into her grasp, letting her get a feel for its weight.

"Woah that's heavy," she said before snapping back into uncertainty. Missy continued to stare at the thing like it might explode at any second. "Why do you have this?" She looked up at Leo. "I mean, not that it's bad or anything..."

"It's just for protection."

"So you haven't blasted any deer with this?"

"No. I don't think deer have any intent to break in."

"You never know." She pursed her lips. "You can take it back now." Missy held the thing up with wobbly arms. Leo took it from her, wondering if fear was getting the best of her or it was just too heavy for her. He promptly put it back in its place, closing the safe snugly with a loud click. "Uh, what was that kind of gun called?

"It's an AR-15. Got it real cheap by assembling it myself."

"You can just make those?" Missy said, eyes widening. She shook her head and crossed her arms. "I thought that was super illegal. Terrorism illegal."

"Of course not. Also, just so we're clear, you don't touch this safe. Ever."

"Hey man, no complaints here."

"Good. You think of anything you want to do? If not, I'm going to chop some wood," Leo said.

"What? Why?"

"I like to keep stocked on charcoal. Maybe have a barbecue."

She immediately perked up. "Ooh, that sounds nice! You get right on that, lumberjack." Leo was slightly disappointed she didn't actually think of anything. It wasn't like it would have been anything good, but he was curious what next stupid thing she'd pursue.

"Sure thing. You gonna hunt another grouse for me too?"

"No!"


	25. WIP

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Current stopping point as of 3/9/2021. More to come.  
> New content starts in the previous chapter at "Before long she would be wearing overalls and chewing on the grass(...)"

It had actually been some time since Leo went out to chop wood. A bit humid for it at the moment. Nothing Leo couldn't handle. The process was strangely fun as well, triggering all the little instructions in his head to cut things up into nice, even pieces. However, there was an itch at the back of his mind, like someone was watching him. He glanced back on the end of the next swing, only finding forest. Maybe there really was a fog monster. Leo glanced back at the house. Or maybe there was a nosy monstress watching from the window.

Every so often Missy would peek through the window blinds, her eyes barely illuminated by the sunlight. Two long fingers would pry open the blinds, those orbs would come into view, then it'd snap shut. He had to admit it was somewhat unnerving. It could have been downright scary were he not aware that Missy was probably watching some terrible movie, gorging herself on cereal in the process. Still, he hoped she didn't do that to passerbys. Leo would have to explicitly tell her not to do that, if she'd listen.

Leo realized that having a monster stare at him from a distance had become a norm. He was just casually chopping wood as something from his nightmares gawked at him without a care in the world. If someone had told him a few months ago that he'd be all buddy buddy with an imaginary friend he had long forgotten about, he'd probably tell them to see a psychotherapist. And yet, there she was. Leo himself most likely needed the therapist. Letting her in. Letting her stay so long. Letting her have her own room.

The man had all but forgotten about her, shoved to the dark corners of his mind, and now they were the odd couple. Leo stopped and looked at the window. The blinds quickly snapped back into place. How could she slip from his thoughts so easily? His parents certainly denied that she had ever existed. Reasonable, he suppposed. The real world wasn't filled with Wolficuses and it was easy to say that a young man going around talking about his monstrous friend certainly wasn't good for anyone, least of all himself. Maybe it was just too easy to chalk it all up to imagination. Everyone had an imaginary friend. Missy became his.

That probably partially explained why his childhood was foggier than he'd like it to be. Unless something worse happened that he didn't remember. He glanced up again, noticing the blinds close once more. Missy would have definitely spilt the beans on something terrible like that, to add a dab of depression to their life story. Unless she did it. Leo stared at the log of wood in front of him. Nah, she couldn't have done anything bad like that. He split it in two, completing the last of the firewood. After arranging all those chunks into a neat pile, Leo wiped his hands clean and headed back inside, only to be greeted with a strange sight.

Missy sat at the dining table. In front of her was a wine glass filled with pink lemonade and a hot pocket. Opposite to her was much of the same. Her shirt had spatters of water on it, making it cling to her. Washing dishes? "Welcome back, have a seat!" she said, presenting the chair to him. Leo furrowed his brow and took her invitation.

Leo sat there for a few minutes in silence before working up the energy to ask, "What is this?" He forgot he even had those microwaveables, let alone that they were still good. In the background Missy had set it to play something that sounded like elevator music.

"A nice lunch," she replied, swishing the glass about.

"I liked it when you cooked, you know."

"I didn't know how long you'd be out there."

"Well, thanks. I guess." Leo shrugged and bit into artificial breaded pizza thing. It was warm.

"So uh, you know, I have something to tell you."

Leo swallowed. "Yeah?" Not sure what else she could break.

"I've been really happy here," she started. Leo raised an eyebrow. "I don't think I really said how nice it is to be here. Ya know. Next to you. Especially at night." She nibbled on some hotpocket. "So thanks!"

The man blinked. "You're welcome," he said with a smile and a nod. Good to see it wasn't all for nothing.

Missy crooked her head. "Uh, anything else?"

"Mmm, nope, no that's it. You're welcome." He tapped on the plate. "I guess you nuked these pretty well too."

"Yeah." She tore into it. "I did." Missy stared off at nothing in particular, leaving Leo to notice that her clothes clung a little too well. While her fur hid most of the enticing parts of a wet shirt, small nubs still poked through the sopping wetness. Didn't he buy her a bra for this very damned reason? He was about to chide her for that, then realized how embarrassing that would be. Then he realized how embarrassing that was in general. "Well, I got something else to say too."

"Yeah?" Leo automatically responded, snapping his attention elsewhere.

Missy took a drink. "So uh, you know how I said that like, you know, I was uh, with other guys--" Leo held up a hand. "No, no, c'mon this is important." Yeah, sure. He rolled his eyes. "That wasn't true. I mean OK it was kinda true, but we didn't go all the way, you know? Just some stuff... I mean, we did a little bit of-- You know what? Forget it." Her ears flattened.

"I kinda figured that." That took all the wind of out of Missy's sails. "You're not the best at keeping a story straight, you know?" He glanced over at the television, still playing that elevator music. "Why'd you tell me?" Of course he knew why, not that he really needed to have her past explained to him.

"No real reason."

Leo rubbed his temple. "Look, Missy, we need our space apart. I'm not getting you out because I hate you or I think you're some sort of pest. We're going to go crazy if we're together all the time. You get it?" He put on a comforting smile. "You're going to like your own room, really. I'll still be around, that's not going to change." Leo had to stop and appreciate just how surreal the situation was before adding, "I'll get you a good TV too. For your birthday." If you behave.

The monstress hummed and leaned over the table, squishing what chest she had against the surface. "Alright, but you still have to be careful with my night brooding."

Leo chuckled. "Yeah, sure, I'll keep an eye out for that."

"Thanks." She continued to nibble on her meal. "Blegh, these things kill my stomach."

"You alright?" It certainly tasted alright for what it was.

"Yeah, I dunno, these things just never work out in my guts. Tasty though!"

"Wash it down with some lemonade then." Leo was already hard at work thinking what could be the issue. Good distraction from other features. Cheese, most likely, considering the thing was bursting at the seams with the stuff. She was probably lactose intolerant and didn't even know it. Now whether that was part of her anatomy in general or she grew into it like humans, he sure couldn't tell. "Are you sure you can have lactose?"

"I'm not some kinda weakling who can't have milk."

"Would explain the gut problems."

Missy paused and her eyes slightly widened. "Hey, you know what, I think you're right. No wonder ice cream sucks. I guess I am a milk weakling."

"You went all this time feeling bad after eating ice cream and only now do you realize?"

"Hey, I always figured it was just because it was cold." In a way Leo had to admire how naive she was at times. Cold stuff making your stomach hurt? Perfect Missy logic.

If she was clueless about that, what else was she overlooking? "Anything else make you feel bad?"

"Uhh, asparagus makes me want to throw up." She shrugged. "Oh, but that's because it tastes gross."

"That would do it." Leo looked down at his half-eaten meal. Tomato sauce seeped out of it, messing up the whole plate.

"Also coffee doesn't taste like it smells, what's up with that?"

"Everyone thinks that."

"Oh. That's stupid. If it tasted like it smelled, I'd drink it. It sucks though."

"We don't need you hopped up on caffeine."

Missy chugged some more lemonade. "Speaking of caffeine, how do you live without coke? Water and fruits gets boring, doesn't it?"

"That stuff will rot your teeth."

"No it doesn't." She hooked her fingers into the sides of her mouth and pulled, revealing every sharp tooth in her mouth. "Shee?" They certainly weren't in any terrible condition. Even if she were allowed out into world, dentistry work on her would cost a fortune. 

"It rots my teeth," Leo said, wincing.

"Maybe you can buy some for me then? Oh! With a little mini-fridge in my room."

"I'm worried if I put a fridge in there, you'll stop moving altogether."

"That would be the life," she replied with a sigh. "Hope you'll come visit me in my room."

"They're for privacy's sake."

"I'll visit you in yours for movie nights, so it's only fair you visit mine."

"For what? What are we going to do in there?" Leo realized the stupid question a little too late.

"To have soda parties." Oh. "What else?" she asked, placing her head in her palms and raising her chest onto the table.

"Maybe paint the walls in pink?"

"Nuh uh, it's gonna be black. Then I can blend in."

"You'll be smashing into walls like that," Leo replied.

The two settled into silence after that, with Leo staring at the television off in the living room. He began to wonder if she was ever actually getting that room at this point. If she was going to make a mess of her clothes like that and not even bother to wear the important parts-- Important parts? Stupid way to think of that. If she wasn't going to wear the concealing parts, then they definitely needed their own space. He'd have to get her a television too. Probably mount it. That sounded like a fun project actually. "Would you want the TV on the wall or on a dresser?" he asked suddenly.

"Uh, wall. Looks nicer."

"Good choice. I think I know how to do that."

"You're not supposed to have fun with this."

"Alright, alright." Now what tools did he need?  
_

"You've been staring at that wall for an hour, dude," Missy said. She and Leo were standing in the storage room. Missy lair-to-be.

Leo rubbed his chin. "It's going to take longer than that if you want this straight." He set his laser level against the wall and began marking with pencil. "It'll kill me if it's crooked."

"I can always just tilt my head. No problem." She leaned over and placed her head on his shoulder. Leo almost moved away, but he didn't want to interrupt exactly where his level was. "My own room and a TV, now that's a good deal. Maybe we can toss a new car in too?"

"I'm afraid no amount of sweeping will ever net you a car. Or trash tossing. Or vacuuming. Or--"

"It was a joke, sheesh," she said with a chuckle. Her arm wormed its way up his back and over his shoulder.

"Do you mind?"

"I do."

Of course you would. "The television is going to be no bigger than sixty inches." Leo pulled out his tape measurer to give her a better sense of scale, if she even had one in the first place.

"Cool!"

"Why don't you stand over there and picture it," he said, motioning over to the other side of the room.

"I can picture it here." It was awfully strange having her words reveberate through him like that.

"Yeah but you're going to be laying down over there."

"Nah, this is good too." She patted him. He huffed. "So is it gonna be 4k 8k HD blu-ray top of the line thingamajig?"

"Yeah." Leo nodded and began picturing it himself. "Something like that." Four hundred bucks well spent, hopefully. "You're going to use it, right?"

"Well duh, it's gonna be great. I can watch TV all night without disturbing my lion."

"And keep the volume down."

"Oh am I gonna get a sound bar thingy too?"

"I'll see." Chaching. "Remember, the same cleanup rules apply. I am not having any roaches in here, so help me God."

"What? You got one Wolficus, can't handle some bugs too?"

"I really can't." He was already imagining the slob den she'd turn it into. Oh please no. There was a good chance he'd caulk every bit of furniture to the wall, just so nothing could get behind them.

"Don't worry, all the yummy food stays in the kitchen. Except popcorn-- Oh or if I'm craving some cheese. You ever get that? Just need a slice of cheese?"

"Clean up is all I'm asking."

"Sure thing, no problem. Clean as can be."

"So what colors do you want the walls painted?" Leo looked around the room as much as he could with a beast hanging around his neck. "I should be able to mix up a pink for you."

"I said blaaaaack. What's with guys thinking girls love pink, huh?"

"It's not like you ever told me what your favorite color is."

"What's your favorite color?" Missy instantly asked. She turned her head more toward Leo's, rubbing her snout up against his cheek. He could at least pull away from that.

"I don't know. Navy blue?"

"A very good manly color!" Too loud. "Make the room that color."

"Are you kidding me? It's going to be pitch black at night if you get that color."

"Good." Of course that wouldn't be an issue for her. Missy was geared for the night, or at least he assumed that she was, what with the pitch black fur and ocean eyes that were staring at him right that very moment. "Oh but uh, I guess it should be brighter just in case you wanna check on me," she said.

"Not to worry, I'll hear you snoring."

"I do not snore." Just then there was a knock at the door, pulling Missy away from Leo's shoulder and making his neck awfully cold. "It's the UPS guy," she said, snuggling back into Leo.

"You mind if I get that?" Leo replied, feebly attempting to wriggle out of her grasp. "I'd rather not have incredibly expensive computer parts rotting on my doorstep."

"The common criminal ain't even gonna know how to put that stuff together."

"No, but I am worried about what the elements are going to do to it." He pulled free from Missy and set his tools aside. Leo took a moment to peer through the blinds next to the front door. That familiar brown van began pulling away, down the road and eventually out of sight. "Don't leave that room, there's a few boxes I have to get," he said.

"Aye aye, cap'n," Missy yelled back. 

Leo cracked open the door to make absolutely certain nobody was out there, then opened it a bit more. One by one he pulled the boxes in until they were all neatly piled next to the door. It didn't take him long to begin opening up the boxes. His mind was aching for something to do, and here it is. Leo looked to Missy, who was already right next to him. Oh right, this was her project too. In fact, she was the reason they were doing this. "So, let's get started," Leo said, pushing a box over to her.

"Such is the life of a hard working woman," Missy replied. She sat down next to him and started cleanly slicing open the packaging. "Ya know, I never thought I'd make a computer. Everyone has a laptop or a tablet thing."

"I never thought I'd be building a computer with you," Leo said. In more ways than one. He held up a smaller box he pulled out of the generic brown. "What's this?"

"Oh that's the thermal paste!"

"Right." Leo nodded. He knew the general idea of how a computer was laid out, probably more than the layman. Still not enough to fully assemble one. It felt... Good? Good and odd that Missy was going to be leading the charge on this one. Assuming she was. It was possible that she wouldn't actually lift a finger to work.

"This should be the computer case. A shame we didn't get the gamer LED one." The monstress opened a larger box and pulled out a nice metal grey case.

"We are not building a decepticon."

"With a rainbow keyboard."

"What an eyesore. Can you imagine trying to use that late at night? A computer monitor is bright enough."

"How else are you gonna let the neighbors know you're booting up Skyrim?"

"Booting up what?"

"Never mind." Missy shook her head. "Get the motherboard, we'll put everything on there first."

"OK then." Leo knew what that was for sure, pulling out the nice box that read 'motherboard' on it along with a string of letters and numbers. How handy! "Let's move this stuff over to the dining table." The two shuffled the items near the table for easy access and sat down.

"Basically we gotta put most of the things on this big green cookie." Missy freed the thing from its packaging and presented it. She delicately handled it too, surprisingly.

Leo furrowed his brow. "I see you've got the technical lingo down pat." He could already guess where some things fit. Regardless, he was going to let Missy direct everything. "So what next?"

Missy quickly pulled out some more green wafers out of another box. "Physical RAM." Her sharp claw pointed out the slots. "Remember to flip the little flaps!"

Snap. Snap. Snap. Easy. Leo expected more tools to go into this. "Alright, what next?" The man was flexing his hands. To be put to use was the best entertainment there was.

"Next we uh... Hm." Missy leaned in and stared at the big green cookie.

"Something wrong?" Already?

"Well uh, I didn't know this had a CPU already. So..." She leaned over and grabbed another box, presenting it. "We aren't gonna need to put this CPU on." She tapped on the thermal paste as her head lowered. "Or this."

Leo looked at her for a brief moment. That was his fault for not checking everything himself. He waved it away. "Oh well. We can save it as a backup. Let's just finish assembling the rest of it." 

Missy perked right back up. "Alllllrighty then." The waste of cash was quickly shoved aside and the motherboard was once again the center of attention.

The pair worked on the computer piece by piece. Slotting every object, inserting every wire, and tightening every screw. Leo didn't pick up on most of it. The labeling on the items were mostly shorthand meaning he couldn't grasp their true meaning. Missy, however, seemed to know where everything went without so much as a slip up, and for once she was quite stoically quiet through it too. Of course she would spark up with a smile or giggle when Leo didn't do something exactly right, but it was refreshing to see her so focused. Though at the same time the house felt out of order without a bad joke or an excited yell echoing through it.

It wasn't long before the whole thing came together with a click of the case's cover, hiding away the confusing guts of the computer. "Now you just gotta plug it in. Fingers crossed," Missy said, tapping on the power button. Leo did just that. He plugged in the computer and then crossed his fingers. Mentally, of course. The thing turned on with a reassuring whirr. "Sounds good to me. Plug in the rest. If you know how."

"I know how to plug in a keyboard and mouse. I'm not that clueless."

"It's OK if you don't. Master Missy here has it all figured out." She patted his shoulder.


End file.
